When Loving Hurts


Sometimes lets face it, loving someone else hurts. It seems like the more you care the more you get hurt, because by the very nature of loving it means you are vulnerable to being hurt.

Love means pain. We lower the emotional walls that surround our lives and in rush both the enemies and the friends. The enemies are those who are takers and users…they only want something from us. They take more than they leave.

Even if they are friends it can be painful. Those friends who come into our lives and who do give and enhance and enrich our lives. The influence us in a positive way, or they give love and we enjoy their very presence. So you wonder, how can this be bad? How can this be painful?

Love means pain. Inherent in this is caring about that person…and at some point everyone does leave. Whether in the lifetime or at death, this is a loss suffered by the person who loves and loves passionately.

I have known individuals who loved so dearly that at the loss of a lifetime mate they passed away within months. Great was their love and great was the sorrow suffered at their passing.

Yet were would we be without this love? Lifeless and unemotional would be our existence. It would be like going to a great sporting event, a world series of action and not keeping score to see who won or who lost. Where the whole event was lifeless and boring. Passion by its very nature means there is and has to be pain. The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat and loss.

I would rather love passionately than to not enjoy the thrill of caring about another person, of stepping outside of myself and loving someone else as more important than myself. Not because of what they give to me, but rather to what they give to love and loving. This loving can be seen or manifested in one’s love for God, children, a mate or even a cause.

Pain, when experiencing this agony of defeat and failure we want naturally to wish it away…never we say to ourselves do we want to experience this again…not realizing that we might be extinguishing the very nature of what we should be trying to cultivate in ourselves….the ability to love others.


4-13-2007 The thoughts of Pablito