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Mark M Lichterman

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Passport Application Letter
By Mark M Lichterman
Last edited: Monday, June 04, 2012
Posted: Monday, June 04, 2012



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Recent articles by
Mark M Lichterman

• A Jewish Boycott
• Betrayal in Benghazi
• Did You Know?
• The 2000 Year Old Man
• Social Security History
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What is going on? You must have a gang of bureaucratic Neanderthal morons working there!


Every now and then something comes across that, at least in my opinion, is so clever and funny that I feel compelled to pass it along.

 

 PASSPORT APPLICATION LETTER


THIS IS AN ACTUAL PASSPORT APPLICATION LETTER SENT BACK TO STATE DEPARTMENT


Dear Mrs. Ms. Or Sir:

I'm in the process of renewing my passport and still cannot believe this.

How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a cable TV from them in 1987 (23 years ago), and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? Ever heard of computers?

My birth date you have in my social security file. It's on EVERY income tax form I've filed for the past 30 years. It's on my Medicare health insurance card and my driver's license, it's on the last eight damn passports I've had, it's on every stupid customs declaration form I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane for the last 30 years. And it's on all those census forms that we have to do at election times.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'm reasonably confident that neither name is likely to change between now and when I die.

Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bureaucratic bullshit!

You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my #*&#%*& address.

What is going on? You must have a gang of bureaucratic Neanderthal morons working there!

Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? And "No," I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a damn whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days?

If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now because I have to go to the other end of the city and get another #*.&#^.*.& copy of my birth certificate to the tune of $100.

Would it be so difficult to have all the services in the same area so I could get a new passport the same day? Nooooo, that would require planning and organization. And it would be too logical for the .&^*^%.% government.

You'd rather have us running all over the place like chickens with our heads cut off. Then, we have to find some asshole to confirm that it's really me in the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile... Hey, you know why we can't smile?

We're totally pissed off!


Signed

- An Irate Citizen.

P.S. Remember what I wrote about getting someone to confirm that the picture is me? Well, my family has been in the United States of America since 1776. I have served in the military for something over 35 years and have had security clearances up the ying yang. However, I have to get someone important to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor....... WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN INDIA!

And you assholes want to run our health care system?????

 

 

 

 

 

 

Web Site mmlichterman.com
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Reviewed by Patrick Granfors
Man can I related to Federal agencies. Our 7 home community mailbox was knocked over on May 1st. It took them 7 days to tell us we weren't going to get mail delivery until the box was fixed and 14 days to figure out it was their box. We had to get our mail at the post office in person. We all finally bitched enough and now they deliver to our homes. It's June 6th with no mail box in sight. A repair job that should take no more than an hour. Idiots. Patrick
Reviewed by Tom Hyland
THANKS, MARK ... LOVE IT !!!
Reviewed by Annabel Sheila
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! I could have written this letter so many times! Thanks for the belly laughter, Mark!!!!!!!!!!!!! Awesome!

Your pal,
Anna
Reviewed by John Martin
Thanks for sharing Mark. Reminds me of Larry the cable guy's "Hello is this telephone information? "Yes, how may I help you?" "Can you give the phone number for 911" Yup, if and when the government finishs taking over the health care system, we'll all be in the same boat as that guy who went to hospital, and they cut off the wrong leg. He had to go back and they finally cut off the right leg. The good news for the government is, we won't be able to sue them. That's because we won't have a leg to stand on in court.

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