Our times have been portrayed as enlightened, scientific, technological, secular, non-religious, post-Christian and post-traditional. Each of these issues, when more fully expounded, conveys some useful insight into the nature of the modern world and its digression from our valuable traditions. Marriage is a classic example of this tradition. In these recent days, it is evident that, the significance of marriage is slowly losing ground, considering the rate of divorce and marriage abuses and scandals. These recent development has however question the concept of marriage. In this article, we explore the importance of marriage and its dignity. We intend to reinstate the meaning marriage. Perhaps one should not expect the many-faceted character of marriage and its modernity to be wholly contained or fully described in this article.
Marriage can be described as a universal culture. It is an attitude of life and an official union between two individuals, who commit to one another with the expectation of a stable and lasting intimate relationship that is not hindered by either religion, race or background. The mystery of marriage is a sacred nuptial attitude of mind and body consented by both tradition and religion in spite of their pertinent forms of rituals and practices. Fundamentally, these components embrace a sturdy view of its sacredness and reverence to human life. They also agree that its accomplishment and end blessing is typically underlie with the gift of love; which it’s evident is amazingly bestow on procreation. However, procreation is not the absolute knot but just a manifest of this attitude.
In this article however, this age-long tradition is again revisited, where Secularization and disrespect for marriage is drastically increasing. In the first chapter, we illustrate with an example what marriage is not and the fundamental causes of divorce and separation. In the second chapter, we will re-establish the meaning of marriage and it’s enriching blessing. Finally, we highlight the benefits and dignity of marriage to humanity.
What Marriage is not:
When you turn on your television, radio, or read any newspapers, you will be awfully surprised of what you watch or read recently about marriages. The constant rate of abuses and re-definition of marriage calls for an urgent attention. The rubric of marriage is effectively disappearing. Most disturbing case is the rate of divorce. In attempt to know the causes of this problem, we conducted a research and found out that, recently marriage has lost its meaning. It is now used for selfish purposes. Marriage is no more rooted in love but seem as an avenue for sexual accomplishment, procreation or material acquisition.
To elucidate on this findings, let’s consider a story of one man who was given a chance to choose a wife and a life a partner in a given country. This man absorbed with a selfish motives, poked around the houses in their city for the quest of finding just a bed mate, the quest for complementary sexuality is burning in his hand. In his passion for a mere momentarily sexual satisfaction, he first woos all the nearest ladies around his house and move on to the other part of the city.
This gentleman met with a lot of beauty queens. The more he looks the more he found more beauties and the more confused he becomes. Understanding that he is in his search for a soul mate and a wife to be, he just couldn’t make up his mind. At last, He was attracted with one party-lass he met at the pub. Contentedly, this man left the pub happily fondling the lady. In a mid way approaching his home, he had grown tired of everything. He became annoyed. At the final point, he broke into tears and disappointment: he asked himself…“Why did I pick a lady from the pub? I don’t want this lady after all!”
He was frustrated with his choice. The man had chosen something he thought he wanted to be his soul mate without genuine seeking for the nuts and bolts of marriage. The gentleman was fantasizing with the derived benefits of marriage not knowing what he really wanted; he went through life with an inner hunger unsatisfied. He did not work for the genuine basis of marriage. So he failed in his quest. This analogy is like a lazy student that wants to enjoy being branded as a distinction student without genuine hard work of study.
There are many people traveling through life like this. They came mournfully to the end of their likes, unsatisfied, unfulfilled, sadly suspecting that they never found what they really wanted in marriage. Marriage performed on the same umbrella of intent ends up in this likes of un-fulfillment and dissatisfaction. This is an abuse of marriage.
The True meaning of Marriage:
From the example above, we see a lot of people everyday crossing the bridge of marriage with the same intent and failing in between because they do not understand the meaning of marriage. For traditional Christians, marriage is ordained and sanctified by God as a means of pro-creation; it is the summit of life and a Divine culture for humanity. The bible testifies its blessing from the authority of God with his injunction to “Subdue the earth, be fruitful and multiply.
When marriage is conducted for what it stands for, great things happen between the couples. It is said that when a man finds a woman who supports him with her love, many of his fears and anxieties disappear. “If she loves me, I must be worth something”. With her, he can plan and face anything. The same fate applies to a woman, as a young lady who has found a man who loves her, a man who is sensitive to her emotions and makes allowances for them. It gives her a sense of stability to know that he appreciates her for what she is, even when she could be plain and homely. When he entrusts himself to her, she realizes that she is not only a sexual being but also a person.
In this way, we realize the dignity of marriage. God had blessed man and given him a woman to live with; He had blessed him to be fruitful and multiply, he had endowed him with the natural ability to subdue the earth and be master of all that created. Our present perception of marriage and its implications must have a different touch. Marriage cannot be viewed like any other ordinary contract with no obligation, not just to produce babies or to have freedom of sexual fulfillment. Marriage is more than all these things.
The healing power of marriage:
Marriage needs to be healing so as to remedy incompetent and defective parenting. If marriage were not healing, it is doubtful whether the human race, especially the male, would remain in reasonable mental and emotional health. Men, for all their muscles and aggressiveness, need women’s support.
In fact, it is common knowledge that men need women more than women need men. Women are better equipped to suffer and absorb emotional shock. They weep more, but in the end, more men commit suicide. Women produce babies and look after them but they also look after men, most of whom are “grown-up little boys” after all - as any woman will attest. So marriage is healing for men. Women are healed too by being stabilized. When a woman is loved, she cares about every thing connected with her marriage and puts up with anything for the sake of love. She will trust her husband to the end of the earth and be in telepathic communication with him all day long. She bears his losses and adversities as if they were her own and, in doing so, support him.
Marriage is dignified through what is called complementary sexuality. This was first put simply in the famous words: “It is not good for the man to be alone.” (Gen 2:18). It means that the indefinable essence of maleness and femaleness, over and above the physical differences, supplants something, each to the other that makes people whole.
The dignity of marriage cannot be over stressed. The gift came through a special arrangement of God. Marriage figures prominently in the teaching of Jesus Christ. He gave His first sign of divinity at the marriage feast at Cana. He spoke strongly about what marriage was ‘in the beginning.’
For the believers of God’s WORD, the grace of matrimony is an introduction to Christ Himself as they encounter each other. The man and woman, conscious of Christ in their marriage, notice that a lot of their sexual temptations have disappeared. They find that their physical love is elevated to a spiritual level, and if they are prevented from physical expression, they bear this want for the sake of each other. The dignity of marriage must be preserved. The healing effects of marriage do not come automatically as couples have to work for what they get. Marriage is not propped up by sexual complementarities or even by the sacrament of marriage, especially when the parties know little about living with each other except to fight. Anyone who thinks that marriage will solve his problems may find them aggravated especially if he fails to realize that it goes beyond sex.
If you think that marriage is only for sex and children, you could be in danger of creating a bad home. The success of marriage hinges on overcoming the odds. It embraces difficulties, pain and joy. It makes sacrifices, accommodates excuses, excludes suspicion, involves the giving of unconditional love and is summed in understanding one another. Our society should continue to encourage marriage in order to maintain the delightful traditions of holy matrimony handed to us by the Super-sensible Being. The emphasis on the dignity of marriage has a solid support of traditions, religions, and governments. We must stand firm to cherish this valuable gift of marriage: a legacy from beyond the grave. The fire should not grow dim in our time.
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