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Mark M Lichterman

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Wisdom & Training Manuals
By Mark M Lichterman
Last edited: Friday, September 03, 2010
Posted: Friday, September 03, 2010

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Recent articles by
Mark M Lichterman

• A Jewish Boycott
• Betrayal in Benghazi
• Did You Know?
• The 2000 Year Old Man
• Social Security History
• Lost C. Burnett Skit
           >> View all 395
'When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.'
-Multi-Engine Training Manual-



'If the enemy is in range, so are you.' 
- Infantry Journal-

'It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.' 
- US.Air Force Manual -

'Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword, obviously never encountered automatic weapons.' 
- General MacArthur -

'Tracers work both ways.' 
- Army Ordnance Manual-

'Five second fuses last about three seconds.' 
- Infantry Journal -

'Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once.' 
- Naval Ops Manual -

'Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.' 
- Unknown Infantry Recruit-

'If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up to him.' 
- Infantry Journal-  

'Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil.  For I am at 50,000 Feet and Climbing.' 
- Sign over SR71 Wing Ops-

'You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.' 
- Paul F. Crickmore (SR71 test pilot)-

'The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.' 
-Unknown Author-

'If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.' 
- Fixed Wing Pilot-

'When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.' 
-Multi-Engine Training Manual-

'Without ammunition, the Air Force is just an expensive flying club.' 
-Unknown Author-

'If you hear me yell;"Eject, Eject, Eject!", the last two will be echos.' 
If you stop to ask "Why?", you'll be talking to yourself, because by then you'll be the pilot.' 
-Pre-flight Briefing from a Canadian F104 Pilot-

'What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? 
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; but If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies.' 
-Sign over Control Tower Door-

'Never trade luck for skill.' 
-Author Unknown-

The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in military aviation are:'Did you feel that?' 'What's that noise?' and'Oh S...!' 
-Authors Unknown-

'Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.' 
-Basic Flight Training Manual-

'Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.' 
- Emergency Checklist-

'The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world;  it can just barely kill you.' 
- Attributed to Max Stanley ( Northrop test pilot) -

'There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.' 
-Sign over Squadron Ops Desk at Davis-Montham AFB , AZ-


'You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.' 

- Lead-in Fighter Training Manual -


As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, 
having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives.

The rescuer sees the bloodied pilot and asks, 'What happened?' 
The pilot's reply: 'I don't know, I just got here myself!





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Reviewed by Kathleen McDonald 9/16/2010
Markie these are wonderful I loved them and John liked yours too

Reviewed by Annabel Sheila 9/5/2010
Hahaha!Thanks for the chuckles this fine Sunday morning after hurricane Earl! Great stuff, Mark!

Your friend,
Reviewed by Patrick Granfors 9/4/2010
Some new ones here I haven't seen. They crack me up. Droll humor is my favorite. Patrick
Reviewed by John Martin 9/4/2010
Love em Mark… There is some evidence that other countries sometimes use these manuals, too… Classic example… AliItalia- Flight 72 takes of from JFK destined for Milan. The Pilot announce over the PA. “Ladies and a gentlemen… we gotta a good tail wind and it looks like we’ll be a landing in Milan at 5PM.” ….an hour later…”Ladies and a gentlemen… we just lost one engine and it looks like we won’t be landing until 6 a pm…two hours later…”Ladies and a gentlemen…we just a lost an other engine…it looks like a now we won’t a landing until a 7 pm. One hour later…“Ladies and a gentlemen… we just a lost another engine…now it a looks like we’ll be a landing at 8pm.“ Then the pilot turned to his co-pilot and said… “Hey… you know a what? …We lose a that last engine and we goona be up here all a night.“

Books by
Mark M Lichterman

For Better or Worse

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The Climbing Boy

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