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Political Rumors
By William J Neven
Rated "PG13" by the Author.
Last
edited: Sunday, March 21, 2004
Posted: Sunday, March 21, 2004
With the election soon upon us, we all knew this was coming. The following is a list of some more recent ones that have been making the rounds. Some have been shown to be true; others false and still others which have yet to be verified...
1: NOT true - California will hold a referendum next year to secede and - if successful - Arnold will be named its first president!
2: Maybe - John Kerry is having botox treatments on his eyes.
3: True - After accusing Kerry of always changing his mind, VP Dick Cheney [who had said the gay civil union/marriage issue should be left up to each individual state] announced he stood behind The President's Gay Bashing Amendment and thereby deny them equal rights as other Americans - even though his very own daughter is a devout lesbian!
4: NOT true - Condoleeza Rice doesn't always talk like that.
5: Maybe - Ralph Nader doesn't support any body on any thing.
6: True - Since we've had our own nicknames for past Presidents [i.e. Tricky Dicky, Slick Willy, etc.], some Britons are believed to have come up with one of their own for our current President. [It's "That Bloody Bush!"]
7: NOT true - Bush's new planned economic program for US manufacturers is, 'America! Love it or leave it!'
8: Maybe - The price of tomatoes will skyrocket if Kerry is elected President!
9: NOT true - The U.S. Treasury Department issued the President a personal ATM card.
10: NOT true - Al Gore invented The Internet.
11: True - George Bush was the first President to invent a war.
12: NOT true - Alexander Haig has Alzheimer's. [He's always been like that.]
13: Maybe - The Bush marketing team is trying to change the term "outsourcing" to "economic enhancement for businesses".
14: Maybe - Someone's been yelling during rallies at Kerry's wife, "That's some tomato!"
15: NOT true - Kerry's latest slogan is, "Kerry is so very -"
16: NOT true - Saddam Hussein's skimming of UN food monies is responsible for three million North Koreans starving to death since 1990.
17: NOT true - In this 'axis of evil', Saddam did not try to gain support from Iran and North Korea like Hitler did from Mussolini and Stalin in WWII. [Besides - unlike Germany - Iraq hadn't invaded any other country in years.]
18: NOT True - Kim Jong II is not known by his subordinates in North Korea as "Fearless Leader".
19: True - These have become the latest 'dumbest things' said by US Presidents ~
[a] "Read my lips! No new taxes!" George Bush, The First
[b] "I did not have sex with that woman!" Bill Clinton
[c] "Bring 'em on!" George Bush, The Second
20: True - With Spain now against the US Invasion of Iraq - as FRENCH Fries have become known as Freedom Fries -
some of its terminologies have changed. For example, SPANISH OMELETTES are now to be known as 'Liberty Omelettes'; A SPANISH ONION is heretofore to be called an 'United Onion'; SPANISH MOSS [thanks in part possibly to the influence of Gov. Jeb Bush in Florida where it grows off the branches of trees in abundance] is now to be termed, 'Bush Moss'. [Now aren't you glad you asked?] As for SPANISH FLY - well, anyone have any suggestions???
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