Understanding Men: How to Understand Men Better
edited: Saturday, January 05, 2008
By Stephany Alexander
Not "rated" by the Author.
Posted: Friday, April 13, 2007
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Do you understand men? Read this interesting article on how to understand men better.
Over the years, women have had many experiences in trying to understand men. In your quest to understanding men, you will discover that they usually have vague ideas on what they really want or need from a woman. They say one thing and seem to do another. They send mixed messages that often leave you feeling confused and bewildered. Perhaps if women were to start thinking like men, it would make this whole man and woman relationship a whole lot easier. So the next time your man does something that irritates you, try putting yourself in his shoes.
Women have a tendency to lament about problems because they want their problems to be acknowledged, while men complain about problems because they are asking for solutions. These are just a few concepts from the book ‘Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.’ Obviously there are differences between women and men's viewpoints and how they react under stress. Rarely do men think about writing us sweet little love letters or cards or sending us flowers. When you get frustrated with your man about his lack of romanticism, remember that men do not always think like this. They may wonder why their sex lives are not so good but most seem to be lacking the romance gene. The reason for their apparent lack of attention through small gestures is that their idea of "romantic" is different than ours. Share with your guy that you would love to have flowers sent to you at work. Do not sweat it if he does not respond to you immediately. He probably has other things on his mind.
Does men’s lack of romance mean they have less character than women. Absolutely not. However, in an interesting relationship poll of over 500 women conducted by WomanSavers.com, over 40% of women felt that men have much less character and values now than they did five years ago, whereas only 2% believed men’s character had increased.
Does your man seem disinterested when you are trying to talk to him about something vital to you? Do you feel that you two have a problem and you wish to discuss about it? Does your man seem less than excited when you insist you both must talk about the issue right there and then? Men, more often than not, wish to keep their problems to themselves and think about them for a while. It does not mean your man is incapable of communicating with you, it just means that he would rather process the situation before saying anything. More often than not, a man will need to come up with something concrete to say or a specific solution to a problem, rather than just discussing several different options with you.
Though women think about our problems out loud and wish to discuss or talk about every aspect of an issue, does not mean men have to do the same. When it comes to communicating, give your man some space. When he is ready to talk to you about an issue, permit him to approach you. Remind yourself that you are two different creatures and when it comes down to it, men and women have a very different style of communication. Do not be offended when you do not get exactly the response you would expect or desire. Men are not easy to figure out.
The next time you are upset with your guy, try to think about it the way he would. Simply to acknowledge that men think in different ways would lift off a heavy burden from your shoulders. The next time he reacts differently to what you would expect, do not sweat the small stuff. It doesn’t mean that he didn’t care. He just thinks differently than the way you do.
Written by Relationship Expert, Stephany Alexander, B.A., Author, Women's Speaker
Credentials: Stephany Alexander is the founder of www.WomanSavers.com, one of the most popular women's sites on the net (top 5%) receiving millions of hits per month.
* Founder - highest trafficked abused women's message board on the net
* Founder of Largest Online Database of Men in the World
* Author of 'Sex, Lies and the Internet,' A Survival Guide to Online Dating http://www.sexliesandtheinternet.com
* Relationship expert on numerous talks shows and call-in radio shows
* Author of over 50 articles on online dating and relationships
* Author of 22 dating and relationship quizzes
* Internet Polling Expert on relationship and dating issues, surveying over 350,000 women in on-line polls
* Creator of 9 women's comedy cartoon e-cards, including one claymation
* Creator of 6 women's online games, one arcade quality
Ms. Alexander is frequently called on by the media as the nation's leading Relationship Expert. Featured on: CNN, CBS, FOX, Sirius Satellite, KROQ, KIIS, Mike & Juliet Show, Good Day Las Vegas, Esquire Magazine, Wall Street Journal, NY Times, and countless radio shows.