With great hesitation, I watched as they created my dating profile. A picture taken from earlier was uploaded to the site, and the seat swiveled around toward me. All that was missing were the essential details of who I was, but how can I describe who I really am?
And the next day, the inbox was full. Men of various ages and locations wanted to know me, but were they who they say they are? And do I take the chance to open that door and let them in, but what if their profiles were fiction? And once allowed into my life, they would never leave.
And my finger pauses over delete. My eyes scan over their messages and then run over their profiles, trying to read in-between the lines. But only a slight few seemed genuine, and the rest were quickly discarded. But still I hesitate to open that door.
My last relationship was five years ago. It did not end well, and to this day, he refuses to let go. He follows me around and around the cyber world, but he knows better than to come to my home. And no more would I repeat my words to him that it was over, we were done, and I was leaving for greener pastures. Someone with half a brain would have received the message, but obviously he did not get the memo. And my door slammed closed, preventing those like him from touching my life again, so do I really want to reopen it?
And I stare at the pictures of men before me. Are they white knights to sweep me off my feet and keep me safe? Would they share my life with me or break it apart? Would they love me, or would their love burn me like I’ve been burned in the past? And I really did not want to take this route, but here I am sitting before an internet dating site and staring at potentials that could or would change my life again. And my hand rests against the door.