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Stephany Alexander

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Member Since: Apr, 2007

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   Recent articles by
Stephany Alexander

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           >> View all

Affairs: Top 10 Reasons Why Men Have Affairs
By Stephany Alexander   
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last edited: Saturday, January 05, 2008
Posted: Friday, April 13, 2007

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Is your man likely to have an affair? Find out if he displays any of the top 10 reasons why men have affairs.

There are many different kinds of reasons for men to have affairs. Forces such as sexual attraction, companionship, excitement and curiosity can pull men toward affairs. Affairs are often glamorized in movies, romance novels, soap operas, and TV shows. Public disclosure of public figures having affairs is headline news because people are fascinated and titillated by hearing about others' affairs.

Men are bombarded with images of women as sex objects in advertising and marketing campaigns. Over and over, the message to men is that the good life includes a procession of sexy women in their lives. Women inadvertently buy into this image and struggle to achieve it.

The lack of good sex education and the existence of sexual taboos combine to make it difficult to talk honestly about sex. Truly speaking, women seem to be better cheaters than men: they are better at keeping their affairs under wraps and generally have an agenda for their infidelity. Some affairs occur because the cheating parties truly want to leave their established partner, particularly when they are married. However, very few married men leave their wife for their mistress! That is, unless their wife finds out and leaves.

The Bureau of Justice Statistics states that on an average, there are more than three women who get murdered by their husbands or boyfriends every day. If your partner is not willing to seek help for his abusive behavior, your only option is to leave or get divorced. According to an infidelity poll of over 400 women conducted by, love and intimacy is the number one reason why women have affairs, followed by sex, money and finally excitement. The differences in why women and men have affairs are varied with women seeking emotional fulfillment and most men seeking sexual fulfillment.

The top 10 reasons why men have affairs include:

1. More sex (sometimes due to lack of sex in their relationship)
2. Sexual variety through different partners or different sexual experiences
3. Too boost their ego to feel special or still attractive to the opposite sex
4. For the thrill of the chase
5. Opportunistic sex (if the opportunity occurs, they can’t pass it up)
6. To sabotage their current relationship
7. Revenge (to get back at their partner for one reason or another)
8. A feeling of entitlement (the belief they are entitled because they work hard or are the bread winner)
9. Sexual addiction
10.To escape

There is no such thing as a perfect affair. Keeping an on-going affair is a juggling act of covering up lies, explaining time away, and dealing with associated guilt feelings. The cheater becomes consumed by guilt and sometimes lashes out even more at their partner. If you are involved in an affair, respect yourself and your partner enough to get out.

Written by Relationship Expert, Stephany Alexander, B.A., Author, Women's Speaker
Credentials:  Stephany Alexander is the founder of, one of the most popular women's sites on the net (top 5%) receiving millions of hits per month.

* Founder - highest trafficked abused women's message board on the net
* Founder of Largest Online Database of Men in the World
* Author of 'Sex, Lies and the Internet,' A Survival Guide to Online Dating
* Relationship expert on numerous talks shows and call-in radio shows
* Author of over 50 articles on online dating and relationships
* Author of 22 dating and relationship quizzes
* Internet Polling Expert on relationship and dating issues, surveying over 350,000 women in on-line polls
* Creator of 9 women's comedy cartoon e-cards, including one claymation
* Creator of 6 women's online games, one arcade quality

Ms. Alexander is frequently called on by the media as the nation's leading Relationship Expert. Featured on: CNN, CBS, FOX, Sirius Satellite, KROQ, KIIS, Mike & Juliet Show, Good Day Las Vegas, Esquire Magazine, Wall Street Journal, NY Times, and countless radio shows.

Web Site: - World's Largest Database Rating Men

Reader Reviews for "Affairs: Top 10 Reasons Why Men Have Affairs"

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Reviewed by Marie Frabutt 11/28/2010
Men and Women look for any reason to justify having an affair. Just because they think the reason is just, it does not make it so. If you want sex with a different partner then get out of the relationship you are in.

"Don't expect to have you cake and eat it too."
This is just my opinion. The only experience I have is being the wife of a man who wanted another women.
Reviewed by Gerald Tate 2/19/2010
Well written article, But I'd rather have a big steak and french fries.

Gerry Hackenabush Tate
Reviewed by Linda Torrence (Reader) 9/14/2009
I think that a lot of men feel insecure about themselves, even though they might be a top executive in their field of work. They lack self-esteem, even with being at the top of their game and just like the extra attention of someone else to booster their ego! It doesn't matter that they might have an attractive, sexy, attentive wife at home fulfilling their every need, they just want the extra attention of someone different to do it for them.

In fact, some men, because they are powerful at work seem to think that this extra attention is a reward for all that they have achieved and actually deserve it! It will boost their feelings about themselves even more and then they are on a real power trip!

Sometimes being successful can be the downfall of a marriage and the wife, who is doing everything right, is the one that really gets hurt!

Reviewed by Luxie Ryder 12/18/2008
I couldn't agree with the previous poster less. I think expecting to remain monogamous to one partner for the rest of your life is unrealistic. None of us are the people at 40 that we were at 19. Everyone changes and grows. Some grow closer but many develop into different people who want different things. I love romance but I genuinely believe that marriage forces people to conform to a lifestyle they are not designed for. In my opinion, this is why cheating is so common. Very interesting article.
Reviewed by Tankiso Letseli 1/2/2008
Excellent article. However, I would like to raise one or two issues: 1. Man cheat with other women. I often label this act "woman-on-woman" violence. I do not want to blame men's cheating on women, but women play an encouraging role. This might be one of the starting point in addressing the issue of cheating husband. Women who cheat with men play a major role in addressing this problem. Buffer or reject advances from men.
2. I think we need to start addressing this issue of men cheating their wives. We have accepted that there is cheating, but we should now move towards finding a solution for this problem in the interest of the well-being of the of families and society. We need to raise or address the media or governments on these issues for making cheating OK. Sex, cheating, and adultery have been used as means for entertainment, and they tend to attract more viewers.
I am aware that there are many solutions to this problem, and we may need a multi-facet approach to addressing the challenge of cheating.

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