Separating the physical from the spiritual.
I desire compassion...I am compassionate.
I desire generosity...I am generous.
I desire riches...I am wealthy.
I desire an abundance of love...I am loving.
All along ,what I have desired and sought throughout this world in others, has been here. All of these desires, and much more, dwell inside of me.
I have fervently sought to find my birth father for many years, making friends along the way, learning techniques in discovering genealogy, and assisting others in finding their lost loved ones. I found my birth father and we were united, but my destiny was still not very clear. I needed to find who I was, or who I thought I would be able to relate to. Desparately, I sought my birth mother and found her on many occasions because I felt that I needed answers to who I was or to who I should become. She is in no position to give me any clues or answers to my questions.
I wanted to find the reasons why I felt that I lacked so much in my life, why I struggled so hard, and why I was born into this world only to be neglected by my own birth parents.
I searched into the hearts, the minds, and actions of many others through personal encounters, reading material, professional counseling, films, and anything else that would help me to discover myself. All the while, hoping to find that mysterious gift of desires that I felt I deserved, and possibly earned through having lived a tormented childhood. Guilt overwhelmed me at times because I knew that everyone born of the flesh had a story to tell, a trauma to overcome, and of course, some were worse than my own.... So, who was I to complain?!
What I have desired to find in others so that I might receive these perfect gifts have manifested in me throughout my life. I am all that I desired and searched for!
I have put my faith in the Most High, our Heavenly Creator, and requested knowledge with a sincere heart in my prayers. With a spiritual beckoning, I have discovered my divine plan and desired destiny. I am all that I desire, ever growing, learning, forgiving, exploring, and strengthening a perfect love. I am courage. I am peace.
I continue opening my heart to others seeking the same likeness, thereof. Anger, envy, self-pity, greed, resentment and any other ugly and destructive force is NOT alllowed; but will be acknowledged as lessons to guard and keep LOVE from danger. I shall gracefully and humbly take the risks upon this earth and forgiveness is due when needed.
I appreciate all of you who have journeyed with me upon these paths. I truly thank all of you who saw the "good fruits" of my spirit even when I was blind to them by my own obstacles. You lovingly felt the "treasures" that I possessed and believed in my strengths even when I felt defeated... You encouraged, inspired, and enlightened my ways. You, also, being others, have taught me lessons that I acknowldge are part of humanity. I cried.
Now, I must ask for each of you to forgive me when I caused harm to your hearts! Please, do not regret...just know that each of you are special to me.
I am love
and I am peace
in this divine plan.
I embrace each of you, who desire to be embraced, with pure love and peace.