OOOH DON'T DO THAT!: THE MYTH OF BLACK SEXUAL TABOOS
In Uptown and the suburb of Waukegan where I was raised, there were mostly black women running the households. Daddies were AWOL like a mothafucka. Sex wasn't a sheathed converation topic though.
I heard a lot about it from various mouths, whether through ease dropping, direct conversation, or men in the family talking freely about it when the ladies weren't around, before I even had pubic hair.
The excitement in the voices of those around me he spoke about it made me excited to get to it at some point. They talked about exploits with the hypeness little kids talk about new toys they have acquired, or trips to some amusement park.
They weren't ever lyin' either.
On the male side of things, sex with white girls was an interesting topic to me. The speculations and testimonies of grown men as well as boys my own age. There was supposedly a lot of things they were willing to do, even enjoyed doing, that black women weren't trying to hear.
The first, was "getting head", "getting the dome polished", or rawly put,"gettin' yo dick sucked". I was led to believe that this was not an activity to try to engage a black woman in.
This conception was shattered though as soon as I reached puberty. I musty have got head from a black girl at least ten times before I was 17.
As a matter of fact, the first time I got naked with a girl I got some head...and it was good too. After she did me she showed me how to do her. She was very patient with me too, telling me exactly where to go , what to do...how much pressure to apply.
The second was anal sex. I was lead to believe that black women , or at least a huge portion of them don't believe in letting a man go up into their rectum. I really believed this one because I had actually heard many conversations about it, on the sneak, around some of my older cousins, or young aunts and uncles. Many of them found it disgusting.
" That's for gay people. I don't want nothin' goin' up in my booty!"
...I've heard snapped out disgustedly from a few.
The third, or fourth time I had sex with a sister though, it was part of her criteria. In fact, she enjoyed it more that way than the natural way. It bugged me out too, overwhelmed me. she was able to be enetered there from many positions.
She was dark skinned and very ghetto.
I enjoyed having sex with her that way too, but not more than the normal way, if you will.
The last taboo was really off target.
" A good black woman don't want your mouth on her coochie", an uncle gave me this tarnished jewel.
I ate pussy the first time I had sex. I may not have known what I was doing then, but i sure was enthusiastic to explore. It looked like a purple flower to me...from another planet. I was fascinated and felt compelled to do it.
I would never be that free in these days and times.
Don't get me wrong though. I have met a lot of black women who DO think all the above acts are disgusting. I have been with a few.
I have found though, that the few I have been with, don't mind whatever it is you want to do to the as long as their is a real commitment and a strong lean toward safety and respect...oh. and of course, as long as the pleasure they recieve from it is worth it.
So what is the real deal.
Do all these things go on in black bedrooms more than we are willing to admit? Or do stereotypes and myths really hinder us from experiencing as much physical pleasure as our black bodies will allow?
MORE TO COME...