“No Dead Beats Around Here”
By R.S. Little

“No Dead Beats Around Here”
It was approximately six weeks since I saw my little boy whom I so lovingly refer to as “Big Head.” He turned six years of age on December 25 and is the joy of my life. I couldn’t imagine my life without him. However, when it comes to the matter of what a father needs to do for his son I do not hesitate. Even though he doesn’t understand that his mommy and daddy are separated, we are still civil to each other, at least in my son’s eyes.
On a biweekly basis I have the privilege of sending X amount of money directly to my wife for the care of my son. By Friday she is sure to have received payment either by mail or by Western Union. How I hate those wiring fees, but I have come to live with them.
Frequently, I listen to the women whom I know who constantly sound off about how they receive no dough (financial support) for their kids. When the heated discussions arise, I usually find myself running away. Although when I’m feeling argumentative, I will take them on and play the devil’s advocate. I hear how they frequently complain, “You men ain’t shit,” and “He ain’t nothing but a deadbeat dad.”
The majority of the black men I know have a couple of baby-mamas and kids all over the place. I find myself feeling awkward because I talk about how I miss my son. Usually they do not respond or try to identify with my pain of not being in contact with my son. When I talk about him and how I miss him tears begin to well up in my eyes and a lump forms in my throat. (After this, I usually cannot continue to write for three days.)
I take the matter of fatherhood very seriously and wouldn’t trade the privileges and the respect of being a father for anything. I happen to know some men who, regardless of their past struggles, they are the father. They are the ones that pick up the kids after school and drop them off. They are the ones that don’t need a court order to pay child support. I know my son is growing and try to see his needs are met. I know that he is growing and needs things constantly. However, I call him daily and wish him the best. Say what you want, but I know ain’t no deadbeats dads around here.