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Robyn M. Speed

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Changing your behavior
by Robyn M. Speed   
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last edited: Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Posted: Wednesday, February 04, 2009

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I can change my behavior to better reflect who I am, and how I desire to be perceived.

Changing your thought processes is not an impossible process.

It starts with one step: what is it that is not the highest reflection of me?

Is it:
  • I complain and criticize too frequently
  • I am intolerance
  • I am impatient
  • I am not supportive of my loved ones
  • I resent having to do the housework and chores
  • I resent having to be responsible for everyone
  • I swear too much
  • I get angry too often
  • I don't put enough effort into preparing healthy meals
  • I hate my job
  • I hate my boss

The list could go on and on. The one thing that all these things have in common is: they can be changed, or perhaps a better term would be 'healed'.

Can it be changed overnight? Perhaps, but not likely. However, the most important key to success is: recognizing that there is something about yourself you desire to change, it is admitting that you are better and greater than these thoughts/behaviors, and that they do not accurately reflect who you truly are! (By the way, if you do think they accurately reflect you then: you are wrong. We know better!)

Okay, so you admit to yourself that there are things about yourself that could be improved, and let's be fair here: choose just one. If it is that you complain to much, or swear too much (and only you can decide which one you feel needs priority healing over any other issues), then let us begin with that one issue.

The challenge is to not do that (complaining or swearing) for two to four weeks. This is not a new idea and is currently underway in your world already, but we seek to have you expand this and use it to your advantage.

To begin with this will be a challenge and you will try hard to beat it, to win, to reach that 2 or 4 week margin (whichever one you decided on), and you may struggle to get past day one. Don't give up. Keep trying and trying and trying, even if you spend two months on day one! Established patterns cannot be changed overnight, but the process of accepting into yourself that these are patterns you no longer choose for yourself is a huge step, for soon that will trickle through to the deepest part of your thought processes and then the switch will be flicked. You will cease trying and simply do.

Does the switch flick that easily? Yes. All the forwork, all the 'failures' are simply a part of the process of making a change. If it was as easy as changing overnight, then it would not have been a big problem in the first place, but when these are bigger issues for you, then it takes time, and those failures are the opportunities to tell yourself: "I am not this thing, I am not the swearing/complaining, it does not reflect who I am and I reaffirm this to myself, and I will try again." Each time you are given this opportunity to reaffirm, you make the resolve stronger, you make the change more permanent. These are not failures, they are steps towards success!

When that switch is flicked you are easily able to achieve the goal. If, however, you err, and complain/swear, go back to day one and start again without any resentment of sorrow. It does not matter if this process takes a month or a year. This is a personal challenge that you undertake willingly and lovingly.

When you have succeeded in this you will, from then on, always be aware of what you say and do, but the complaining/swearing will no longer be an automatic part of your behavior. Now that you have conquered that, move on to another issue you find you could improve/heal. Don't make it something you will have trouble keeping with. If you work full time but you want your challenge to be 'cook healthier meals', first think about how much time you have to devote to meal preparation. It may be that to start with you choose a challenge of  'add a salad to the nightly meal', so that there is something raw and healthy on the table. You may experiment with different dressings and ingredients in the salad. Becoming aware of salads and their ingredients is the first step of becoming aware of healthier meals and paying more attention to what you put into your body.

A journey is made of small steps. You do not need to make giant leaps!

One success teaches you that you can achieve these goals. One success is all it takes.


Web Site: Robyn M Speed - Writer

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