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Meg Leigh

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11 Points Against Same Sex Marriage - A Considered Response
by Meg Leigh   
Rated "PG" by the Author.
Last edited: Saturday, November 15, 2008
Posted: Saturday, November 15, 2008

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My answer to Dr James Dobson's 11 Points against Same Sex Marriage

In October 2007, Dr. James Dobson of Focus on the Family posted 11 arguments against Same-sex marriage. Since then, many sincere Christians and websites have 'spoken out' against same-sex marriage, using the 11 arguments against same-sex marriage to be found here: 32427.cfm

This article, written by Dr James Dobson, outlines 11 out of fifty points that the good doctor claims he could write a book on.

1.      Traditonal Marriage Rates will decline, if Same-sex couples are permitted to marry.

Dr Dobson tries to make the point that we have seen how marriage has declined and broken down in Scandinavian countries since the governments of these countries decided to sanction same-sex de-facto relationships. 

Although Dr Dobson doesn't actually present any statistical data to support this claim, one can only assume he is drawing on the claims of Fox News Host Bill O'Reilly who claimed that 

"in Sweden, marriage between men and women declined drastically since gay marriage was legalized there."

Sounds like a good argument, until one does some very quick and simple - we're talking Google here - checks into that information.


A search for the decline of marriage in Scandinavian countries since gay marriage was sanctioned gave me an article from and I quote:


"Fox News host Bill O'Reilly falsely claimed that in Sweden, "marriage between men and women declined drastically since gay marriage was legalized there." "These stats are irrefutable. They're government statistics," O'Reilly insisted.

In fact, recent demographics show that since Sweden passed its 1994 "Registered Partnership Law" establishing same-sex civil unions, marriage rates have increased. O'Reilly's false claim was apparently a reference to an argument by Stanley Kurtz, a research fellow at the conservative Hoover Institution. But Kurtz's analysis of the statistics has been debunked.


Despite O'Reilly's claims, "gay marriage" per se is not legal in Sweden, or in other Scandinavian countries. Those countries have versions of civil union laws that offer both heterosexual and homosexual unmarried couples most of the same rights as heterosexual married couples."

Perhaps before he writes that book, Dr. Dobson would like to check his facts.

2: Children will suffer most.

Again without any solid statistics to back him up - and how could he find any since all of this is conjecture anyway - Dr Dobson states unequivocally that:

"children will suffer most from the legalization of same-sex unions. His dire predictions include everything from gender confusion and promiscuity to the horrendous thought of a new husband in a future generation being faced with the prospect of having four or six or eight mother-in-laws!"


First of all, as I have already said, this is pure conjecture. Also, this is happening today anyway. How many people have you heard of in your lifetime who have been married two, three, four or more times? King Henry the Eighth is one prime example of this and Actress Elizabeth Taylor another. The offspring of these two people alone would have had multiple step-parents and their children's wives and husbands multiple parents-in-law. It doesn't take the legalization of same-sex marriage to bring about such problems for children. The thing about kids is - peanut butter notwithstanding (see Dobson's comment on kids who eat the same brand for years) - they can and do adapt to change admirably. More easily than some adults in fact.

Thousands of studies have shown that children thrive best in an atmosphere of love, nurture care and security and these things can be provided for just as well by same-sex, as by opposite sex parents.

Perhaps Dr Dobson would like to come down from his ivory tower and visit with some of these so-called perverted individuals and meet their families.

3: Public Schools in every state will embrace homosexuality

Again, pure conjecture. I do believe that most schools have at least some autonomy on how to mould their curriculum. What is the matter, anyway, with an honest and open discussion of human sexuality? I was taught all about heterosexuality in school and it didn't make me straight! I doubt that any child is going to suddenly decide they're gay, just because "Teacher told me about it and it sounded cool!"

Perhaps Dr Dobson would like to enter into some meaningful dialogue with homosexuals raised under the current school system and find out whether their orientation was affected or not by what they learned in school?

4: Adoption laws will immediately be obsolete


"From the moment that homosexual marriage becomes legal, courts will not be able to favor a traditional couple of one man and one woman in matters of adoption. Children will be placed in homes with parents representing only one sex on an equal basis with those having a mom and a dad. Even the polyamorous couples won’t be excluded. The prospect of fatherless and motherless children will not be considered in the evaluation of eligibility. It will be the law."


Has anyone asked for a change of the adoption laws? I think that we're all in agreement about most points of the adoption screening process, except where they exclude anyone from adopting on the basis of prejudice. A court could rule in favour of the male-female couple adopting with precedence over a same-sex couple based on any number of things other than their gender and or orientation, and that would be considered fair and lawful. The prospect of fatherless and motherless children also exists under the current status quo. Adoptive parents are just as likely to die, to divorce, or to be abducted by aliens whether they are same or opposite gender. That won't change.

Perhaps Dr Dobson would like to take a closer look at the current status quo and find out how many adoptive children wind up fatherless or motherless as it stands?



5. Foster-care programs will be impacted dramatically.


"Foster-care parents will be required to undergo “sensitivity training” to rid themselves of bias in favor of heterosexuality, and will have to affirm homosexuality in children and teens. Moral training, at least as it applies to sexuality, will be forbidden. Again, this is the current law in California."


 I don't know what kind of a country those Americans are running, but in Australia our anti-discrimination laws already cover this. A foster parent is not supposed to be biased, they're supposed to be a parent! A real and loving parent doesn't condemn his or her child to eternal hellfire if that child is gay.

Seems like, in America, this is considered to be the appropriate response.

Perhaps Dr Dobson would like to justify the stance that says that it is okay to attempt to brainwash (morally train/retrain) a young person in relation to his or her sexual orientation?

6: The health care system will stagger and perhaps collapse.


"This could be the straw that breaks the back of the insurance industry in Western nations, as millions of new dependents become eligible for coverage. Every HIV-positive patient needs only to find a partner to receive the same coverage as offered to an employee. It is estimated by some analysts that an initial threefold increase in premiums can be anticipated; even with that, it may not be profitable for companies to stay in business."


Wow and I thought medicare was weak in Australia!

That point aside, where are the statistics to prove this?

Medical insurance companies have fail-safes in place regarding stuff like this. There is that whole "preexisting condition" clause for one.

Perhaps Dr Dobson would care to name one or two of these analysts and provide us with a means to access their findings?

7. Social Security will be severely stressed.


"Again, with millions of new eligible dependents, what will happen to the Social Security system that is already facing bankruptcy? If it does collapse, what will that mean for elderly people who must rely totally on that meager support? Who is thinking through these draconian possibilities as we careen toward “a brave new world”?"


The social security systems in most countries are already in danger of collapse anyway. if this kind of strain was added, it would only hasten the inevitable. Governments need to come up with long-term, reasonable and rational solutions to the social security quandary, they do not need to pander to this kind of alarmist fear-mongering by making or repealing laws that really have not a lot to do with the social security crises.

Perhaps Dr Dobson would like to stop flogging this particular dead horse before he needs medical treatment for a hernia? It ain't getting up, Doc.

8. Religious freedom will almost certainly be jeopardized.


"In order to get a perspective on where the homosexual activist movement is taking us, one can simply look at our neighbors to the north. Canada is leading the way on this revolutionary path. I could cite dozens of examples indicating that religious freedom in that country is dying. Indeed, on April 28, 2004, the Parliament passed bill C 250, which effectively criminalized speech or writings that criticize homosexuality. Anything deemed to be “homophobic” can be punished by six months in prison or by other severe penalties.


Pastors and priests in Canada are wondering if they can preach from Leviticus or Romans 1 or other passages from the writings of the apostle Paul."


Of course they can, if they actually make an honest analysis of these passages, they'll be surprised to learn, no doubt, that they actually speak against ritual prostitution in temples dedicated to idols. No one's going to find that homophobic, although, you might on the odd occasion get a law suit thrown at you by some irate high priestess of Athena or somesuch. *shrug*

Perhaps Dr Dobson would like to quit spreading the fallacy that the Bible addresses loving, committed monogamous same-sex relationships and shock the heck out of me?

9. Other nations are watching our march toward homosexual marriage and will follow our lead.

Oh yeah! Silly me! I totally forgot that the whole world marches to the beat of the American drum!

Fortunately for the world, there are some world leaders who can lead their countries without the US President jerking their strings.

This one doesn't even rate a longer response.

Perhaps Dr Dobson would like to look around and see which of the world superpowers (UK for instance) have actually stepped out of beat to the American drum and made a decision on this for themselves?

 10. The gospel of Jesus Christ will be severely curtailed.


"The family has been God’s primary vehicle for evangelism since the beginning. Its most important assignment has been the propagation of the human race and the handing down of the faith to our children."


If this is so, I am struck dumb with astonishment to think that the Scripture passages telling evangelists to remain single are still allowed in the bible!

I didn't count it amongst my bounden duties as a parent to hand down my faith to my children. My kids have their own faith and their own belief in God, which has developed independently of anything I have done. This is preferable, in my opinion, to expecting them to become non-thinking blindly following clones of myself.

Perhaps Dr Dobson would like to come meet these children of a perverse and sick woman, and find out for himself how well adjusted they are? (don't take that as an invitation, Doc. I have cautioned my kids against talking to strange men!)

11. The culture war will be over, and the world may soon become “as it was in the days of Noah” (Matthew 24:37).


"This is the climactic moment in the battle to preserve the family, and future generations hang in the balance. This apocalyptic and pessimistic view of the institution of the family and its future will sound alarmist to many, but I think it will prove accurate unless — unless — God’s people awaken and begin an even greater vigil of prayer for our nation. That’s why we are urgently seeking the Lord’s favor and asking Him to hear the petitions of His people and heal our land. As of this time, however, large segments of the church still appear to be unaware of the danger; its leaders are surprisingly silent about our peril (although we are tremendously thankful for the efforts of those who have spoken out on this issue)."


Which gives me to hope that Dr Dobson and his ilk are a minority and that the majority of thinking Christians and their leaders understand that the world has grown and changed and continues to grow and change. One can only hope and pray that is the case and that those who will not work with those changes will be left behind in the churning foam of irrelevance that such fundamentalism has become.




Web Site: Meg Leigh

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Reviewed by Randall Barfield 11/15/2008
Too many of these so-called religious ones, male and female, are the biggest hypocrites you ever laid eyes on. I grew up intimately with them. Many times some of their best friends are adulterers. Go figure! I'm not condoning anyone going against God's laws. I'm condemning, as I've done many times, these hypocrites who categorize sin and point their fingers at one or two sins and "look the other way" at other sins. Disgusting.
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