It is the serendipity of paradox that creates the sacred spiritual wonder that supports individual awakening to enlightenment that enables healing and recovery.
Touchstone Life Coaching with A.J. Mahari
Enlightenment is many things. It is even more specifically many different things to each and every individual. Awakening to your own personal enlightenment involves choosing to actively seek to expand and nurture a growing awareness. An awareness that seeks to breathe within and from the rich paradox of serendipitous synchronicity.
Enlightenment, for the individual, begins with the serendipity of paradox. Paradox, the seemingly contradictory to all that might otherwise be held as opinion. Paradox will show you that pain is not all-bad and that its opposite is not all-good. Paradox, the experience, in this case, of pain as neither good or bad but rather as valid, important, and meaningful with purpose is the difference between choosing to be aware in ways that can enlighten or choosing to merely exist within the fear and the one-sided spiritual darkness of pain held out negatively as polarized and unwanted.
The bridge that I found in my recovery process between the past and the here and now, between a life lost to the core wound of abandonment and all of its subsequent psychological trauma and a life not ruled, controlled, or lived in or from those past abandonment issues and the fear that they produce, was not only my faith but a willingness to risk trusting the serendipity and synchronicity of my life's experience.
When one makes a conscious choice to engage a healing process all the way through to recovery then personal enlightenment bursts forth in a way that astoundingly and consistently makes it possible and rewarding to be a seeker, even when it hurts.
Pain is not negative. Pain is not a bad thing. Emotional pain, just like physical pain is a warning signal that something is out of balance. Pain is not negative. What can be negative and trapping about emotional pain is continuing to choose a patterned and polarized way of perceiving and/or experiencing it.
Abandonment issues from childhood - abandonment trauma - is very painful. But, each and every time that pain is encountered, is felt and makes it way to your conscious awareness it is really an incredible gift. A gift that beckons you to be aware of it, to engage it, and to be grateful for it.
When we are young, and growing up, and we are being wounded - when we suffer the psychological trauma of abandonment it produces fear, it demands to be defended against. Entrenched patterns and attitudes develop. Patterned ways of avoiding the pain at all costs really only perpetuate the pain and cause it to be re-lived over and over again. The pain cannot go away until it is addressed, acknowledged, faced, felt, given voice, and grieved.
The pain must first serve its purpose. When that purpose is realized, the lessons, insight, and awareness gained will exhaust the need for that pain.
Then it not only goes a way but each individual experiences the empowerment of enlightenment that clears the way for the active disengaging of this pain and any and all negativity and fear that it may have caused one for years.
If we aren't careful the pain of abandonment trauma can and does become addictive, patterned, and its own life trap. I went through that. I have overcome that. I have let that go. I have exhausted the need to engage the compulsive, hyper-vigilant and defensively-closed fearful anxiety-riddled way of life that is the trap of unresolved abandonment trauma.
As daunting as abandonment in childhood is in its many forms the road to recovery and healing is just one choice away.
In my life now I simply haven't got time for the pain. I haven't the need for the pain of my past. I have exhausted the need to feed what was a very profound, deep, and pervasive abandonment wound for the first 30 years of my life.
Once I realized the spiritual reality and truth that lives and breathes within the serendipity of a sychronistic synergy that is all that paradox has to offer the way was clear, the way was possible. The journey that has been the way for me for years now became an active choice, an active way of consciously-aware living. It became a journey whose unfolding paradoxical experience far outweighed the sense that there was some destination I "should" have arrived at years ago or that I "should" arrive at in the future.
Touchstone Life Coaching with A.J. Mahari
It is in and through cultivating awareness that each one of us has the blessed opportunity to put our faith into action by actively engaging the reality that mistakes are spirit-filled growth opportunities. When living in and from an enlightened and examined life that is a process and not a destination there is an awesome Grace in accepting the serendipity and purpose of all that unfolds, radically accepting it as it is for what it is when it is just because it is. If we do not choose to define our experience in the limiting and unbalancing framework of the opposites - good and bad - then we can appreciate the yin and the yang of both unfolding simultaneously as we live the synchronicity is that encompasses the shifts in our energy and the shifts we experience that take us out of balance and that also will bring us back into balance if we are open to the serendipitous paradox that just is the process of being.
Some years ago I refused to allow the abandonment of my past to define me anymore. In fact, it is through the healing of the pain of that abandonment and the finding of one's authentic self that the pain loses its ability to define a person anymore. Why? Because once you have reclaimed your authentic self, re-parented that precious self and learned to nurture that self there is no longer any need to remain tied to the pain that indeed does sit inside of the abandoned child where his or her "self" would have otherwise been.
Be a seeker. Live your questions. If you do not seek to be as aware as you can be of the questions that your life, and your experience within that life, beckons you to become, you will block your ability to find the answers that you may well want and/or need. It is only through seeking that we examine enough to ask the questions that are the seeds that must be sewn in the quest for answers that will yield a paradoxically-profound understanding of individual purpose that is the centre of awakening to your sacred enlightenment.
Cultivate and practice an attitude of gratitude. If you ask why, you must also for the sake of balance, ask why not. Realize the power of the choices that await your engaging them actively from a place of mindful radical acceptance that will nurture an ever-unfolding awareness. An unfolding awareness that you will, in time, come to not only understand and value all of the paradox and purpose of in your life, but that you will treasure.
Life is perpetually and consistently, truly, unfolding as it is meant to. Personal enlightenment is a choice. It requires living an examined life. It requires a sacred surrender to the sweet and sustaining serendipity of paradox.
© A.J. Mahari, May 31, 2008
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