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Walt Hardester

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Two Fears
By Walt Hardester
Last edited: Monday, January 19, 2009
Posted: Tuesday, December 16, 2008



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Recent articles by
Walt Hardester

• Each Day
• Two Wolves
• The Clinic
• Accidental Suicide?
• Fog From A Sailor's Perspective
• I Was Appalled
• What Else Do They Put In It?
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Fear of failure. Fear of success. The Bible says sixty-seven times, “Fear Not”.
Why is this?
I believe that fear is the fastest way to become separated from the “Universal Consciousness“.









Fear of failure:
Here is an individual perfectly capable of opening and running a successful business. He has worked in his field of expertise for many a season, and has perfected his craft, even to the point of inventing ways to make his current bosses business more efficient and cost effective. He has been recognized by his boss as an idea man. However, he has not been recognized for his expertise by salary increases commensurate with his skills and contributions to the business.

He knows he will be successful in his own business, and even take some of his former bosses’ customers with him because he is the one they come to see to work on their projects anyway.
He is the one they come to see to get things done correctly, while his boss sits in his office and says, “What a good worker he is, I don’t know what I would do without him”.
Now here is the conundrum:

What keeps a person, secure with his abilities and expertise from starting his own business?
It is ok that you don’t know the day to day financial things that come with a business, those people can be hired.
How deep do we have to go to seek out that one voice of insecurity that tells this person:
“If you do this you will fail”.
How deep? I think that the comfort of a secure job or career is the motivating factor here.
Not as deep I think as is the next consequence of fear.

Fear of success:
President Ronald Regan said his father was an alcoholic.
I quote, “ My father was an honorable man, but also, an alcoholic, he seemed not to be able to handle success. When things were terrible for the family, he always buckled down and worked hard to bring us to a better place. But once he had overcome adversity, and taken his family from poverty to a better place, he always did something to sabotage it”.

Why does this kind of behavior exist, and what triggers it?
One would think that seeing ones family secure would be enough to make a man happy. For most it is, but what about the ones feel that somehow they should always fail?

What about fear of success?

I’m sure in clinical psychology, this is one of the greatest mysteries. It certainly is to me.
What drives one to feel the need to fail? Personal insecurities, Masochism, feeling that they don’t deserve the blessings that they have worked so hard to bestow on themselves?
I have no answer to this, no matter how much I ponder this. I am still stumped. Why does one want to fail?
If I knew the answer to this one, I could probably solve 90% of the worlds problems, and become rich in the process.
Sorry, I cannot understand why anyone would want to fail, but it happens every day. People sabotage their lives with self destructive behavior, just when things are going the best ever. Then they seem to relish in their own self-imposed misfortune, or blame other people or circumstance. I give up. If you, my readers have an answer, and/or a solution, please let me in on it.

©2008 Walt Hardester


       

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Reviewed by Penny Tidwell (Reader) 12/17/2009
Hi Walt....as I am pondering your story, it makes me realize I have close people in my life that fight this battle...hummmmm. Could it be lack of confidence in ones abilities??? Thanks for sharing! Penny
Reviewed by Cynthia Buhain-Baello 3/20/2009
Hi Walt,

Nice article. Well a person may still have two fears that hold him from being "successful" - fear of himself (failure/blame) and fear of his wife (expenditures/travel/jewelry/the works).
Reviewed by Jon Willey 12/18/2008
Walt, one of the best theories I have read about, out of the literally thousands that have been expounded, is cognitive dissonance -- I believe when you couple that with how you were value programmed you probably come as close to a real analysis of this phenomena as is possible -- peace and love to you in this most wonderful season of celebration,Christmas -- JMW
Reviewed by Rebecca Lerwill 12/17/2008
Walt - fear is brought upon us by evil. It's designed to distract and distroy the healthy mind. I deeply believe that.
Great write,
Love
r~
Reviewed by Georg Mateos 12/17/2008
Two fears, could be applied to the battle front, where with fear inside his heart a soldier will jump from the security of the foxhole to retrieve a wounded buddy. Then you have the soldier whose fear nail him to the bottom of his foxhole hearing the call for help from his wounded buddy.

Georg

Reviewed by Felix Perry 12/17/2008
I think we all fear of something, the trick is I believe to try and recognize that fear and deal with it. As for self destructive tenedencies I honestly believe that some use these as a crutch to keep from having to try and maybe fail.

fee
Reviewed by Michael Guy 12/16/2008
"If I knew the answer to this one, I could probably solve 90% of the worlds problems, and become rich in the process."
You sure would! "Self-sabotogee" is a common way of "running from change and responsibilities it brings; it also continuing the self-hate-doubt relationship with yourself. For me, I was prone to this until I realized that the "Spiritual path" doesn't start with religion or "God-experiences" UNTIL we have enough courage to love ourselves enough to change and accept the responsibilities of the new behavior patterns --and leave the old patterns cold!
Still, success can be a long road after that - and that's the test.
But I don't have to tell a tested "old warrior" that truth! ("old" is only figurative)
GREAT article, hope you write more...
Best at this season and always, Mike
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