Is it possible to find in life a love that holds the test of time? That no matter what happens through experience that this love will continually follow us through all that we do. This love comes firstly from deep within, a self love based on the need to receive all that we wish to desire individually. It is grounded on the knowledge that we are strong individually and do not need to depend on others in order to achieve all that we wish to experience. That we can step up for the challenge and no matter what obstacles that we must face, we can hold ourselves up with pride at all that we have individually decided to do that derives from our own choices and goals.
When we look to others for love, we base this love most often on what they can do for us and how they can make our lives better. This love does have set conditions and places the other person to have to take responsibility for another. It is not based on true self satisfaction and ability to take responsibility and endeavors to ultimately fail from the impact of pressure that builds up from expectation. No other person can make us happy within ourselves, or can they choose for us a desired future or purpose. They can only be with us through experiences, when they also have a common purpose to achieve.
To love unconditionally means to love from self. To not need from another to achieve purpose in life and to only enjoy company when it is desired and chosen. When two people come together in this love, they do not hold pressure on each other. They instead can be together based on their own choice and enjoyment, without needing the other person to fill a gap of unhappiness that can only be truly achieved through self understanding.
Imagine if life were based on all people being the definition of their own house, a house constructed from personality and emotions, and all the inner reasoning that defines a person’s life. Everyone can already see that they cannot give an emotion or personality to another. Their house within might be painted with red showing the love that they have from their choice, but they cannot give to another their walls painted in red, but only tell them through communication how it looks from within. It might inspire another to also paint their walls in red with love, but it is the individual themselves who will have to take their own paint brush and change how they want their house to be, based on their own ideals and needs.
We cannot borrow emotions or expressions, we can only ever choose for them within ourselves. The boundary we have with others exists outside and although we would like them to help us patch the walls of our house inside, they cannot reach, and can only help from looking outside. They might choose to help hold up our house for a time, like a stilt or a truck holding our framework. However there is only so much time that they can focus on us and need to retire for the day to return home inside themselves for rest and recuperation.
Unconditional love between two people bases itself on two strong houses that want to live side by side. They can at times support each other but know ultimately that they need to stand on their own foundations in order to further their path and common goals together. They do not seek to hold each other up but instead to stand together through life with common ideals and purpose. They can love each other even to the point of letting go if it means happiness and choice as the ultimate goal.
Unconditional love is the path to fulfillment. It is a path to truth within ourselves and knowing that life is built from within and not formed from outside.
By Stacey T Pollock