SOMETIMES PEOPLE NEED PERMISSION TO DIE
If you have a loved one or friend who is close to death and seemingly ready to make their transition into the Spirit World, but they just will not go, they may be looking for permission to die.
In spite of the prevalence of the so called “permissive society” of the 1960s, there are still many people who consciously or subconsciously need permission to do things. Be happy is one, having a relationship is another, getting married another, and yes, loving ourselves. There’s a little part of us that says: “I need your approval.”
It is something that stems back to childhood when we needed permission to be happy, to climb a tree, enjoy a swing in the neighbor’s yard, go swimming at the creek, or go to a party. It’s a tradition that is hard to break, so there is a struggle to be an individual.
In the adult years we hear of teachings and philosophies that talk of a life after death, a spirit world, but somehow it does not exactly match the teachings from Sunday school or what the priest announced from the pulpit. We want to believe in life after death. That medium we met, gave us messages from loved ones who had crossed over, and validated them beyond all shadow of doubt – but the hesitancy remains.
Now, the body is failing, falling apart, kept together by medicine and hospital technology. The spirit is ready to go, but there is an anchor, a block, a wall. The writing on the wall reads: “I need permission to die!”
A good friend and colleague of mine who knew and taught the finer points of Spirit, crossed into the spirit world recently, but it was after ten years of sitting in wheelchairs and beds in a facility in British Columbia. Tom was a renowned dowser – questers they call them in Canada. He was everyone’s friend and teacher. When I visited him a couple of years before his crossing over into the spirit world, I told him: “Tom, it’s time to go. It’s OK to go. You have many friends and loved ones waiting for you on the other side.” He was paralyzed throughout most of his body, although he could move an arm and chat.
I even told him about Katey, his dowsing friend. But Tom waited another two years before crossing over. He clung desperately to life. Was he waiting for permission to die? I think so.
Katey? In her prime had been a great looking redhaired dowser, and she too knew all about spirits and the afterlife. I wrote and recorded an audiotape “Relaxation for Asthmatics” especially for her, and she told me “It’s keeping me alive, Bob.” She finally finished up in Vancouver Hospital. My friend Tom, alive and well at that time, called me: “Bob, Katey’s asking for you.” Next day, I sat by her bed, and we chatted about spirits. I described a big fellow in spirit, carrying flowers – roses, I recall – for her, and he kept calling her “Ginger.”
Her dark eyes shone with glee. “My first love. My first husband,” she said hoarsely. I told her he and others were waiting for her. “They tell me it’s all right for you to cross over. It’s time.”
“I don’t know how,” Katey said.
“Sometime soon, there will be a light, a bright white light shining above your head…” I started to say.
“Oh, I have seen that several times. I know it’s there for me, but I’m afraid…”
“The next time you see that light, just feel yourself rising towards it….don’t hold back…forget the past…just allow yourself to be enveloped in that beautiful white light,” I said. “It’s all right to go. God loves you and so do we all.”
Two days later, Tom called: “Katey crossed over this morning. She needed permission to go.”
“Tom, we all like to think of ourselves as individuals, but sometimes our roots from childhood still hold us, and we need permission to do things. Permission to die.”
“There must be many people out there, helpless and infirm waiting for a loved one to give them permission,” Tom remarked.
Note: I wrote the following article in 1999 when I was studying Mordern Spiritualism with the Morris Pratt Institute. Reading it, triggered the article above.
‘THERE IS NO DEATH—THERE IS NOTHING BUT LIFE”
Poets and writers through the ages have talked about death. John Milton, the 17th century English poet, wrote: “Death is the golden key that opens the palace of eternity.” Sir Rabindranath Tagore, India’s poet, philosopher, composer and Nobel Prize winner put it this way: “Death: where the changing mist of doubts will vanish at a breath, and the mountain peaks of eternal truth will appear.”
In spite of the colorful, dramatic prose of the poets, most people are unable to accept either the death of a loved one, or the fact that sooner or later, death will come upon oneself.
Death is a subject which is evaded, ignored, and denied by our youth-worshipping, progress-oriented society because the fear of death is the prototype of human anxiety. As Elisabeth Kübler-Ross points out: “It is almost as if we have taken on death as just another disease to be conquered. But the fact is death is inevitable.”
In western Christian society, death is the great bogey. Christians traditionally talk of the dreaded Last Judgment, an event pointedly mentioned in both the Apostolic and Nicene Creeds, and recited by church-goers every Sunday. The image here is that sinners -- and everyone according to the doctrines -- are sinners, will be consigned to the horrors of Purgatory or the everlasting agonies of Hell.
If that concept is fading, a more popular fear is emerging that death takes us into everlasting nothingness--that you stay buried in the grave forever. Reading the Old Testament compounds the fears. “For dust thou art, and unto dust thou shalt return.” (Genesis 3:19)
“Some people are so afraid to die that they never begin to live.” These were words from Henry Jackson Van Dyke, the American Presbyterian clergyman and author, who lived in the 19th century at a time when Modern Spiritualism was starting to flourish and changing our concept of death.
Strictly speaking, there is no such thing as death. It’s a lie, a phrase used by well-intended but ignorant people. As the great Indian Mystic, Yogi Ramacharaka, said: “Death is an illusion growing from ignorance. There is no death--there is nothing but Life. Life does not cease for even a single instant--life persists while Nature makes her changes.”
These words summarize death and the philosophy of Spiritualism: “We affirm that the existence and personal identity of the individual continue after the change called death.”
Since the veil between the two worlds was split in 1848 at Hydesville, thousands upon thousands of people the world over have received greetings and meaningful messages from departed love-ones and others, and this has been scientifically and personally confirmed. Fears of death are slowly being eroded and the light of eternal grace is being confirmed.
Sir Walter Scott, the great Scottish poet and novelist, put it this way: “Is death the final sleep? No it is the last and final awakening.”
The authors of the creeds - Apostolic and Nicene - did nothing for Christians when they wrote about “resurrection of the body” from the grave. They failed to separate the material from the spiritual. Somehow the teachings of Jesus - the promise of everlasting life, were misinterpreted to a connection with the physical body.
Looking back almost two millennia, resurrection of Jesus from the dead, was the one unvarying refrain of the Apostles. The message then, as now with Modern Spiritualism is clear: We have begun an existence that shall never end. Halley’s Bible Handbook, written for students of the Christian Bible, says it: “Death is merely an incident in passing from one phase of existence to another.” Modern Spiritualism proves this daily.
Knowing that loved ones are waiting on the Other Side is a concept hard to believe. Some years ago, a mother called me: “My son is terminally ill in the Vancouver Cancer Control Clinic. He’s terrified of dying. He doesn’t believe in anything, and he’s very depressed.”
Ted was in his mid-thirties, married with two very young children. I had recently heard Elisabeth Kübler-Ross talking on the five stages of dying - denial, rage and anger, bargaining with God, depression, and acceptance. Ted’s bargaining with God was a disaster. “I don’t believe in God or the so-called hereafter,” he said, and he was now totally depressed.
No one ever dies alone, and this was true for Ted. His hospital room was bounding with spirits. One very dominant woman in spirit stood on the other side of the bed. A rosy-red hefty face, her sleeves rolled up above the elbows, she said: “Tell Ted to get crackin’.”
I relayed the message, and described the woman in spirit--she looks like the traditional Irish Washerwoman. Ted’s eyes regarded me suspiciously. “Sounds like granny. She lived in Nova Scotia. I lived with her as a kid.”
“On your seventh birthday you caught your arm in my mangle,” said Granny. “And that was a to-do.”
“That’s Granny!” Suddenly, Ted was more than interested. I described some of the spirits manifesting in the room, and he quickly recognized departed relatives and an old school pal killed in an auto accident.
Ted was convinced, but suddenly developed a great thirst for knowledge. I spent two afternoons conversing with Ted about the world of Spirit, the Other Side, and how this all coincided with the ancient teachings. “It makes so much sense,” he said, tears flowing down his pale face. “Why didn’t someone tell me all this before?” I didn’t answer. The changing mist of doubts had vanished at a breath, and the mountain peaks of eternal truth had started to appear. He was now in the Acceptance stage. He was at peace with himself, and his family. Five days later he passed over. And Granny, the Irish Washerwoman, was waiting along with the others.
Considering that death exempts no one, it is important that we are able to face death wisely. The leading cause of fear is ignorance and fear of the unknown. Other major factors are: attachment, or the fear of losing people and possessions; lack of preparation by loved ones who may be dependent upon the dying person; and unexpressed emotions and feelings, and feeling guilty for unresolved situations. These are the basic points traditional counselors recognize. .
But Modern Spiritualism is able to go further. Scientific research, particularly that carried out by Dr. Raymond Moody and Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, on common experiences of people who have undergone clinical death and lived again. In near-death experience, people see themselves separate from the physical body, and view what is happening around them. Their descriptions of what they saw and heard are often quite easily validated, in spite of the fact they were clinically dead. In addition to this, mediums are able to convey accurate and meaningful messages from departed loved ones.
Spiritualism removes all fear of death. It opens the windows of the spirit world, and the light floods in. It teaches that death is not the cessation of life, but mere change of condition. It teaches that there is no dreaded judgment day, but that man, through what he sows, creates his own negative or positive living.
In essence, Modern Spiritualism teaches people not only how to die but how to live. This was aptly expressed by Michel Eyquem de Montaigne, the 16th century French essayist, “He who should teach men to die, would, at the same time, teach them to live.”