How Much More Can I Stand??? Please Keep Me In Prayer! :(
edited: Saturday, February 25, 2006
By Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
Rated "G" by the Author.
Posted: Friday, February 24, 2006
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Problems. Problems. And MORE problems. ARGGGGH!!!!
How much more can I stand? I thought it said in the Bible that God gives you only so much to bear. If so, then He must be angry at me or something because life for me now is not good AT all.
For starters, I have started my new job, but instead of doing what I want, they have me doing dishes. I am finding out just how physically demanding it is (I DID dishes at Golden Corral, but this is a much bigger place, and I can't keep up!!). Some of my co--workers are demanding for me to keep up, but I CAN'T, and it got to the point yesterday where I nearly decked one of them. He was getting on my LAST nerve--and that nerve was quickly starting to unravel!
Thank GOD my trainer had the presence of mind to have me do some silverware; if he hadn't, there was fixin' to be a rumble. I came thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis close to decking the jerk! (The co-worker, NOT my trainer!)
I also have been pulling in aeven hours at a stretch, five days a week, and it is too much for my arthritic body to handle. I am on my feet, yes, but I am constantly in motion, and there are distractions to deal with. I can't focus on the task at hand, and I am just plain TIRED!! I am NOT used to working full-time!!
I am seriously thinking of calling in to Fire Mountain today and telling them I am not able to work today because I strained my back yesterday, and my back is killing me (which it IS). I am either going to have to get less hours or at least a day less because full time is something that I am NOT used to!! I am used to part-time, and I am used to doing silverware, NOT dishes!!
Being disabled and not having a car (and also being over forty), jobs are very hard to come by. I am grateful to Fire Moutnain for giving us a chance, but right now we both feel that we are failing miserably and are going to end up getting fired!
Also, daddy has been in the hospital--he finally had his surgery that they postponed three times--twice for pneumonia, once for an infection; he did GREAT!--, but he still has a slight case of pneumonia, and they won't release him until the pneumonia is gone. He may end up going to a rehabilitation hospital to reteach him how to walk because he has mostly been in bed the last three weeks, and he's weak. Daddy is also 75, has diabetes and COPD. He sometimes uses oxygen.
More frustrations. I am tired of worrying about him, and I wish he'd get better! I don't want to go to Ohio for fear of facing our two older sisters who treated us cruelly most of our lives (and still do; we haven't talked to one another in sixteen years). They treated us badly growing up, and they have said some hurtful things to both Karla and myself that nearly drstroyed me (and her). I have tried to forgive them (as any good Christian should), but it is awfully hard, and whenever I think what was said at mom's burial, I still cry. It was beyond cruel: it was EVIL.
Karla and myself nearly committed suicide, but God had the Grace and Mercy to keep us from making that desperate mistake. We are still here, but we are failing miserably at life, and we are just sick and tired of being tired and frustrated!!
WHEN is life going to turn around for us? We have had to prove ourselves all our growing up years ("You'll never amount to anything" among other mean comments were commonplace; we were both born very premature, and they didn't expect us to accomplish much in life; they coddled and overprotected us, which was a big mistake on their part), and it seems that each time we DO get ahead, smoething always comes up and knocks us down; we then have to struggle to climb out of this hellhole called life.
As I said in the beginning, God must be happy at us being unhappy. We don't see much hope now in our lives, and it's gotten to the point to where I don't even want to pray anymore. I don't want to give up on God (that'd be stupid to do!), but WHEN is He going to cut us both a break?? We are tired, and we are ready to snap!!
PLEASE, PLEASE pray for us! We could really use a miracle right now (hopefully in the next several days!!)!
Thank you for listening.
~Love, your friend, Karen Lynn The Texas Tornado. :( >tears<
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|Reviewed by Ch'erie de Perrot
I realize this is a late reply and I wish I'd seen this at the time, but I'm seeing it now, and it really strikes a chord within me.
I've often felt the way you express yourself here, more times than I care to count. I have no doubt I will again sometime in the future..
If I could just offer some encouragement for you today, as I know that some or many of the issues here written about, still are a concern to you. God does not give us what we cannot handle, yes this is most true. Thing is, we as Humans, think we can only handle a certain amount, and then it's enough..God see's us so differently, he see's us through our hearts, and through the eye's of his Son Jesus who endured so much for us, who intercedes for us daily.
When we think we have had enough, and feel like we are at the end of it all, more strength, more love, more of everything is alloted to us..You're still here, still writing, n beautiful writing at that!!
So when you look back at where you've been, what you've been through, it truly is amazing, and you can see where he has been Holding you up during those trying and traumatic times. It's like fastracking our lives, and I often am almost amused at some things myself.It feels so...surreal, looking back down the track, and I think to myself " Did I go through that"? Seriously!! Have No idea how" Then I remember promises, and believe even more.
That's how God works, isn't he wonderful??
I think so and I know you do too, you precious Lady, precious friend.
Love yah muchly..
My Hubby has COPD, related to Abestos inhalation off the work sites yrs ago, He is suffering so much all the time, and I wonder how he gets through each day..He amazes me, and inspires..Oh Mate, Think I should write about it..
Your Friend in Aussie
|Reviewed by Jibril Mohamed
|This is a very sad condition for a great friend and a fellow poet. However, no one is destined to live in harship forever. There is light at the end of the tunnel. There are one important thing that you need to take very seriously. YOU ARE AS STRONG AS EVERYONE ELSE. YOU ARE A HUMAN BEING WITH EXCEPTIONAL ABILITIES. No matter what others say to you, there is something that tells me that you will overcome this difficulty. All of us feel bad when we look at our weaknesses and inability to find a way out. But let me assure you that change is an ingredient of life and things will change for you for better. In my own example, my mother had 10 children, but only three, including myself survived. They all died due to malnutrition-lack of adequate food and medical treatment. Finally, she lives in her dream life. Life was terrible before she turned 50, but now she is enjoying it.
I am sory to hear about your sad state of affairs. Please be patient and never get upset for God. Everything is happening for a reason.
Thank you sister Karen.
|Reviewed by Gwendolyn Thomas Gath
"How Much More Can I Stand??? Please Keep Me In Prayer! :( "
Continue holding onto to your beliefs friend. Many reviews here that I also agree with Jackie, Peter I certainly believe these words are true.Clinging to the Lord is best vice running away.
Believing for you, continued love and enlightenment,
|Reviewed by Jackie (Micke) Jinks
|Dear Friend Karen - thought I had commented on this earlier, but found I hadn't. My sincere hopes are that you have gotten past this doubtful part in your life. ALWAYS believe in yourself (as those here at AD do!), that is what matters. What I have learned in my many years is that every "setback" happens for a reason, if only to make us stronger and more forgiving of others.
Keep smiling...and make the doubtful wonder what your up to! :o)
|Reviewed by MaryGrace Patterson
|Dear Karen,, Hang on and never, never give up! Some times we are all faced with problems. It seems you and Karla have had more than your share. You have been given the gift of writing, which some never experience. GO FOR THE GOLD !!!! Good luck ! Life isn't easy , but it's livealbe........M , Thanks for your kind review.|
|Reviewed by Mary McCoy-Dressel
|Oh, Karen, I just read this and see you wrote it in February! I so hope things have turned around for you. Please don't give up on God. I will say a prayer for you, even though it's well past February. Hang in there, things will get better.
|Reviewed by Ronald Hull
|Sorry that you are struggling so. My world changed dramatically after I was paralyzed and everyone started perceving me "differently". You've had to deal with that all your lives.
I fought depression and climbed the ladder of sucess until divorce, debt, and demotion brought me down after I lost physical function. I got help from DARS (not God) and turned my life around. You can too. Sympathy will only help a moment. A good plan will get you through.
|Reviewed by Peter Njenga
|Nice work. Do check out my work and look forward to reading your reviews and comments.
|Reviewed by H. Lena Jones
I once heard a preacher say, "If you want to have a miracle, you gotta have a problem.If you don't have a problem, you can't have a miracle." He also said that the many people in the Bible who were healed, had a problem. I agree with him. So, do not despair, Karen, just ask God to help you. But remember, don't tell Him how to fix the problems, just ask Him to. Expect miracles after that. God Bless you!
|Reviewed by m j hollingshead
|Hopefully things are beginning to even out a bit, I see you wrote this in February. Trying to work in stress is a miserable situation at best. How on earth did you come to be in Texas from Mansfield?|
|Reviewed by Franz Kessler
|May you be blessed, and may the excess of worries end. Life can often be descibed as torture, and it is tough going for so many of us. The only thing i know is that there are reasons for everything that happens, and i can sometimes only find consolation in prayers when the world looks too dark. Try to do as good as you can, and keep your spiritual roots nourished. Best regards, love, Franz|
|Reviewed by Michelle Kidwell Power In The Pen
|The Lord will see you through this
|Reviewed by Aberjhani
|And so I pray for Karen and Karla: that in each moment henceforth you are able to recognize and celebrate Divine Goodness flowing into your life through all things and experiences, no matter appearances to the contrary. I pray that this Divine Good keep you safe from malicious intent even as it expands your sense of well-being and daily increases the power of your faith, the substance of your prosperity, and healing grace of your joy. With love and sincerity,
|Reviewed by Sandie Angel
|Karen and Karla:
I so sympathize with you two. I know there aren't too many jobs now out there. The Canadians are facing the job loss as well. During this time, the employers are really taking advantage of the ones who are still working. It does not matter what types of jobs one has, we feel like we are being taken advantage of. Chores are more than we can take, and we are expected to work our asses just because they gave us our jobs and take us for granted that we should be happy and thankful that we still have our jobs.
The moral of the employers are extremely low now. I'm working in a high-powered office, and I, myself is also a high-powered poerson in the office, but I often feel stressed to the extreme, and the same scenario applied to our jobs as well. This is happening everywhere.
I hope you and Karla will do well. Please do not let anyone get on your nerve. (I know this is difficult) Have peace of mind while you do your work, and tell yourself that you can do it! Be confident! Never think less of yourselves just because you think you are disabled doesn't necessary make you so.
First thing you'll have to do is to think of yourselves being just as good as the others, and don't let anyone steps on you. Be calm and confident. Tell yourselves that the dishes are a constant flow of work, and it is always going to be there. You are doing great!!!...and so is Karla!!! Do not allow yourselves to feel pity for yourselves just because you think you have disabilities. You are just as good!!! It is not yours and Karla's fault that the restaurant is becoming busier and more dishes need to be washed. The owner should be happy about the business.
I know you are very emotional because of your Dad as well, so I will be praying for you both, and as well as your Dad.
Keep well, and take care.
((((( Love and Hugs )))))
Sandie May Angel a.k.a. Sandie Angel :o)
|Reviewed by Birgit and Roger Pratcher
|Karen! Pleaaaaase hang in there! Things MUST be getting better, we know they will!!! Of course you and Karla will always be in our prayers and be sure, a LOT of people here in the Den do love you both!!God has not left you or forgotten about you, we are sure of it, His love is always with you! Be strong, just a little while longer! Lots of love and many, many hugs, Birgit and Roger|
|Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
|Oh I know it must be hard on you but hey...keep the faith and Deck the next bastard that makes your day bad....use a pan...or a soupspoon...one of those with the long handle so you can reach him on a long distance........lol!!
Sorry to read about your stress...I am also on the edge...and need that spoon and pan at the same time..Wha-teng...both ears at one go...I WISH!!
|Reviewed by Sandy Knauer
|(((Karla))) Add me to the list of people who understand your pain, and wish I could take away your unhappiness. I am also disabled, living on a disability income that barely covers the rent, and dealing with a sick mother and family problems. So I definately understand where you are coming from. Fortunately for me, I don't suffer depression or the weight of religion, so I am able to enjoy life. I can't respond to your request for prayer, because I believe the power is within each of us to make the difference we need in our lives, but I'm sending you lots of love and positive energy. Hope it helps.|
|Reviewed by Peter Paton
|The depression that both you and Karla are experiencing just now is a temporary thing, Satan will try any device to put distance between us and Almighty God !
Don't stop praying, and don't stop believing Karen and Karla, I have prayed for yous now, and I believe you will see and get that miracle within those few days you talked about...:)
Love and Blessings
|Reviewed by Bobbi Duffy
|Karen, I felt every word you said. I too am disabled, and well over 40. I know how hard it is to find and keep a job. I have arthritis and fibromyalgia so I know the kind of pain you're in. I can no longer drive and use an electric wheel chair to get around. I live on a very small disability income that leaves little for me after the rent is paid.
I know at times I myself felt that God was punishing me for something I did and couldn't figure out what it was. But then I realized that God was not picking on me, he was trying to teach me that I couldn't do everything myself. I had to rely on his wisdom in all matters. I learned to accecpt where I was before I could go on. Slowly, I moved forward. I started tutoring, which not only gave me a little money, but began to rebuild my self-esteeme. I spent the last week going from store to store on the main drag near my apartment (make that room with a bathroom)to apply for jobs. I know that the job will come when God thinks I'm ready and when it will be the right job.
I will certainly keep you in my prayers and ask God for a miracle for you and Karla.
|Reviewed by Mr. Ed
|WHEN is life going to turn around for us?
I hope very very soon, Karen - and you and your Twink are always in your AD Family's thoughts and prayers.
|Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
Know you're in my heart, my thoughts, my prayers, always. We'll make it somehow, with God's grace and goodness. I'll always be here for you, don't fear.
((((HUGS)))) and love, Karla.