After struggling with the challenges of being the best friend ever to all my friends I celebrate the secret of friendship dynamics.
Every Woman’s Pantry
There is one thing that every woman has, a pantry! Though they may vary in sophistication ,make and style, be it a walk-in pantry or two shelves over a counter, it still is a pantry. Here she stores raw material to prepare food for herself and her family, thus ensuring that life is sustained.But every woman has an even more personal pantry: A pantry of friends- a collection of human influences which ensures that her life is sustained. Some make the terrible mistake of expecting to have one all-purpose friend who meets their every need and in so doing destroys very good relationships with unrealistic expectations. The sooner women free themselves of the responsibility of being or finding that ‘one-true -friend’, life becomes more tasteful and fulfilling.In every pantry there are some basic items including raising agents, spices , preservatives, sweeteners and of course the staples. You will find raising agents such as yeast, baking powder, baking soda, to name a few, and so it is in your friendship pantry. Every woman needs someone who, though there friendship may be applied in small doses, will give them the lift they need to go through life. Their influence, though dramatic, is not considered a staple product and is always used in small portions.Do you have such a friend yet struggle with the guilt of not wanting to share on a consistent basis with him or her? Do you struggle with feeling that you have used such a friend? You may have felt insignificant in the life of a friend, only called on when he or she is down. Don’t despair for that may be your small but indispensable, meaningful role in that relationship.Yet another pantry item you dare not run out of is salt. Again this item is used in small quantities and it blends in with other major components. The great part it plays in the finished product is often forgotten, and yet it is known to bring out otherwise hidden flavors.Some friends are the salt in our lives; working in the background, they blend into your experience without much notice, but accentuate some of your finer qualities. Should you attempt to pull them out to the forefront or increase the quantity of their contribution to your life, your experience may become distasteful and or as they say in Jamaica, ‘corned’.Do not spoil a good relationship. Accept those friends or be that kind of friend to others, knowing that this too is an awesome role.Then there is the ever-popular item, sugar. This sweetener is naturally accepted and craved by almost everyone. It is exciting and can be depended on for a rush of energy. It can also be considered to be a preservative as seen in jams and jellies. Do any of your friends fit this role? They can be depended on to preserve your sanity with the sweetness of their humor and light heartedness. They make you laugh and always make obvious the bright side of life. Without them life would be drab and boring. This role is a popular and exciting one, usually accompanied with much recognition. Another attribute of these ‘sugar’ friends, is the ability to inhibit the growth of despondency and negativism with their optimistic nature and keep you inspired and bubbly. However even this friendship if applied in excess can result in drunkenness and an unrealistic approach to life.Finally, staple items like flour can be depended on for a wide cross section of preparation modes and uses; from binding agents in stews and gravies to major component in cakes and pastries. It can be boiled, baked or fried. Even if sifted it always ‘comes through’ for you. Staple friends are those who play a major role in defining your very existence. They are there through thick and thin and stick close when waters of disappointment and grief ravish your soul; they bind your very being together when you think you are about to fall apart. Note however, that on its own flour has no flavor and with a puff of wind may be blown away; similarly even ‘staple’ friends have their intrinsic limitations.Really, it takes all that is in your pantry to yield the truly beautiful experiences that go into making you uniquely special. Don’t waste time trying to make or become an ‘all-purpose’ friend; you could be at the losing end!