Ever since Will Shakespeare invented the English Language (Oh, yes he did! Before him whatever was called English language was almost incomprehensible) and then sabotaged future generations of writers by stealing and writing almost all original lines that could ever be written, there was not another original thought or line or plot cast on paper since, that in some way or another could not be traced back to him.
So, I decided that, since I could not possibly come up with anything literarily original, I would steal one of his best line back, twist it round a bit and pass it on as my original invention. So, here it is: 2 Blog or Not 2 Blog; that is the quandary…
Now, shoot me if you like for blasphemously using one of his most quoted lines…
I’ve done it before with my book’s title: Jew Be or Not Jew Be, and got away with it, so why should I not try it again? Who cares? After all I am just a bloody foreigner to the English language, I could pretend that I never heard of the line before. (I would hazard a guess that a vast majority of English speaking natives never heard of it either and even if they did, they could not attribute it to the Bard, after all who is paying any attention to a classic in today’s English/American/Australian educational system? All they can quote is Eminem, or another rapper, or perhaps a line from the Koran; anything else might be considered an offence against political correctness.)
Now that I got the title to this Blog, I better come up with a plausible explanation why am I using it and what is it that I want to say.
Not so long ago, I would not have known what the hell a Blog was. In many ways I still don’t quite know what blogging is all about. Like so many “innovations” to the English language it crept in quietly through cyberspace into the “New Dawn Literary” conscience from a lazy misspelling and mispronunciation and fusion of two words: Web Log; just one of a long line of almost meaningless technological jargon that comes flooding into the language from computer savvy nerds.
Since nobody seems to be able to come up with anything original in the literary sense, all the innovations seem to come from the gutter to revert the language back into the incomprehensible.
Blogs are now the new rage on the Internet. Everyone is doing it from common o’garden whores, pole-dancers, gay activists, politicians, to scientists and multinational corporations.
So, I am joining the crowd. Why not? If in the process I am murdering the language, I am going to blame it on the Bard; after all he started this innovation game, honed it to perfection and killed all incentives to keep the language pure and intact…
I resisted and even resented the trend of blogging… but since paper publishing is slowly but surely being overtaken by e-publishing (another new innovative cyber-word!) and Blog and Blogging are becoming synonymous with literary excellence (Oh, Tempora, Oh mores!) why should I – a bloody foreigner to the English language - shun the opportunity to take my frustration of not being able to pronounce my words correctly out on the written language and try to murder it best way I can.
So, the answer to my quandary: 2 Blog or Not 2 Blog is: yes, I will!
U may yet c a nu stile emerging from the keystrokes of a frustrated foreign wannabe writer 4 I don’t wannabe no different from no other accredited literati… so there!
I shall blog to my heart’s content… but I’ll be merciful to this community… Like a punter to a whore, I shall go and do my blogging in other “Cyber Blogging Whorehouses”, maybe even incognito, whilst I shall occasionally do a bit of “flashing” with my literary dirty mac and expose my web links to other pages.
So here is a start for you bloggers! If you want to see what I am doing in the cover of darkness in ill lit cyber alleyways, go and check it out here: www.how2trade4profit.com/blog
This is just the beginning… I’ll be cyber whoring in other cyber-blogging whorehouses…
So watch out!…
© P. J. Oszmann
Ps. Just to prove to you all that I mean business, I am posting this article in my Blog here at AD as well.