Join (Free!) | Login  

     Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
   Services MarketPlace (Free to post!)
Where Authors and Readers come together!


Featured Authors:  Deborah Frontiera, iFrank Whyte, irichard cederberg, iIolanthe Woulff, iP. G. Shriver, iStacey Chillemi, iJean-Pierre Gregoire, i

  Home > Action/Thriller > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Henry L. Lefevre

· Become a Fan
· Contact me
· Success story
· Books
· Articles
· Poetry
· News
· Stories
· Blog
· Messages
· 187 Titles
· 662 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
Member Since: Before 2003


Subscribe to the Henry L. Lefevre Newsletter. Enter your name and email below and click "sign me up!"
Henry L. Lefevre, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.

Featured Book
The Bearwalker's Daughter
by Beth Trissel

A Handsome frontiersman, Mysterious Scots-Irish Woman, Shapeshifting Warrior, Dark Secret, Pulsing Romance…The Bearwalker’s Daughter..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Featured Book
Forsaken Brethren Series Twin Pack
by Sky Purington

Two edge-of-your-seat, sizzling hot vampire tales...  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

   Recent articles by
Henry L. Lefevre

First Things First
Squirrel Gymnastics
Let's Beat Down The Fittest
Writing a Column
Words of Wisdom
Hazardous Humor
The Wonderful World of Computers
The Quest For Pelican Lake(s)
A Ghost Invaded Our Pond
Santa's Got Problems
My Veteran's Day Prayer
Halloween Masks
           >> View all

Election Alert -- Vote For Humorous_sage
By Henry L. Lefevre   
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last edited: Monday, September 11, 2006
Posted: Monday, September 11, 2006

Share    Print   Save    Become a Fan

The elections are coming. Be sure to vote for humorous_sage both early and often.

Asking for help from a bureaucracy is like working your way through a 12-mile maze. The length is only part of the problem. Each bureaucrat gleefully creates at least two dozen barriers. Supervisors create 92.

What this country needs is a candidate capable of solving the government's poor customer relations. Therefore, I'm offering my name as a write-in candidate for Congress. Don't worry about district. Any constituency will do.

If elected, I promise:

1. To eliminate the use of unintelligible menus on all government telephones. In addition, intelligible menus will be limited to 49 choices. Once callers to government offices have tried all 49, they should be allowed to talk to a knowledgeable human.

2. When customer service personnel feel compelled to cuss someone out, they will be required to turn down the volume so that innocent workers in neighboring buildings don't get scared out of their wits.

3. No customer service worker will be allowed to yell "drop dead," no matter how obnoxious the customer gets. Elderly people are accustomed to taking orders and some might comply. Then, the government is apt to be sued.

4. When government offices can't respond within five hours, the callers will be provided with laptop computers in order to surf the web while waiting. Some of the government's customers might even find an acceptable answer without resorting to human intervention, thereby reducing the government's customer-service workload.

5. As backup, I will ensure that the government provides shaving gear to men waiting in line for more than 48 hours. That way, they won't trip over their beards once their names get to the top of the list. Waiting women will get cosmetic kits.

6. I will fund the development of phone systems that turn on a siren after 36 rings.

7. I will eliminate all robots and hold buttons from the customer-service phone lines. Few robots have the right answers and hold buttons cut off customers 89-percent of the time

8. I will lead the government back to the good old days when top management sent their subordinates to "charm schools." Interns won't be allowed to escape until they learned how to treat their customers right. Projected plans for FY 2022 will call for sending all government managers to charm school as well.

9. As a man of the people, I will evaluate the impact of this latest customer awareness program on a day-by-day basis. I am also soliciting feedback on the above platform. If you have any worthy ideas, please send them to me via registered mail.



Trash Bin 334-124-1197

Washington, D.C.

Reader Reviews for "Election Alert -- Vote For Humorous_sage"

Want to review or comment on this article?
Click here to login!

Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!

Reviewed by Michael Guy 12/5/2007
Funny, but you forgot to mentiion how they manage affairs thru the mail: such as SSA matters, Medicare, etc. Talk about snafu's and redundant forms. Or are you perfectly healthy?
Reviewed by Jennifer Butler 9/11/2006
Very humorous.

Books by
Henry L. Lefevre

A Spoonful of Humor

Buy Options
Amazon, Barnes & Noble, more..

The Good and The Bad News About Quality

Buy Options
Amazon, Barnes & Noble, more..

Quality Service Pays

Buy Options
Amazon, Barnes & Noble, more..

Government Quality and Productivity -- Success Stories

Buy Options
Amazon, Barnes & Noble, more..

13 Cars in 13 Years by Herman Yenwo

This book is an action packed thriller that will hold your attention as you read to various dramatic events written in chronological order...  
Featured BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Cooking by the Book by Carolyn HowardJohnson

Readers will love the recipes and excerpts. Writers will love this sample of cross promotion!..  
Featured BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us

Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.