The latest fad is to make a "life list" of things you want to do before you die. There are bestselling books like "1000 Places to Visit Before You Die" and "1000 Things to Do Before You Die" and everyone's who's anyone has such a list. In their new movie, The Bucket List, Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman go through a list of things they want to do before they kick the bucket and it’s doing great box office, despite the morbid subject. I think it's more important to make a Non-Bucket List. Some things are absolutely overrated and just a waste of time, especially considering you want to do them BEFORE YOU DIE – time's running out, after all. As a valuable contribution to this fad, I offer a list of………. Drum roll……ta dah!.......... TEN THINGS NOT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE 1. Rodeo Drive and Beverly Hills is cheesier than you pictured it. Everyone’s gone to Malibu. If you take the movie star home tour, you’ll drive by houses owned by Lucille Ball and Clark Gable. 2. German takes forever to learn and no one speaks it. 3. The first and last Rocky movies are okay: don't bother seeing the ones inbetween. 4. Your class reunion will disappoint you. She or he (you know, the ONE) won’t be there and the prom king and queen will still manage to rule the day. 5. The Bates Method, which has you doing exercises in order to see without your glasses, doesn't work even though Aldous Huxley tried it too. 6. Lake Michigan is really too cold for swimming. 7. Taking the kids to pick apples or pumpkins is a waste of time. The actual picking takes about five minutes and they whine all the way to the farm. 8. Society weddings are not as much fun as weddings of low class people. 9. James Joyce's Ulysses is almost like translating Medieval English and just as tedious. 10. Don't bother going to see "The Thing In the Desert" between Tucson and Phoenix. It’s not scary at all.