You said, this was the END!! Well, when did it all begin then??
edited: Sunday, February 23, 2003
By Aitezaz Nawaz
Posted: Sunday, February 23, 2003
Become a Fan
Life never goes the way you want it to go. It has its own path, all rugged and long,with never ending cries of broken dreams and shattered hopes.
The time when life was no more than nothing I had to live for. No sun shines to shine on me and all the cold evening breezes doing nothing else but touching me in my heart, telling me, I had nothing else to lose but only my breath. For the times when every sun set gave me a losing hope of breathing on anymore, living on anymore. For all the times that people came closer and caressed me but doing nothing else than telling me I was all so alone and then making me all so lonelier than I had been. Even more sad than I always had been.
For the times that love left no meaning to me, for me. It was only a mere illusion, stabbing me all along.
For all the times that the winter suns brought me all the cold feeling of a dying soul. For the times when my eyes could see nothing else but nightmares of the cruelest, coldest search of a slow poisoned, quiet, mild death.
For all the times when people all around were much so less loving, less caring and the lust of power and only a little money ruled their stone cold dead hearts. With much less than no softness and a deep coldness in the words they said.
Then it happened that one day, from no where for me to know, unfeelingly, unknowingly, so softly, came into my life, a twinkling joy, a calm smile. All what had always been inside me did nothing else but to rush into my eyes and sprinkle out the tears in your arms. I had always waited for this to happen and so it did. Life well did change, not knowing about what was going to happen next, I was quite unsure of it all. But then what else could I do if not to love her. I had been waiting for love to come into my life since the last sunrise I had seen which seemed as if it happened only centuries ago. Now, it was quite different, life had all its meanings vested in me. Giving me a loud hope, to live, to love her.
Loving her was the only time when I enjoyed in the life I had been gifted with, and I presume it would be the only sensation, even if I get all the two lives I had been promised of. She was so close to me, even closer than being closest.
Well, after all, who does get what he wants. The one who promised me another love, he, I think couldn’t really see me happy.
She left me, nothing to say and nothing to hear. She left me, all the same, all alone, left with no more to lose anymore.
The difference from the past is only that her breath taking eyes took my breath away, and now that I didn’t even have my breath, so I really had nothing else to give away, but a cold, breathless, motionless, emotionless, feelingless body.
And then it’s now the same. Me and my dark, shadowless loneliness, in the long endless tunnel of a breathless life, with the coldness of a winter breeze, poisoning me to a slow, mild death.