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Loneliness - It is Pervasive, Powerful, and Purposeful
By A.J. Mahari
Last edited: Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Posted: Wednesday, September 03, 2008

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A.J. Mahari

• Nobody Said Good-bye - Closure as an adult child of a borderline parent
• Three Choices
• Shelter of Storms
• Just Being There Is The Power of Now
• The Application of Philosophy To Adaptation, Change, and Goal Achievement
• Diary - My Borderline Years
• Enlightenment Begins With The Serendipity of Paradox
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Loneliness is, on one level a universal experience. There is a collective experience, to some degree, by each and every living individual of what it means, from time to time, to be lonely.

The degree to which anyone finds loneliness a painful experience, of course, varies and is related to your level of personal awareness and to the choices that you have made and are making in your own life.

Loneliness, in some situations and circumstances is to be expected for a period of time. In the case of the loss of a loved one, a pet, a relationship, or a job, for example, there may be an increase in loneliness and the pain of loneliness as we struggle with our feelings of grief. Grief can be emotionally isolating. If we are or feel emotionally isolated we will feel lonely. And, more often than not it is painful.

Then there is an experience of loneliness that is more individual than collective. That is to say it is not just experienced because one is a part of the collective main that is humanity and the common experience of what it means to exist within that condition. It is collective in that most individuals will experience it to some degree or other over the course of a life time but is individual in its scope, purpose, function, and meaning. If you are all-too familiar with a season of loneliness that is so painful that you aren't sure you can really face it or survive facing it, you will benefit from reading my ebook.

In my ebook, Loneliness - Its Challenges, Lessons, Purpose, Meaning and its Promise of Life Transformation I explain and explore how and why Loneliness is a pervasive, powerful, and purposeful life experience and not something to dread, fear or avoid.

">">Loneliness - Its Challenges, Lessons, Purpose, Meaning and its Promise of Life Transformation I explain and explore how and why Loneliness is a pervasive, powerful, and purposeful life experience and not something to dread, fear or avoid.

The pain of any season of loneliness that we encounter for whatever reason(s) has purpose and needs to be addressed. All-too-often people run from it, avoid it at all cost and deny this pain. Doing so only increases the depth and severity of the loneliness being experienced, which in turn increases the pain that you end up feeling.

The Pervasiveness of Loneliness

A pervasive reality that is reflected in the fact that each one of us is alone, is for many, too anxiety-producing, too fear-provoking, and too vulnerable an experience. Yet, we come into this world, alone, and we must exit this world, at some point, alone also. There is a reality of some separateness in who each one of us is, spiritually. For as much as we can share, in life, or perhaps beyond, there are moments, times, and events that call for us, if we are going to be healthy, to be able to be and to even seek out being alone and the alonetime of solitude.

The pervasive nature of the need to know how to be alone and to be able to be alone comfortably is of paramount importance. The opposite of knowing how to comfortably be alone is the pain of loneliness. Experiencing and re-experiencing the often searing pain of a loneliness you may feel compelled to avoid and that you may believe you can't face and so deny, defend against, and avoid through a variety of self-defeating, and often, self-harming pursuits and compulsions, separates you, essentially from your self. Being separated from your authentic self and living in and/or through a false self is a very painful and self-defeating, unhealthy pain-producing way to live.

Loneliness is pervasive because too many people choose not to face it and because it can be very painful. It is also very pervasive in human experience because we incur so many wounds in childhood that go unresolved well into adulthood. These wounds impede your ability to believe that you can face and cope with the pain of our loneliness.

The Power of Loneliness

Loneliness is a powerful experience because it is most often replete with pain. No one enjoys or wants this pain. It is often thought, mistakenly so, that it is easier to avoid this pain then to face it and feel it. This is just not true .

However, even more powerful than the pain of loneliness and the extent to which so many people will go to avoid it, or deny it, is the fact that
loneliness is purposeful and has incredible meaning. Loneliness is the harbinger of so much potential growth and self-understanding. Choosing to cope with the pain of your loneliness can mean the difference between remaining lonely and in pain or freeing yourself from painful unresolved issues from your past and living a healthier, more productive and rewarding life.

The Reality of the Purpose of Loneliness

The reality of loneliness is that it has purpose. It is not just something that causes you pain for absolutely no reason. It is not detached from you, no matter how hard you may try to detach yourself from it. It doesn't just happen to you. The power of loneliness is that it seeks to bring to your conscious awareness by way of life-changing lessons, lessons that help transform pain into purpose and your past wounds into strengths, what you are choosing and what you need to stop choosing in order to get different and more pleasurable and/or successful results in your life.

Loneliness and its pain, faced and coped with, will teach you such incredible life-changing lessons. Loneliness and its pain faced will increase your awareness and insight into so much you need to know about yourself, your authentic self in ways that will reveal to you the life-traps of your
choices and the way that you can transform your experience in life by way of making healthier and much more effective choices.

© A.J. Mahari, November 1, 2006 - Originally written for and published
at Soul's Self Help Central

">">Soul's Self Help Central

To read much more about Loneliness and its pain, how to cope and how to gain the necessary awareness it seeks to teach you, learn its lessons, and transform your life please purchase my ebook Loneliness - It's Challenges, Lessons, Purpose, Meaning and its Promise of Life Transformation

">">Loneliness - It's Challenges, Lessons, Purpose, Meaning and its Promise of Life Transformation

©  A.J. Mahari October 2006



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