Hi Gerald Zollar: Thanks for your thoughtful response.

Do you think that if God exists, he or she will punish me for not believing in them?

First and foremost God is genderless, God is not human, God made all creatures from star stuff.  Humans are the most destructive of God’s creatures and we are the ones imbued with free will.  All creatures worship God except for some human who do know better.  Instinctive worship as suggested in the bible got boring, all those Cherubim and Seraphim flying around singing Holy, Holy, Holy.  We are a bit of a challenge, we get to choose, you have made a choice, live with it and die with it, you get one chance at that moment to really choose.  God would not punish anyone who does not believe.  Monotheism comes out of Africa, the Egyptians get it, the Hebrews get it we got it. 

The view of God as multiple entities is not new either.  The Patriarchal Hebrews labeled everything male.  Father, Son but the ruah (ru –ahh) is female.  The Holy Spirit but basically they wanted a male deity.  Did the Hebrew ‘invent’ God, no they did not.  They are and were not the first, nor as knowledge of the world started to be collected were they the only humans. 
If God invented everything why did God invent Satan?  God did not, free will did.   Satan choose, just like you.

Question: If Satan believes in God, why don’t you?

I grew up in an evangelical family but always lived in fear of God, death, hell.

That is what the bible means by false teaching.  The word ‘fear’ as translated to English does not means the fear we have of pain, of bullies, guns and so on. 

“Admittedly, millions have learned to have a fearful attitude, perhaps by using flawed translations or by listening to those who have blindly preached such fearful attitudes. This unfortunate concept of fear and dread seems have often been a result of the choice of words used by the scripture translators, not from the original words of the prophets.

The word most often translated in the Old Testament as fear is the Hebrew word  (transliterated as yirah)  which can possibly mean fear, but also means awe, reverence, respect and devotion. A closely related Hebrew word is (transliterated as yare) which can mean fearful, but also means to stand in awe, reverence or honor.

God ‘deserves our loving awe, respect and reverence’ “  (http://wahiduddin.net/words/fear.htm)

 I have difficulty with the idea that salvation is a "gift" of God, yet we can be punished eternally in hell if we choose, for whatever reason, not to accept or believe all that stuff.

Jesus died on the cross to atone for the past, present and future sins of mankind.  Eternal life is the gift that must be earned.  TANSTAAFL, there ain’t no such thing as a free lunch.  All convents are IF statements, free will, your choice.  There is discussion about that place called hell in that it may not be reserved for the regular ole sinner but for fallen angels.  Eternal life is for those who have earned it, yes earned it.  Sorry Charlie, TANSTAAFL.  You choose what you want to do, it is your life.  There are many on this planer who have not heard of, nor ever will, of Jesus yet they are good people, God’s creatures who worship God via their religion.  We as Christians have not done our part and if hell is reserved for anybody it may be us who claim Christ and do nothing.

I do admit that I feel alone in the world, and the universe, and that the nice part of being part of a church family was the feeling of belonging.

The community of believers is family, but many have fouled that with stupid rules, and many ism’s of intolerance.  I do pray you can find a real church home and worship in truth and spirit.

Certainly, religion/church, meets certain human needs that secularism doesn’t really provide. As has been said, you cannot believe in the atomic bomb.

In the (metaphorical) midnight hour when all about you has failed knowing that you know who you know that knows you will let you know comfort.

Joh 14:16  And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever;

Joh 14:26  But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name

I have had a lot of adversity in my life since I stopped being the devils plaything, drugs, sex, and rock and roll and some things that still have statues of limitations on them but God does not throw away those who cling to God.  No where is in the bible is there a perfect person, one so holy, so set apart that he can be used as a role model.  David, God’s favorite, had a man killed so he could get a little nooky.  Elijah, let a woman scare him until he ran and hid in a cave, now that was fear.  Daniel is an example of faith and so is Joseph, but Jesus ran around with twelve doubting, unschooled, people one of whom was set to betray him for his own cause.  Yet God took all of them when they gave them selves up to faith.  Only John lived a long life, not good odds.

But as Job declared, Job 13:15  Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him; but I will argue my ways before Him

Faith in God’s righteousness is required to the end, whatever end.

There is no certainty and I am pleased to see that you recognize the at least some aspects of institutional religion and church dogma is hokum.

I read Exodus and see Aaron and I sense that this is not God’s way.  What need does the creator of gold and so on have for it.  God can create a whole planet of gold.  The burnt offerings where often Cajun cooking and the priest got fat on the barbeque.  Institutionalized religion is as much for human as it is a way to stand before God.

The problem is keeping God first. 

Isa 58:6  Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the fetters of wickedness, to undo the bands of the yoke, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke?

Isa 58:7  Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry, and that thou bring the poor that are cast out to thy house? when thou seest the naked, that thou cover him, and that thou hide not thyself from thine own flesh?

In this Israel and us are called to service, to ministry in a specific way to work for God by work for each other.

Rodney King asked “Can’t we all get along?”

God told us how.  This works in any human society as a moral base.

Exo 20:12  Honour thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

Exo 20:13  Thou shalt not murder.

Exo 20:14  (20:13) Thou shalt not commit adultery.

Exo 20:15  (20:13) Thou shalt not steal.

Exo 20:16  (20:13) Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.

Exo 20:17  (20:14) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house; thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his man-servant, nor his maid-servant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.

My own sense is that if I die and find myself answering to a personal God I did not believe existed, I will only say in my defense that I tried to be a moral person and spent my working life as a social worker helping other people and if I made the wrong decision vis a vie God, it is only because I was using the intellect that God gave me to best understand and interpret the world.

There is no if you will die. There is no if, you will answer the only question is you say you do not believe but is that really true , this is not an intellectual exercise for me it is the purpose of The Ministry of One, my Raison d'être, I should be dead, yet I live, why?  To share with you, that is why.

All the best to you. Malcolm