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Mark M Lichterman

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Accepting Old Age With Humor
By Mark M Lichterman
Last edited: Friday, January 30, 2009
Posted: Friday, January 30, 2009



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Mark M Lichterman

• A Jewish Boycott
• Betrayal in Benghazi
• Did You Know?
• The 2000 Year Old Man
• Social Security History
• Lost C. Burnett Skit
• THE CANDY BOMBER
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I am a healthy, though about twenty pounds overweight, man that still has all my hair... Well, almost all my hair that has become sprinkled with gray... Well, maybe a bit more than just “sprinkled with gray” that I actually like.

        ACCEPTING OLD AGE WITH HUMOR 

Okay, so I’m eight months between my seventy-fourth and  seventy-fifth birthday and what, I ask you, what's the alternative?

 

I am a healthy, though about twenty pounds overweight, man that still has all my hair... Well, almost all my hair that has become sprinkled with gray... Well, maybe a bit more than just “sprinkled with gray” that I actually like.

 

People meeting me never take me for my age thinking I’m... “Oh, my God!” they would say, “You can’t be older than fifty/fifty-five, possibly, sixty at the most!”

 

Which, of course, always tickles the hell out of me.

 

And – thanks to my inherited genes – it’s true .

 

I stopped smoking about thirty-six years ago, and ride a bike about eleven miles a day five days a week and still work a couple of days a week and... And this helps a lot, a real lot! I have a girlfriend that’s ten years younger than me.

 

My girlfriend happens to be my next door neighbor who happens to still be a “chick”... Well, if one can call a sixty-four old woman a “chick” or, for that matter, a “girl”. However, to me she is a beautiful, sexy, lovable woman that...  

 

Geriatric sex will be another, I’m sure, unbelievably interesting article.

 

Anyway, outside of two, to say the least, annoying symptoms of approaching – approaching? – old age  I feel really swell!

 

“Swell!” For you whippersnappers, “swell” is a word from the past meaning, “Great!” "Swell came along long before "cool". And I do! I do feel swell except for two annoying symptoms.

 

One of those annoying symptoms is I've always got to “go”... Which sometimes becomes annoying on my bike rides.

 

The second: I forget what the hell I’m talking about, sometimes in mid-sentence.

 

Consequently, I have become a huge buyer of “Post-its” and have them stuck in various places in my home to remind me of various things that I am to do... or have to do.

 

In my bathroom, on the wall over the toilet, I have two post-its to remind me what I’m there to "do".  

 

The post-its stuck on the wall over the toilet are there to remind me if I’m there to – although I use two other words –  urinate or defecate. However, what I can’t figure out is, why are clothes hanging from bars along the walls and shoes on the floor?

f

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Reviewed by Laurel-Rain Snow
Your story had me laughing so hard that I almost fell off of my chair! Seriously...I could really relate to your aging tale, since I'm on the short side of middle age myself. (LOL) And, like you, people are always telling me that I look younger. I do try to keep physically and mentally active -- just as you do, apparently.

Keep it up!

The only complaint I have about "post-its"...they tend to fall down
in little piles after a bit!
Reviewed by Carole Mathys
I think it is a good day when I wake up breathing...really enjoyed this one.

Carole~
Reviewed by Tabitha Carter
"Swell!"
I am a fan of post its because I can't remember things, either! I make long lists of daily things...like take a shower and give the baby a bath, seriously! Without a list, my mind is idling on what to do. I can spend eternity in my head without realizing the time I've taken up. Eleven miles on a bike is so great, I bet I can't do two miles. I knew you were younger than your age, I was like "wow", too, when I found out you were seventy four. Working and excercising, finding humor in everything definitely keeps all of the whippersnappers young. Won't and can't be a whippersnapper until you sit and never get up, letting life pass you by. I love this. I love your spirit and humor, Mark!
Reviewed by Marcia Miller-Twiford

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