Join | Login 

     Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!

Signed Bookstore | Authors | eBooks | Books | Stories | Articles | Poetry | Blogs | News | Events | Reviews | Videos | Success | Gold Members | Testimonials

Featured Authors: Patrick Granfors, iStan Law (aka Stanislaw Kapuscinski), iLinda Frank, iZ McClure, iGloria Gay, iSara Coslett, iZannah Hackett, i
  Home > Political Science > Articles
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Jerry W. Engler

· Become a Fan
  Notify me of new titles
  added by this author.

· 164 titles
· 1,033 Reviews
· Share with Friends!
· Save to My Library
Member Since: Nov, 2006

   My Blog
   Contact Author
   Read Reviews

· Highly Embellished Truth & Some Poetry: Just Folks Three

· A Heartland Voice: Just Folks Two

· Just Folks: Earthy Tales of the Prairie Heartland

Short Stories
· The Hanging of the Greens

· Charmin' Carmen Finds His Soul

· Crank One Long For Central

· Oswald K. Underfoot finds a firefight treasure

· Anna Marie, You'll Be With Me

· Eddy Burnt By Harlan Medlam's Lucky Happy Birthday

· Bob-a-Long Sings a Diffferent Song

· A Flower Girl Sister Surprise

· The St. Louie Bird Call

· Wild Willy takes a bite out of Curley Red

· Conniving My Retirement

· Geo-referencing Soil pH for Liming

· Mexican Retriever, Huh

· A Fair Love Affair

· Well, There's a Power Struggle

· Author Youtubed

· Winter for the Birds

· Desperate Self-Definition Times for America

· King Corn

· Build a jail, never fail

· NightWake

· Mercy, My Own

· My Room

· Endure, Endure, and Endure

· Puppy Love Roast

· Dot Com

· Lamentation Comprehension

· Love Decision

· Icky Banaki Childhood Dreamland

· Corn Slumber

         More poetry...
· Jerry Engler's Just Folks now on Kindle

· Authors Galore

· Author Youtubed

· Combat Troops Reading Books

· Engler signs at state fair

· Book Distribution Increased

· Engler Guest Speaker

Jerry W. Engler, click here to update your web pages on AuthorsDen.

Poop Fluttering Preferred
By Jerry W. Engler
Last edited: Friday, April 03, 2009
Posted: Friday, April 03, 2009

Share    Print   Save  Become a Fan
Recent articles by
Jerry W. Engler

• Conniving My Retirement
• Geo-referencing Soil pH for Liming
• Mexican Retriever, Huh
• A Fair Love Affair
• Well, There's a Power Struggle
• Author Youtubed
• Winter for the Birds
           >> View all 47
Have you had enough of the bailouts? Me, too. It's time for some straight poop, or at least some poop alternatives. Yes, they let me loose on the newspaper soap box again, even after the terrors of my last column.


Economic news and political actions of the past 60 days have me wondering if I should find a box to climb into so I can hide, or just sit and watch it all to enjoy the fluttering.
Why, they’ve even coined a new word, “Obamunism,” and promised a National Tea Party Day for April 15, when everybody is supposed to mail a tea bag to the White House to protest for no more taxes.
They’ve called for protest demonstrations in cities across the country all because our president and Congress have proven their love for AIG.
I might go to a protest if they have one in Pilsen.
With all the mumbo-jumbo talk-speak going on in Washington, local guys still can come up with clear ideas. I thought Dale Franz had one.
But then, Dale has to manage a real grocery store in the real town of Hillsboro, so he doesn’t have time for big-time foolish wisdoms.
Dale said the incredibly federal-wise might have done better to have given each of us $60,000. He might have bought a new car to help bail out the automakers, and then paid down on his mortgage to bail out bankers.
I’d have bought another pair of blue jeans and a dark chocolate bar, myself.
That’s the problem with real businessmen. Dale isn’t convoluted enough for political elegance. Most of the people I know aren’t even nearly as warped as me, and that’s just not good enough for upper echelon politics.
So, here I go again, picking on poor Howard Collett, who, when he was a county commissioner, in casual conversation, which I’m sure he never expected to see in a newspaper, reminisced on the good old days of the
first depression when one infrastructure payout was to provide money for every farm to build a concrete privy, an outhouse, a place for human excreting, you know, Sears Catalogue extrapolation.
That was nearly a long enough sentence to qualify me for Congress.
Anyway, my whole point was that if they had given me something out of all this as personal as a place to poop, I might feel better. They even made the toilet's name personal. It was called the Eleanor after Eleanor Roosevelt. What I couldn't do with a short sit over the Michelle Obama pit.
Alas, the leadership lacks imagination. They don’t even give a poop, poor boys dancing to the rich boys’
tune once again. It looks like the system is falling apart to us easily panicked fellows. Everything American could carry the label “Made in China,” print it on every crisp new $20 bill.
There is the comfort for me of an old acquaintance in Topeka, Bob Armstrong. Bob said it pleased him when he did have to pay taxes because it meant he was making money.
He went on to say that people usually don’t understand that it’s the job of government to do those functions needed by society that lose money.
If it was truly profitable to build roads, he said, private companies would be building them.
You can carry this on to ask yourself if, say, all the health care truly needed by society is provided, or if we need the money-losing segment of our culture to take it on. Will nurses and doctors provide the best of
care when money losers determine their pay?
Government can use its money-losing ventures to profit other entities, such as when it makes war to pay for weapons developers, subsidizes agriculture to run more farmers off the land, or bales out investment
bankers for Bahamian weekend jaunts.
Even those roads it builds can help you and me in local commerce. Folks like the county road and bridge department workers are doing quite a lot
with their tax-paid labor to subsidize General Motors and Schwin.
Marion and Hillsboro both got street-building money from the federal stimulus funds. That might be good, I think, I guess. Their economic development directors are justified in the never-ending battle to prove that government works.
It’s all a matter of what you want government to lose money for. I might have enjoyed a peanut-dispensing machine on every street corner.

If you think my desires are silly, just wait to you see what government comes up with next.
So, do I think all of this money we’re throwing away like a great pile of silage contaminated by congressional manure is going to have some trickle-down effect for us out here in the Pilsen protest?
Do I think the money is even real the way they throw the junk around thus suggesting the USA should change its name to Argentina?
Do I think Barack Obama will join George W. Bush in being called a dummy in another 30 days?
Have I really appreciated enough the government provided opportunity to use potty humor in a family newspaper?
Will I always pick on Pilsen because it’s more of a metro area than Aulne? What’s going to happen on “The Young and the Restless?”
Well, don’t just sit there. Help me find a box to hide under. It’s shock and awe time.

 copyright 2009, the Hillsboro Free Press, reprints allowed with credit given.

Web Site Jerry W. Engler

Reader Reviews for "Poop Fluttering Preferred"

Want to review or comment on this article?
Click here to login!

Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!

Reviewed by John DeDakis 4/6/2009
i find it interesting that three of the auto-generated ads at the top of the page when i read this were for wind generators. Thanx for pointing me in this direction, Jerry.
Reviewed by Cryssa C 4/6/2009
Sorry... I just can't review this... I am laughing too hard... hee, hee, hee...
Oh, if only our politicians were as wise as you! And...better yet...if only the citizens of our country could all see through the political rhetoric and run around we are being given...
I have to laugh, or I will cry.

Reviewed by - - - - - TRASK 4/3/2009
You All Are Really Living In United States Of Mexifornia, Los Angelese Sleazy Is Capitoli...

Since Most Humans Live In Vacuum In Own Little Corner Of There World (Brains) You You're Already Doomed-One These Mornings You'll Wake Up Get Message Find Yourselves In FEMA Concentration Camp(s...

I Know You All Think You're Infallible...

Credit Illuminating Write...

Reviewed by Marion Dollar 4/3/2009
Better yet-lets pay the North Koreans to take the politicians we have now! The Koreans get money they need, we get rid of Pelosi, Reid, Shumer, Clinton, Obama, Dodd, the banking Fairy Barney Frank and the rest of those goons. How sweet it is! Win, Win! It would take Guietner two years to figure out what happened.
Reviewed by John Martin 4/3/2009
How about we sell the politicians to the Chinese as indebted servants when it comes time to pay all the bills these poop balls are rolling up. Okay, the Chinese arenít stupid. Say the North Koreans donít have a lot of money, but I bet theyíd take em. Itís worth a shot.
Reviewed by JASMIN HORST SEILER 4/3/2009
Jerry use the one you're standing on, unless the weighty literature has collapsed it,ha Blessings! Jasmin Horst

Books by
Jerry W. Engler

Highly Embellished Truth & Some Poetry: Just Folks Three

Buy Options
Signed copy!
Amazon, Barnes & Noble, more..

Just Folks: Earthy Tales of the Prairie Heartland

Buy Options
Signed copy!
Amazon, Barnes & Noble, more..

A Heartland Voice: Just Folks Two

Buy Options
Signed copy!
Amazon, Barnes & Noble, more..

Political Science Articles
  1. Is a Perfect Storm Forming for 2016 and Be
  2. Reply to: Income Inequality Benefits Ever
  3. America - Nation of extremes
  4. Why Mitt Romney Pays Only 13% and Not 35%
  5. America at a Crossroads
  6. Most Government Programs Actually Work Ver
  7. They Spoke as One...Now it is Our Turn
  8. Fairy Tale- Press Democrate-Feb 10
  9. Are we not a free country?
  10. Oregon Leads the Way
  11. The American Dream - President Obama's Job
  12. Hooked on Oil-Press Democrat, )3/19
  13. The Thirteen Factors of Strategy Generatio
  14. The Obama administration's role during the
  15. George Will's Unanswered Questions
  16. Be Generous towards Netanyahu
  17. Moral Hazard - the failure of traditional
  18. Peace ?
  19. Social Security History
  20. Neo-Liberalism and Oppression

You can also search authors by alphabetical listing: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us

Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen

© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.