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Phyllis Jean Green

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· Carrboro Poetica

· Above and Below

· Spinning Straw: the Jeff Apple Story

Short Stories
· Scrawny Kid Clerked at Thrifty

· Euceless Laughs, Y O U Laugh {Capice?}

· This is Your Lucky Day by Euceless Liesalot

· Christmas Fax for da Broads in da Audience

· Flashing

· Owner Will Repair Kitchen Floor {flash humor}

· Courting Able

· Amnesty International Pressing for More Anti-Rape Legislation

· Bullying has no Place in a Democracy

· Calling Dr. Mengele, Calling Dr. Mengele

· Show and Tell by Karen Vanderlaan - Review

· Valley of the Shadow by Sybil Austin Skakle - Review

· Courage in Patience by Beth Fehlbaum -- a Review

· Heart Attack Symptoms Differ for Men and Women -- Read and Share!

· If you Have Been Kidnapped or Abducted --A Letter from Someone who Cares

· RICO for Kids - Help Missing Children, U.S.A.

· Reason to Celebrate! {re O N E's impact re suffering in Africa}

· Listen to Your Muse, Then get up an' do Your Thing

· Poem an Inside Job

· Vicks, Flannel, and Great Expectations?

· Rumor January 19, two Thousand Thirteen

· Snow Night with Bird

· Gunned Down

· Shape Shifter

· Fought Tooth and Nail, I Know You {for Ellie}

· Night-Light

· We are Here to Tell You

         More poetry...
· Featured in Creative Thinkers International!

· Second Appearance in Leann Marshall's Sketch Notes

· New Appearance in The Yarn Spinner

· Bullying has no Place in a Democracy Featured at Creative Thinkers Intnl

· Poem to Appear in Sketchbook

· Poems to Appear in Sensations' 21st Century Issue

· In Richard Lee King's The Price of Freedom

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'Summary,' huh? I'd tell ya, but I'd hafta kill ya. (Okay, I'll tell you a little. The article is a tongue-in-cheek look at creativity versus sense and order. Not necessarily at odds, no. But we creative types have been known to use our condition as an excuse. Me, I have turned it into a multitude. Feel free to borrow, if you like. But whether you do or not -- most of you won't need as many as I do --, I sure would appreciate your taking time to comment. Poetry nets a lot more reviews for some reason. And as I am thinking of putting together a book of essays such as this. . .pretty please with chocolate syrup and a cherry?? ((((Phyllis)))) )

Some kind soul recently pointed out that Bill Gates is responsible for 98.9% of the disruptions that are slowing things down for everyone but him and a few mountain climbers and frog-people whose laptops are still on order. (Hunting for socks hidden by clothes driers accounts for another half a percent.) I knew I was working slow, but I thought it was my fault. I know it is hard to believe.
Remind me to bill Bill for the lost time that would have brought me a Pulitzer.
Don’t tell me to send it electronically!! As for buying software or going to Microsoft’s site, are you out of your mind??!!
Okay, so I am to blame for a few of the hold-ups that slow my progress. (Do too make progress!} Between you, me and the Breyer’s vanilla that keeps beckoning, I have always been at sixes and sevens. And lately, the condition is worse. Were I old, I suppose I could blame age.
It is rumored that my rationalizations are hysterical. Pay no attention to such talk!
Some people are content with any old excuse. Shame on them. I have been forced to categorize mine. Unfortunately, I misplaced the 936-page summary. But as I remember, the A List begins with "Call Yourself Creative." As in:
Creative people cannot be expected to be efficient. Their minds need time and space to wander.
While they are wandering, havoc may break loose. Havoc is conducive to further breaks with what rational types call "getting real." Peace, calm and order are fine if you wish to be an accountant.
(Gates??) But only out of chaos doth art come. Cometh? Take your pick. The point is, creativity requires throwing things in the air and waiting to see what comes back. It is even better if you can arrange to toss everything into a Grand Canyon-proportioned Mixmaster-cum- one_of_those_drums_fools_pay_to_climb_in_at_a_fair_so-they-can-be_whirled_until_they_throw_up.. Maybe add a . . .what is a centrifuge? What I am getting at (I think) is that new ideas and modes of expression come only from breaking up molecules – or at the very least jostling them into unpredictable combinations – so the same ones don’t keep bouncing back. If this is clear as mud, blame it on the creative process and the tiredness of the metaphor.
Sit down. Here comes another one.
Creative people are absent-minded.
And another.
Creative people need an extraordinary amount of rest and recreation. Because it is only during such periods of respite that the subconscious has a chance to do something with all the weird, er, junk, that has whirled back and splattered on the genius. (See?)
Might as well add a few more.
Creative people feed on variety. And the only way to insure variety is to jump from this to that without rhyme or reason. Okay, rhyme and/or reason are sometimes involved. Creative people have the right to break any rules that sane people – I mean, less creative ones – insist should be imposed. {Stipulation’s too narrow, expand to suit:).}
Creative people are especially sensitive to their environments. Therefore, they sometimes have to stop what they are doing and lallygag. Gather wool, whatever. They also need time to enhance their surroundings. If not enhance, shake up. Let’s not quibble over definitions. It is so uncreative.
Also, they need to shuffle their papers and stuff into new avalanches, and paint and decorate their nests.
Find Stuff.
Are these enough excuses for losing my place because I painted the kitchen?
Please take note of the following challenges:
Creative people tend to be obsessive-compulsives.
So when one paints, one p a i n t s. Painting leads to reorganizing leads to more reorganizing leads to aches, pains and storms because things aren’t perfect and will never be perfect and look how much time and energy you wasted for nothing. And anyway, why did Genius pick that color, and that? What was she thinking? Oh.
Creative people tend to expect too much of themselves.
And not enough.
At the very same time.
Have I mentioned it is all right for a creative person to be crazy?
Most are--?
Have I mentioned that creative people make messes and pretend they meant to?
That they were "creating?"
So what? Creative people don’t get hung up on piddly details
Question: if a creative writer is constantly starting new projects (thus significantly slowing those in progress), is it a sign she is extra creative, or extra crazy? Could it be that perfectionism makes her afraid to finish stuff? Is it possible you do not wish to serve as said genius’s therapist? If true , do you accept Visa? That way, I could pay amends. All I would have to do is figure a way to pay Visa.
Or not.
Please don’t think this particular "CP" does nothing but slap words and paint. ‘Tain’ so! But I sometimes yearn to be one of those people [my salt-of-earth spouse and wonderful daughter among them] who manage to Create and Keep Charts. Even balance their checkbooks! Not only do they make lists, they know where to find them. Their address books are organized according to last names, rather than nicknames. If they need a piece of tape or a paper clip, they reach and it’s there. Their socks are rolled and their clothes closets are reserved for clothes. (You may be interested in the fact that my husband calls my closet an archeological dig.) They show up at Jiffy Lube on schedule and can go to their local libraries without worrying about being arrested for stuff they forgot. They know where their library, AAA and insurance cards are. They know they have them. The columns they create are straight, and there aren’t any smiles and frowns on their grocery lists. They write grocery lists. This is making me sick.
Probably the point I am angling for now is this. The people we are talking about are not only sensible and orderly, they Make Things. Useful things! For instance, my husband just finished whipping up Adirondack chairs. People can actually sit in them. No one falls through! The chairs sit on a deck that he virtually rebuilt. Last time company came, they walked all over the floor. It didn’t so much as squeak! Our daughter is also a builder. . .and a sewer...and an arts and crafts whiz, among other practical yet creative activities. I have countless friends who have rebuilt portions of their houses and lived to tell it. They Grow Vegetables, Bake Souffles and Fix Engines. My son-in-law abracadabra’s meals to die for. . .and lately, so does my husband, Mr. Fix-It-and-Lord-it-Over. I cooked and sewed a little before writing began grabbing all my time and energy. Now I can barely sew on a button or burn toast. So much for being useful. ....Oh...and my son designs machine parts that turn out to work. He can make them if he wants. I suppose a lot of people can. Others make dolls out of plastic drink holders and Clorox bottles or save lives by inventing to put out fires or that handy-dandy yellow tape police love to strew. And then there’s the person who found a way to make lipstick say on. Oh, wait. It doesn’t work. But a lot does, if you don’t count personal computers. Builders build, farmers produce produce. The list – and there’s always a list – goes on. Many of these useful souls have hobbies that prove they are Well-Rounded. Many of their hobbies require creativity. Yet they juggle it all without dropping a nail or sawing a foot off.. Unbelievable! For all I know, they use those doodle pads called calendars and daybooks to keep track of their activities. Need a phone number, there it is! Memorized most, of
course. Somehow I don’t think they end up on the floor kicking and screaming because they can’t work voice mail. If I talk about this any more, I’ll have to call my doctor and ask for a tranquilizer. Remind me to look up her name and number. Hope you can tell me where I put the piece of paper I wrote it
down on. Think I wrote it. . .dadblame it, where is the phone?
Bill Gates got it, I know. . .
(c) Phyllis Jean Green,  October, 2002

Web Site Author-Editor-Poet & Educator Phyllis Jean Green

Reader Reviews for "Stop Laughing and Find my Glasses"

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Reviewed by Cynth'ya
Pea, Girlfren' you hit the nail on the head, metaphorically speaking because I use shoe heals to hammer nails and such, since I never can find the hammer, I at least know where 1/2 of a pair of shoes happens to be. Most of the time they are not on my feet because I need to feel "free and creative."

So today, my house is a mess, as usual. And I went out, transplanted some perennials "just because," busted up some dirt with the grandson while we looked at worms, "rollie-pollies" (millipedes) as he calls them--buried a dead bird that my grandson believes a snake killed, but the bird's time just "was" I guess. . . and even as I sit here, my very logical, very practical spouse who can't stand to see a Bic or a Sharpie without a pencap on it (and yes, he balances the checkbook too) says "you look so happy pecking away on your computer."

God love 'im, he's absolutely correct. And I got inspired digging up dry old earth. I figure if something can be figured out easily, it ain't writer material. For me, that something is called "life." You should go on a write a book of "lists" for those of us who would love to own it, but make its cover bright enough so we can find it when we lose it in the closet, which in my half of the bedroom is called "The Black Hole--everything goes in, nothin' comes out."

love this read and "Preach Sistah, Preach!"

Reviewed by Susan Sparks (Reader)
I'm a creative writer AND an Accountant. Figure that one out. I enjoy doing both. And I only have about 1,000 projects going on at the same time. That way I don't get bored. And if I clean up my clutterous mess one day, the next it's all aclutter again--new clutter. I can't resist yard stores and thrift stores because of the endless decorating supplies I get there. But I'm high on efficiency--I insist upon it at work. Just sometimes forget to balance my own checkbook. I probably would if someone paid me to do it. I'm famous for losing my glasses also. My second pair has been lost for months.
Thanks for this humorous look at the Crazy and Creative.
Reviewed by Debra Conklin
Well, you've certainly touched a true spot, with this one Phyllis. My purse, (actually a woman's wallet) suffers b/c of my too many things going on in my brain, at once, disease. The poor thing has been lost more times than I care to admit. Thank goodness I never have more than twenty bucks in it at any one time. And I've learned from past experiences never to keep my ATM card or credit cards in it. These are locked in my glove compartment and taken out only when needed. I never really worry about anyone attempting to break into my truck or steal it b/c if they did, they likely wouldn't be able to drive away in it, b/c they'd have to get a boost to do that. Darn thing has never run right since I bought it.

Oh, b/c of losing my wallet so often, I've resorted to actually leaving a message inside to anyone who happens to find it. "Dear Finder of this lost wallet, here is my name, address and telephone number. If you really need the money, then take it, we'll call it your reward for returning my wallet. But, I'd really like the wallet back, b/c it has important telephone numbers in it that I can't remember without my wallet. Thanks!" Pretty lame, but it worked. The next time I lost my wallet I got a call and was told where it was found. I went to get it and was even more impressed when, the less than twenty bucks, was still in it.

Oh, this review was supposed to be about your story! Too funny, Phyllis, I loved it! : -)
Reviewed by Tami Ryan
Ohmigod, Pea, this is hysterical; I laughed the whole way through! Hey, I recently lost my glasses... Seems someone at work had picked them up, thought they were hers... didn't know where she got them, so they laid in her office - for a month! Geesh.

I can hear my mother now: "Why do you always have to have six things going at the same time? Do you ever finish anything you start?" And my ex: "Can't you just sit down here with me and BE STILL? What ARE you doing?" 'Course that was while I was doing my stock control book (paperwork) at home, all the while, running up and downstairs doing laundry, helping our son with homework, baking cupcakes for the next day's school function, meantime, fielding phone calls about the baseball program I directed... Uh hunh, while he watched TV.

Sure am glad life has settled down some (ha), and I actually recognize the fact that there are, indeed, thoughts floating about this cerebrum of mine - I, occasionally, even get them on paper. The aforementioned was, of course, when I was organized. Me thinks I like being creative; Visa will have to wait.

Reviewed by Ang

this is definitely me. maybe I should send this to my parents. I think they would picture me right away. My irritating habits (for example making any quiet, serene abode look like a tornado ripped through it) have gotten alot better over the past few years, mainly because of my speech therapist, but the crazy woman in me is still in there...she tends to come out especially when I forget to take my meds ;)
Reviewed by m j hollingshead
enjoyed the read
Reviewed by Basit Ghafoor
Hey Phyllis, You are really funny and have a great sense of humor, thanx for sharing it with us.
Reviewed by Elizabeth Langford
I wish I had a penny for every .com I've written in my short life as a computer compulsive person. I'd be rich (well, at least I'd be able to pay the house off), but that day dream is another matter.

Creative people also need time and space to put their crammed thoughts in order. I take my time writing something, I'd be dangerous otherwise.

Have you ever tried to talk to God and hear trains of thoughts speeding by? Makes for an interesting conversation.

I'm glad you wrote your article about laughter and glasses. I kept thinking of my two pair and how it's a constant struggle to remember where I put them so I can see the world in all its glory - so long as you don't look under my bed were fine!

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