Out of all of the things we think life is about, at the end of the day life is essentially about two things, relationships and choices.
This article focuses heavily on relationships and the importance of making right choices when searching for the right one. Some studies show people at the end of their lives, most often, wish they had invested more time in the close relationships in their life or made better choices regarding them.
Fundamentally, people want to be involved in happy, healthy, nurturing and loving relationships. Relationships are vital to us and God has designed us so that we will want to relate to others. One of the greatest relationships in the world is a wonderful marriage.
According to statistics Black women are in trouble when it comes to finding a suitable mate, with well over 40 percent who have never married. Even more disappointing, statistics indicate the more successful they are and the money they make their chances of marriage significantly decrease.
We get into a whole other kind thing for those Black women who are waiting for the ‘right” Black man to enter their life. Wait! Wait!! Wait, before you react, I am in no way saying or implying that there is anything wrong with waiting for a Black man or desiring to be in a relationship with the right one. That is your decision and yours alone.
This article is titled “What’s Up With The Sisters?” because I believe black women have more choices and more options that they need to avail themselves of and open their hearts and lives to. Statistics should not be allowed to predict their futures. There are thousands of wonderful, loving, caring, intelligent Black women of all ages and backgrounds who have prepared themselves for the probability of living out their lives alone. I think it is a tragic mistake for some many Undiscovered Treasures to resign themselves to never being discovered just based the UNavailability of only ONE segment of the entire male population.
Unless I am mistaken, I believe the goal of marriage is to find someone you want to be with, who wants to be with you, with whom you share life goals and interests and you just LIKE being with one another. Of course, there are still thousands of people who believe marriage is something that is supposed to bring them happiness. Your happiness doesn’t and won’t come from marriage. Marriage was not designed for that purpose.
When God gave Adam Eve He did not make Eve for a “Happy Vessel” He created her to be a helpmate. God has made provision for us to be secure and happy and it is not based upon your being married, or not married. Marriage was not meant to bring happiness. Happiness is a free gift from God for you; it isn’t attached to anything or anybody, except Jesus. Our Father never meant for us to run after, strive for and work ourselves to a frazzle in a never ending quest to find happiness in people, places or things. The desire of the Father is for us, His children, to discover, as Adam did in the garden that you can really, truly be happy in and with God with or without things.
I’ve read quite a few articles on the subject of black women “dating out”, which refers to black women dating white men or outside of there race. What a crazy myth!
How can one date or marry outside of your race if there is only ONE race in the first place? It’s called the Human Race, of which we are all a part. We ARE all the same, we just happen to live in different color human “houses”. I believe God fixed it that way for a purpose. Probably because He really doesn’t care who you marry when it comes to skin color, I believe character should be the more important issue.
In order for a person literally to marry outside of his/her race he or she would have to go for something…oh, I’m guessing, in the animal kingdom. Wouldn’t you agree? By no means am I trying to be facetious when I say this. I mean if we truly believe God’s account for our origin as we read it from the Bible I believe that would be a fair assessment of marrying outside one’s race.
What is amazing to me is with the enormous numbers of singles looking for mates, in this year of 2008, they can’t find each other! It seems the numbers should be decreasing instead of increasing. Could it be the choices singles make…or fail to make that keeps them in the unmarried statistics? We pray and ask God to bless us with a mate to have a great relationship with; yet we box Him in with our “racial stipulations.”
God is joining together purposes and destiny's in this final hour of the church. If you are asking Him for a beautiful and exquisite treasure for your life, to assist you in fulfilling the purpose of God in your life, don’t imprison Him with your prejudice. Allow Him to touch your eyes and enable you to see the excellent character and beauty that reside just beyond the doors of your brothers’ or sisters’ unique hues, crafted by the only wise God, our Father and Creator.
Don’t limit or imprison God or yourself in your search for your life’s treasure. Equally as important, don’t allow anyone else to entrap you with his or her racist or prejudiced views and opinions. Be your own person, the person God created you to be and don’t let some ungodly individual shape you or cause you to miss God’s best for your life.
So my sisters I challenge YOU to write your OWN script for your future! Don’t let family, friends, peers, statistics or even your own “whatevers” prevent you from having the love, the happiness and the future that you long for because of a man’s skin color. Ask God to help you position your heart and life to see, know and accept the man who is waiting to discover all of the beauty and wonder that lies within you…
Girl, go for the character within not the skin color without.