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Linda Settles

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Member Since: Jun, 2008

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Growing Beyond Abuse Will Take All You've Got:
by Linda Settles   
Not "rated" by the Author.
Last edited: Thursday, April 23, 2009
Posted: Thursday, April 23, 2009

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It begins, sometimes, with a simple question. Why do I feel the way I do when....

 

It begins, sometimes, with a simple question.  Why do I feel the way I do when....

When I smell old spice cologne, when a see a man with a certain hair or eye color, when someone looks at me a certain way...

It begins, sometimes, by being triggered.  By sensing my emotions spin out of control over some relatively insignificant detail--or so I think.

I have recovered so many memories by asking-- why.  Why do I feel the way I do?  I don't try to force it.  I don't obsess over what may have happened. Perhaps I wasn't even there, mentally and emotionally, when the incident occurred, because I disassociated.  My body stayed put but all the rest of me took flight like a flock of frightened birds.  I disassociated in order to survive. How can I remember what happened if I wasn't really there?

And yet, there is One who knows my past in excruciating detail-- for He was there with me.  He is omnipresent--always present in every place, at all times.  Nothing escapes His notice.  And He has not forgotten. He will bring all things to my remembrance that are needful for my recovery. The Holy Spirit of God who lives in my heart now occupied it then as well.  There are many questions to be answered, and I have asked them of Him.  Why did you not intervene?  Why did you allow an evil man to do what this man did?  Why... Why...Why...

And He has given me peace. I don’t have all the answers, but I have come to understand some of them.  Enough to help me know my Heavenly Father’s heart, and accept His ways.

We must realize that we don't always have to consciously remember everything that has traumatized us in order to recover from it.  We haven't forgotten--we just remember it in different places.  Rather than storing traumatic memories our conscious mind, we may force some memories into the dark recesses of our subconscious mind and spend every ounce of our emotional energy trying to keep it there.

Those are the memories that need to come out in order for us to heal!  We don't need to dig them up--we just need to find a safe place to rest and let them come.  We need to protect our soul in the process--and never, never, walk through the agony of recovery alone. 

We must be wise enough to seek help, humble enough to accept it, and brave enough to act on it. An action that moves us toward recovery may be no more, in the beginning, than asking a simple question--why.  A simple question that costs so much--so much courage, so much pain, and so much risk.  I am here to tell you that it is worth it.  No matter what it costs. Recovery is the sweet joy of taking back the treasures that have been ripped away from us. We can't do it alone--but we CAN do it together.


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Reviewed by Cynthia Buhain-Baello
Linda, the fact that you are able to write about it is a great step toward your healing. A child so traumatized by abuse may grow into an adult but the pain and the fears are still there, and only the Power of God can remove all those hurts. "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18) He Who formed you in your mother's womb guards your life like the apple of His eye, for you are His treasured possession, and He holds you right now in the palm of His Hands. As you share your testimony, His Power moves in your life for you will bring healing to many, and your light will shine forth like new day! Fear not for no weapon formed against you will prosper and you will refute every tongue that rises to accuse you, that is your legacy as a child of God, a warrior for His Truth! You bless us with your writings!!!

Cynthia
Reviewed by Darlinliz11 Cox
Hello,
Greetings. I am led of our Lord to encourage the hurting people of this world in Blogging and videos. I did a YouTube Video, "Help For A Hurting World". I thank you for sharing your article here. In my video, I recommend three books. Go to the site, view my video with the above title, and do pray for me.

I am a former pastor's wife, and I am used in the giftings of the Holy Spirit.

Do you believe in the giftings of the Holy Spirit being used in our world today? If so, I will encourage you, as "He" leads. Do let me know.

I shall recommend your article, also. Thanks for your prayers.

God will help you in your difficult situation, which you are experiencing at this time. Put your hand in the hand of our Savior. I am encouraging people via the internet and Blogs, as the Lord leads me. I have one article at this site and one Blog.

Read them and pray over them for me, as I will do for your works.
Elizabeth
Reviewed by J'nia Fowler
Why? a question some never ask because they know that the answer is more than they can bear. But to tackle it in a safe environment is to loose at least one of their fetters. And it is this initial sample of freedom which often spurs them on to want to taste some more. At least that's the way it was for me. It still is I guess as I asked another "why" question a few weeks ago and more truth was revealed to me.
Your message is so true Linda. Bless you, J'nia <> <
Reviewed by Susan Smith
So true. The body remembers when the mind doesn't. For me, the sense of smell can evoke strong memories - some good.

You have quite a ministry of helping others.
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