Early morning musing and discoveries.
Itís early in the morning and Iíve been reading as I do in the quiet and solitude of the early morning hours. Itís a time when I can relax and be without the worry or concern of what my day will be. Itís my quiet time, meditative time, and soul time. I discovered years ago the need for this quiet time especially before my day begins. Any time I Ďleave outĒ this special time I find myself out of kilter, you know, off center the rest of the day. I accomplish less and believe it or not I am less creative and have that feeling of being lost.
As the sun begins to rise Iím beginning to see a day with rain, fog, and dark skies. Itís another one of those pre-winter times when I get reminded of the winter ahead. Two months from now this sky would hearken snow instead of rain. That reminds me of the need to change the oil in my snow blower. Ugh, an intrusion of reality into my solitude.
I find it interesting how easily my mind can switch back and forth from what is real and what is fantasy. One moment Iím contemplating the universe black holes and all and the next Iím remembering to put gas in my snow blower. Back and forth in a non-ending cascade of thoughts and emotions even after 40 years of meditative training I can get caught up in the nuisance of everyday thoughts. Reality, what is it really?
Think for a moment of the probability of your being alive on this planet. I mean really think about all the generations before you mixing their DNA here and there sometimes winning and sometimes losing. Imagine how you almost didnít come into existence except for that one determined sperm and that lonely awaiting egg. Which egg would it be? How could it choose the one that became you?
Musings such as this cause me to become more and more appreciative of the mystery of life. What is the difference between being alive and then being dead? What changes and why? Is it an electrical short circuit somewhere that shifts the energy that is you somewhere else? Is it a transfer of potential from one form or being to another? Do we go anywhere or are we still here yet in another dimension? Questions upon questions early in the morning that create more questions upon questions creating so much fodder with so little time to eat.
The sky continues to brighten as I sit in the wonder of just being present here and now. But, am I truly here? Now there is a good question to ponder with not enough time to give it an answer. You would think that with the enormous responsibility of caring for this life Iíve been given I would find the time to answer such a basic question. However, Iím at a loss for an answer to that question. Am I truly here? Am I aware, awake, present, or alert to my being alive or am I a walking, sleeping, sensory deprived soul lost amid all the glitter of this physical world? How about you? Good questions, huh?
Think about being alive, about feeling, about seeking, and about who you are trying to be. The beauty of this quest called life is that once you exhaust all the questions you can think of you will begin to feel. That is where the miracle happens. You cease to think and begin to feel. Now you are on to something real, something that gives answers instead of questions, and delivers to you your soul. Once your soul is discovered and felt deeply you will stop questioning and begin to touch the heart of everyone whose life connects to yours.
All the possible thoughts your can conjure up will not even begin to touch the peace and the true self you will find within this soul. At first, you will meet a stranger, someone with whom you feel a kinship, and someone who will teach you and give you all the answers to all the questions you ever asked. Then, in time you will begin to realize that stranger you first met is you and your life will be transformed forever.
I encourage you to stop thinking and begin to feel. Listen to that Ďstrangerí within and become friends with it. Learn from its teachings and its discourses so that when the time comes and you are overflowing with soul knowledge you will be able to share that soul knowledge and begin to affect others in ways you never imagined. Hmm, the day has begun and I have many feelings to share with my world. In fact, Iíve already begun.