Become a Fan
I saw God the other day
And the “dirty devil”
They were in the park playing Frisbee golf
Did I forget to mention that Jesus was there?
Well he was!
We sat and had a long talk
He was telling me that he’s like an older brother
“a mentor, Jesus?” I surmise
and with a wink and a pat on the knee he said
“yes, just like that a mentor but more on the brotherly side of things so don’t
feel so uncomfortable sitting on my lap ok guy?”
“Ah Jesus, im still a little uncomfortable. You see I never had an
older brother and to be honest I… well would think that
if I did have an Older brother which I don’t that I wouldn’t be sittin
on his lap or stroking his beard. Would you mind if I stopped
stroking your beard Jesus?”
With this Jesus’s mood changes and
he looks a little sullen. Me being the humanitarian
that I am I ask my sweet savior if I did something that
“my son er I mean lil brother er I mean
ah my mentoree, you didn’t do anything wrong its just that
Jesus likes it when u stroke his beard it puts his mind at ease
You follow? So when you want to stop that makes Jesus
Sad. You don’t want to make Jesus sad do you?”
“Well God NO Jesus, I would never want to
do that. Never ever ever”
“You don’t mind if I call you my son then do you?”
“of course not Jesus”
“good well then my son, whew its getting hot out
here after were done er talking you go over and thank
God for such a beautiful day…ok?”
“aww Jesus cmon do I have to?”
“Johnny you better go over and thank God for such
a beautiful day, when we are done talking that is”
“ah Jesus…alright ill thank god”
“Good boy Johnny, now keep stroking Jesus’s beard
that’s it, nice and slow mmhmm very good
very good boy you are Johnny.
You make jesus
feel so good. You know that?
Well you do
Oh Yeah, Yeah that’s it that’s the spot ah huh yeah
Keep going don’t stop yeah oh you sinner
Ah god u dirty little sinner mmmhhm
yeah ah YEAH AHHH YEAAAHH!”(jesus whole body shakes and a
bright white light emanates from his robe)
“Oh Johnny (out of breath) oh what a good boy
Now you get down from Jesus lap and go say thank you to god
For this glorious day ok?
Hey ask him how long he is going to be? I got shit to do.”
With that my talk with Jesus ended
And I haven’t heard from him since.
Too be honest I’m a little upset that
He hasn’t called or anything.
Hey if any of you out there see him
Could you do me a favor and tell him to call John Reilly
He has the # thanks- JR