Writing Your Stories
by
R. J. Brown
"We all need to tell our story and... understand... cope with death... we all need help in our passages from birth to life and then to death. We need for life to signify, to touch the eternal, to understand the mysterious, to find out who we are." Bill Moyers in THE POWER OF MYTH.
Have you ever wanted to tell the stories of your life? Or your spouse's? Parents'? Even your children's? Do you want your grandkids to know their family’s stories? Have people told you you really should write your memoir because your life has been so interesting?
With all this blather & hype about how we Oldies & Goldies should keep our minds sharp by learning something new, why not write the book of your life?
What’s a memoir?
Told in stories, it's a record of events in a person's life based on experiences, observations & knowledge. Sometimes they're about war, escape, danger, abuse, politics, immigration, criminal things, illness, religion. Sometimes they're about work, families, relationships, marriages, deaths & births.
The memories of ordinary people who publish their own words are just as interesting as the often ghost-written ones of celebs. More so, because these people are not professional writers nor public figures.
Two examples of manly memoirs are: Henri Charriere's awesome 1968 bestselling PAPILLON & Larry Cuocci's A VERY GOOD YEAR.
Two examples of womanly memoirs are: SEARCHING FOR A MUSTARD SEED: One Young Widow's Unconventional Story by Miriam Sagan & PURSUIT OF FREEDOM: A True Story Of The Enduring Power Of Hope And Dreams by Susanne M. Reyto.
POD Publishing
Nowadays it’s quite easy, fast & not too expensive for amateur writers to get their words in print via POD (Print On Demand) & as with anything: Buyer Beware! Do your homework. I use the word "amateur" because most POD memoirists think they have only one story. Some recount the event that rocked their world, others want to tell about their whole life.
When I was a fierce & fond reviewer & editor, I focused on writers who didn’t have an agent & therefore a major publisher. I’d often get emails asking if I taught how to write memoirs. I didn't, so I studied & read a lot on how & how not to. I wrote editorials for my website about what I'd learnt. Even wrote my own memoir, STANDING THE WATCH: The Greatest Gift, about our Poppa & the last years of his long life.
A good guide
WRITING YOUR LIFE: An Easy-to-Follow Guide to Writing An Autobiography by Mary Borg. Cottonwood Press. I like this one because it's spiral bound & light on the lectures & language. Mary Borg also published a book for young people, so once you've tried your hand at your memories, or as you write them, you could turn on your kids, & grandkids. Why? Because it promotes thinking Big Thoughts. You know, the ones about what it's like to be alive.
Pen & paper
Buy a bunch of composition books & easy writing pens. Henri Charriere literally penned his memories (in French, naturally. I read a translation) into such books with Biros = ballpoint pens to us Americans, then...
1. Set aside quiet time to write every day.
2. Dedicate each book to a decade. Don't worry about recording your stories as they happened, chronologically. Instead, when the memory comes grab the right book, open to a fresh page, date it — both today's date & when it happened, & start writing.
3. Write EVERYTHING down: stories, scenes, conversations, events, ceremonies, sayings, things, sounds, songs, scents, fabrics, clothes, cars, feelings, weather. You may not use all of it, however, it's good for getting the juices going.
The first time you write, don't worry about grammar or spelling: you'll have plenty of chances later for that. Now is the time to write those stories!
What writers say
After I'd reviewed their books, I asked several people who published their (or someone else’s) memoirs these questions:
1. In what medium did you write or record?
2. How did you know where to start & where to end?
3. When did you know you had the first draft?
4. What would you say to someone thinking about writing their memoir?
Louise Franklin Sheehy, author of I HAVEN'T TALKED ABOUT THIS BEFORE: The Story of a Family's Journey into the World of Cancer, answered this way:
"I used my laptop computer — the content had been marinating for 34 years. I walked on the beach for a long time, got quiet, went to sleep, woke up, sat down and started typing. The story wrote itself in one sitting. All I wanted to tell was some background history of our family and then focus on the nine month period from my son's diagnosis to his death.
Decide if there's a specific episode that was pivotal in your life story and write all about that. It's not necessary to account for everything that happened in your life from day one to the present, unless you're writing a genealogy or history. If it's a memoir, tell the juicy story that punched you in the solar plexus when it happened."
On living long
If you've lived more than three score years the "when, where, who, how & why" of your birth is ancient history to anyone under 40. They're so focused on their future, they don't have time for the past. Another decade or so they'll be where you are, & you'll be long gone.
Don't you want your life to be remembered? Even if it's "just" for your family? Writing about what you know, what you've gone through, what you've done will be one of the most healing, rewarding & tough things you'll ever do.
Three POD WWII memoirs I like because they are evocative & earnest:
A CORPORAL'S WAR by Pauline Hayton, daughter of an English Royal Engineer in the Far East.
ABANDONED ON BATAAN by Oliver "Red" Allen, his teenage (‘41-‘45) years as a POW.
THE SANDSCRAPERS by Griffin T. Garnett, Jr., the fictionalized life & times of the WWII LSMs in the Pacific written by one who was there.
R. J. Brown was Founder, Editor & Publisher of the award-winning book review site RebeccasReads.com. The second expanded edition of her book STANDING THE WATCH: The Greatest Gift garnered First Place in the ReaderViews 2009 Choice Awards. Her first work of fiction, THE DEAD HUSBAND: A Sally Sees Cozy Mystery now in print. Her website is: www.rjbrownbooks.com
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