Join (Free!) | Login  

     Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
   Services MarketPlace (Free to post!)
Where Authors and Readers come together!


Featured Authors:  Mike Hartner, iByron Edgington, iVaughn Aiken, iLynn Friess, iTheodore Soderberg, iGerald Grantham, iM. Andrew Sprong, i

  Home > Crime > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Daniel Santiago

· Become a Fan
· Contact me
· Books
· Articles
· 14 Titles
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
Member Since: Jan, 2009

Daniel Santiago, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.

   Recent articles by
Daniel Santiago

Poor Man's Arsenal
Survival Source List
Alternate Economics of Bartering
The Connection Between Cartoons and Drug Use
Scavenging For Fun and Profit
Suffer The Children Again
Why I love the TV news.
Doktor's Words of Wisdom
Scanning 101
Millenium Madness Goes Bust
Survival Fantasy vs. Survival Reality
The Enemy Within - from Poison Pen #3
           >> View all

A Message To All Potential Felons
By Daniel Santiago   
Rated "PG13" by the Author.
Last edited: Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Posted: Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Share    Print   Save    Become a Fan

Article from Poison Pen #1



Crime doesn't pay?! Whatever stupid ass said that didn't know where to shop. In my twnety-two years of existence I've only been busted for (DELETED- it's in the original zine but I'm not about to post my rap sheet online- it's nothing violent or sexual and no drugs that's all I'm telling you). However, according to the laws of the United States I should have been prosecuted on multiple charges of (DELETED- see above) but I've never been caught! Haha!! How does one accomplice such a feat? Following the doktor's seven kommandments should help keep you out of jail.

Kommandment I - Thou shalth keep thy fucking mouth shut. Take a clue from 'Fight Club'. The first rule of commiting crimes, you don't talk about commiting crimes. Not before or after. If I had a quarter for ever time someone bragged about a good score with and getting busted soon after... well you know the rest.

Kommandment II- Thou shalth alter thy appearance. This can be simple or komplicated depending on the crime and your general appearance. Usually the use of glasses, sunglasses, hats, bandanas, and the like will suffice. Any distiguishing marks such as large scars or birthmarks, missing teeth or fingers, gold teeth, tatooes, piercings, facial hair, accented speech, etc. must be disguised.

Kommandment III- Thou shalth be fucking sober. Believe me there is nothing worst than being drunk or high and trying pull off a smooth crime. If you are fucked up you WILL make stupid mistakes like forgeting the other kommandments. In fact the only time I got caught was when I violated Kommandment III.

Kommandment IV-Thou shalth leave no fucking evidence. This includes but is not limited to foorprints, fingerprints, bloodstains, toolmarks, paint, hair, mud/ soil, tiretracks, photos, remaining weapons, drugs, firearm shells, documents, clothing, cigarette butts, glass, insulation fibers.

Kommandment V- Thou shalth plead non-guilty if caught.

Kommandment VI-Thou shalth avoid using public defender if caught.

Kommandment VII- Thou shalth think before doing the crime. Plan carefully, do your homework, and if it doesn't feel right don't do it. Think with the right head (yeah the one on your shoulders not the other one).


Web Site: Best of Poison Pen

Want to review or comment on this article?
Click here to login!

Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!

The Hit-and-Run Man by Derrick Bickley

Respectable, law-abiding, now a man with a gun and a mission. A tough, action-packed thriller that blazes a trail of seduction, blackmail and murder from the sultry summer heat of ..  
Featured BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Only Yesterdays by Dominic Caruso

This book is the fruition of a 1960 promise I made to my father to do his side of this family tragedy in book form. Having produced it in book form, It is now in ebook format...  
Featured BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us

Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.