Scott has a conversation with heaven...
Energy, Food, Love and my Spirit Guides
This week it seems like I have been in a funk of sorts. Lots of my personal energy was expended on different dramas happening in life. Sometimes you think you are above them…and most the time I am able to see through these illusions of life and living…but this week did a number on me.
No sense in bringing up all the different nuances of the dramas that occurred but to me I felt somewhat overwhelmed by them. It seemed that I was all out of sorts and not in alignment with my Higher Self and with love.
On top of all of that I am teaching a class on Spiritual Guides and how to contact and interact with them and I have not been able to hear much from heaven during this time. It was beginning to frustrate me and make me feel like something was wrong…I just didn’t know how to put my finger on it.
I had read an article recently that addressed this issue and it made sense to me. Interesting how the article came into my awareness when I most needed it…no coincidence here.
Anyway, this article spoke about the idea that when things were not working the way we wanted them to work, we should ask ourselves the question… “What’s wrong and how can this be better?” After praying this prayer we are then to get quiet and let our Higher Self speak to us about it and give us a higher perspective of things we perceive.
Most of us ask for help during these times, and there is certainly no problem asking for help during times of need…I do it quite frequently. Your God and spiritual guides are always there to help you…however…the prayer is mis-guided in a way…because it is a given that Spirit will help us whenever we call or need it.
Most of us wonder what’s wrong with life, things, relationships, events that are taking place, but we don’t really ask what’s wrong…instead we ask questions like “Why is this happening to me?” This often comes from a feeling of victimhood, rather than from really wanting to know what is wrong, and how it can be rectified.
Anyway, last night I was ready to retire and talking to my wife in bed when I started to voice my complaints to her. One of the complaints was that I was not feeling in sync this last week with my soul, or with love. I didn’t like this feeling of mis alignment, for I know what it feels like to be in alignment.
I told her, that to “top it all off” I was teaching a workshop on contacting and interacting with our spiritual guides, and my guides were quite silent lately…and this bothered me. It seemed ironic to me that here I was the teacher of a class, and yet I could not even seem to get much out of my guides…or so…it seemed to my human perception.
She sympathized with my internal pain and began to encourage me to keep my focus and not get discouraged. She did a masterful job, but I was not ready to be consoled and felt better just complaining to her…venting my feelings to my beloved.
I went to sleep still feeling isolated and left out in a way from being able to communicate to my guides and hear from heaven like I have heard in the past.
This morning upon awaking it was like my whole attitude was adjusted and I felt a renewed zest for life…in spite of recent developments and supposed setbacks in other aspects of life. I felt an encouragement deep within my being…a rest, repose and renewing of my spirit had taken place while I slept.
The bog and fog I was feeling…seemingly disappeared as I was at rest in sleep. It was the first time in a few weeks I was feeling more normal…however that felt.
I decided to go into meditation and as I did immediately I could feel my beloved spirit guides and the presence of love enveloping me…caressing my being. I began to cry with tears of joy streaming down my face. It felt like an inward renewing that happened as I slept. My spirit inside felt renewed and refreshed, and I had a renewed feeling of connection…what a breath of fresh air…I thought.
Then I heard my spirit guides began to speak to me. I have at least two that I am aware of…Gwendolyn and Joseph…and I asked a question of Gwendolyn first…I asked her… “Why is it when I see her in my minds eye do I see her always standing on my left side as I faced her”?
She said to me… “Left is right, and right is left”. Then I got the picture in my mind that she was referring to left brain and right brain function. Joseph on the other hand seems to appear to me in my minds eye as usually standing on the right side as I face him. I then had the thought of Yin and Yang and how energies must be balanced. Both male and female energy is necessary in order to be balanced or aligned in life.
Then Gwendolyn spoke to me about my recent request and prayer to be more sensitive to energy and its subtleties. I had forgotten about this. I was asking Spirit that I be made more aware of energies from things, people, events, and situations that occurred. I realized that everything is energy in some form or another, whether it is physical or non-physical.
Anyway, Gwendolyn reminded me of this intent and prayer of my soul to be more aware of energies…and to be more sensitive to them. She said that I felt overwhelmed when I felt all the nuances of energy coming into my life, even though this is what I prayed for.
She said that what was happening was that I was being made more aware of the energies of life around me and that because of this new awareness I was picking up on all the nuances of it, but I was allowing it to overwhelm me, and that I was not accustomed to feeling this sensitive before, thus I was feeling drained of my personal energy.
I then prayed a new prayer that I would stay sensitive to energies, whether human or non-human, but that I would know what to do with these energies when affronted by them. I asked for wisdom on how to handle the increased energy I was feeling. She told me that it would take practice in learning to handle the increased sensitivity but that eventually it would seem more normal as I was aware of it.
My out of “sorts” feelings were actually a deeper sensitivity to this energy around me.
I felt so much better having knowingness about this prayer I had forgotten I prayed for. The light bulb was turned on inside and I began to thank Gwendolyn for this information being conveyed to me. Now I had a deeper understanding of why my feelings seemed so disjointed lately.
Then I realized that I internalized these disjointed feelings and projected them upon my beloved spirit guides and felt there must have been something in me that caused this feeling of non-connection with them. I had to forgive myself for projecting my ego onto them in blaming them for not being as close to me as they were before…or so it seemed.
I realized my love was not perfected fully, and that I still laid blame on myself or others, including my spirit guides for not helping me when I needed them the most.
Then Gwendolyn spoke some deeper truth to me and she said… “You do this with food too Scott”. Food to you is a comfort, food is your friend when you feel left out, you seek food in order to fill you up, and that what I really sought from a deeper level was love”.
She told me that instead of turning my focus on love, I had practiced turning to food instead. Food would always make me feel better when things were not going my way, or when I felt out of sorts, she said.
She told me that there… “Was no sin in it, just to refocus my attention on the love inside of me instead”? She told me to ask myself a question every time I was tempted to eat food, by asking myself, “Why am I wanting to eat right now”? “Do I really crave food for foods sake or for loves sake”?
I realized right then that I still had some work to do inside of me that was wanting to be healed. I realized that I was still seeking love from alternate and substitute sources, rather than from Source-God.
I ended this beautiful time with my guides with asking for more healing in these areas I had never questioned before. I asked that I would come to know the real, unconditional love of God in ways I was not presently aware of.