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Stephany Alexander

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   Recent articles by
Stephany Alexander

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Affair: Best Ways to Break Off an Affair
By Stephany Alexander   
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last edited: Saturday, January 05, 2008
Posted: Friday, April 13, 2007

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Are you involved in an affair and want to get out? Find out what the best ways to break off an affair are.

Most people at some point of time have been in relationship when they meet someone who looks like they would be "better" partner. However, marriage includes the expectation of primariness: the assurance of both partners to keeping each other the most important person in their life. Usually couples agree that primariness will include the expectation in which partners promise to have sexual relations with each other only.

Rather than being upset when you see someone who looks more appropriate to you, it is typically a sign that you need to pay more attention to your current relationship. As well, it is likely you or your partner is at a change phase in your relationship. For example, a new job, birth of a child, children launched, or return to school. Affairs are most likely to happen only during these phases in a couple's life cycle.

Sometimes, married couples may fall out of love and grow to dislike one another more than they care to admit. Nevertheless, for a variety of reasons (money, kids, religious beliefs, etc), they remain husband and wife in theory. These types of marriages may certainly lead one or both spouses to seek the comfort of another adult and cheat on one another.

In a troubled relationship, the lure of seeking solace in another often becomes tempting. Simple friendships or working arrangements with the opposite sex can easily turn into a full-blown affair. Despite a spouses attempt to prevent this type of relationship from becoming an extramarital affair, they may find their feelings too powerful to deny and thus give in to their desires to be with this new person. If you are involved in an affair and can’t seem to break it off, the following are a few tips to help you break free.

According to an affair poll of over 500 women conducted by, over 30% of women engaged in an affair said that the affair lasted more than a year, with approximately 25% saying their affair lasted less than 6 months.To gather statistics on affairs is really a difficult task. The results generally varies due to the type of group being studied, the reporting method, and because we know people are lying, even when the research is anonymous. The percentage of those who say they had affairs ranges from 25% to 75% of all males and 15% to 60% of all women.

Here are some of the best ways to break off an affair

• Keep it short. Don’t go into in-depth details about why the affair can’t continue. The simpler and cleaner the break-up is, the better.
• Tell them in person and in public area where a scene is less likely to take place.
• Make it final. Don’t allow your affair partner to think there will be a chance of getting back together.
• Be kind. You want to move past this so you can work on your existing relationship or move on.

Breaking off an affair can be just as difficult as breaking up a marriage depending on if there are emotions involved and how long it has gone on. However, having an affair is never fair to the partner left in the dark. If you have any doubts on breaking off your affair, simply remember the golden rule, “due unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Written by Infidelity Expert, Stephany Alexander, B.A., Author, Women's Speaker
Credentials:  Stephany Alexander is the founder of, one of the most popular women's sites on the net (top 5%) receiving millions of hits per month.

* Founder - highest trafficked abused women's message board on the net
* Founder of Largest Online Database of Men in the World
* Author of 'Sex, Lies and the Internet,' A Survival Guide to Online Dating
* Infidelity expert on numerous talks shows and call-in radio shows
* Author of over 50 articles on online dating and relationships
* Author of 22 dating and relationship quizzes
* Internet Polling Expert on relationship and dating issues, surveying over 350,000 women in on-line polls
* Creator of 9 women's comedy cartoon e-cards, including one claymation
* Creator of 6 women's online games, one arcade quality

Ms. Alexander is frequently called on by the media as the nation's leading Infidelity Expert. Featured on: CNN, CBS, FOX, Sirius Satellite, KROQ, KIIS, Mike & Juliet Show, Good Day Las Vegas, Esquire Magazine, Wall Street Journal, NY Times, and countless radio shows.

Web Site: - World's Largest Database Rating Men

Reader Reviews for "Affair: Best Ways to Break Off an Affair"

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Reviewed by Tanay Das 4/6/2010
The decision about whether to inform the person you cheated on about your affair is of course an intensely personal one. Some people feel that they cannot fully come clean with their conscious unless they tell the person they cheated on exactly what happened. Of course, this course of action in many cases will lead to a complete loss of trust, devastated emotions for all involved, and a breakup of the original relationship. Some people choose to take the secret to their grave, while others choose to tell all. Regardless of the path you choose, you need to come to terms with your decision and then stick to it.

Ending an affair is never easy. But, you may find that doing so is the smartest course of action as you try to heal your mind, body and soul after the experience. Once you have ended your affair, put 100% of your romantic energy into improving the relationship with the person you cheated on. No matter how bad things may seem now, healing between you can happen - I have seen it first-hand.

Reviewed by Tankiso Letseli 1/2/2008
Excellent article. I am wandering if your solution to this problem is not simplistic? It appears that it is difficult to break the habit - particularly among those who are in affairs that are more than a year. Relapsing occurs in some people.
Reviewed by jackie robinson (Reader) 5/8/2007
I don't know how to break away from him.
Reviewed by Aubrey Hammack 4/26/2007
It is hard to break off an affair. I like your suggestions.
Reviewed by Julie Donner Andersen 4/23/2007
As someone once on the receiving end of a spouse's affair, I would have to say that the best way to end an affair is to never start one.

"Despite a spouse(')s attempt to prevent this type of relationship from becoming an extramarital affair, they may find their feelings too powerful to deny and thus give in to their desires to be with this new person."

Oh boo hoo...poor spouse has no self-control so is excused. Yeah, right.

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