The Heart of a Woman- Short articles about relationships and issues relating to relationships. Consistency of love deals with the idea of how consistency is so important to receiving love.
Consistency of Love.
Children learn very quickly about love and the need for consistency. Does mom love me today? Why is she upset with me? Do I feel special today. Children crave love.
It doesnt change as adults. We still crave love yet more and more we learn not to trust love. It starts with the patterns we learn in our childhood and continues with us as adults.
But as adults it gets more difficult. There are bad experiences. And because of the bad experiences the problems can multiple.
There are patterns of loving and being hurt. We venture forth to care and love and then have it taken away or abused. Then the heart becomes more and more afraid to care and to love. We start to look for signs that a relationship will not work out. The pattern focuses on the anticipation of pain and hurt instead of the actual pain that we experience.
As a woman will try to define how the man in her life loves her. She is faced with another reality of being a woman. Her cycle which will produce days that she craves love and needs sex. Then there are days she needs reassurance. Then there are the days she would just as soon be left alone. Her emotions pull and push her in directions that often confuse her and can confuse the man in her life as well.
In physically abusive relationships there are patterns of inflicting pain and then great remorse. I need love but instead I receive pain. Followed by receiving more love.
Is this what love really is? The emotional need being fed and then starved. The needs become greater for love because pain that is inflicted always discounts the love that is received.
Emotionally abusive relationships are much the same. Words, acts, and deeds of love never overcome the pain that is inflicted by the negative abusive comments. The patterns continue in the relationship until the other person can never met or fulfill the other person with the need for love. When love is given, it is not trusted. And since its not trusted its not able to feed the need for love.
It is so difficult to distinguish between not loving the person and not loving the acts that the person does.