Is Bond a Giver or Taker? He's giving to his Majesty's Secret Service. He's giving when he risks his life to keep the world safe from a nuclear war, as he often does. He's giving to the women he rescues and he always tips.
There has to be a balance between giving and taking. You should give without being a victim to takers and you should take freely what is offered to you without feeling the obligation to return something directly to that person.
The big problem for those wanting to live the James Bond Lifestyle is when you're in a friendship with a chronic taker and you are a natural giver. One day it hits you that you have been used by this taker for a long time, even years.
When you realize this situation, it's time to stop giving so much and see where that takes the relationship. What usually happens is the taker moves on and attaches himself to other givers and stops trying to take from you. This is a great natural weeding out of this type of person in your life.
Living the JBLS requires you being a natural giver, to evoke the law of circulation and to establish important business and personal relationships. Also, it's great fun to search for and find just the right gift, compliment or experience for that individual person. Are you a giver or taker?
GIVER - TAKER TEST:
When you walk into a room and see someone there, do you think "There you are," as in, "I'm excited to see you," or, "What can I do for you?"
Or, do you think: "Here I am," as in "Cater to me." or "What can you do for me?"
Obviously, yes to the first one, you are a giver. Yes to the second one, you are a taker.
Studies by researchers in this field have said 80% of all men are takers. They will take from everyone all year long and then have one event, like invite everyone out for dinner; then they'll talk about it for the rest of the year while continuing their taking ways. Wow! 80% of all men takers? Ask yourself, "Am I in the rare 20%? And if I'm not, do I want to move up into that group?
The operative word is "up." This is why rule # 13 of the JBLS is "Everyone I meet is better off for the experience."
One thing is for sure: Givers don't understand takers and takers don't understand givers.
I had an exceptional taker friend named XX who would always ask, "Why did you give that gift to MM?" And I would have to explain how MM helped me or was a long time friend.
However, when I gave something to XX, he happily grabbed it with both hands. Also, if he saw something of mine that he wanted, he would hint about it, knowing that I would probably volunteer to give it to him.
XX's "thank yous" were always short and under his breath, so not to infer any obligation to return the favor.
However, I never felt a victim to XX because at that time he was a friend. Later when he became too devious, untrustworthy and secretly slanderous to include him in my movie jobs or personal life, I stopped contacting him and he dropped out of my life.
The interesting thing is that these takers know what they're doing. They know that they're using you. When you get wise to them, they know right away that the jig is up and move out of your life.
Once a particular taker drops out of your experience don't feel that you were victimized by him. You gave to him in the past because you wanted to. As Rocky Balboa would say, "Friends do because they wanna do."
However, if this taker suddenly shows up in your life now asking for something, politely refuse him, because it would take away from you giving that thing, time or money to someone else that is more important to you, not to mention more worthy.
In a love relationship it has been said that, "The man should give 100% to the woman making her give back 200%."
This sounds nice and may be true but then comes the question, "Is my Bond girl a giver or taker? Does she really like me? Love me? Or is she just using me?" To me, the JBLS man's relationship to his Bond girl is a different situation than that with his male friends.
A man often enjoys being the hero to the girl by fixing her problems and giving to her, so he enjoys it, or that she's such an extraordinary experience that she's worth all the giving, even all the hassle.
As Paul Newman said over the phone to his girlfriend in The Color of Money: "My pool playing is good, but I've got no one to give me any grief. Why don't you fly down here and give me some grief?"
Or as Rock Hudson said to Liz Taylor in Giant about her selfish and temperamental ways, "Us Texas like some vinegar in our greens. Gives them flavor."
So if you've got a young Liz Taylor for a Bond Girl, you might consider that her taking and you giving all the time, is worth it. It's all up to you and your point of view and how much you value that particular Bond Girl.
Bottom line: When Bond rescues the girl, he never asks for anything in return; he just takes what they want to give and enjoys it.
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Coming Nov. 6th SPECTRE. Be living the lifestyle by then.