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Duke LaRance

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I Wouldn't Be Caught Dead Driving a Chrysler Product
By Duke LaRance   
Rated "PG" by the Author.
Last edited: Sunday, May 15, 2011
Posted: Sunday, May 15, 2011

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Dear Click and Clack....

This can be verified with sworn affidavits.

The recent question regarding a belt slipping off a 1998 Chrysler minivan whenever a single drop of water got on it filled me with disgust and revulsion (again).

I owned a Dodge Caravan of similar vintage. One fine Sunday morning, the steering wheel came off. while I was turning onto a highway from a city street. I managed to stop on the highway about halfway through my turn.

While I was standing there thankful that I wasn’t going 100 mph through a tight S curve, a family heading for church in a neighboring town stopped and we pushed my van right back to where I had been at the stop sign, sans steering wheel. Before these fine folks headed off down the highway, I imagined that they were feeling queasy since they were also in a Caravan.

A friend happened by just then, and as we were contemplating the great mysteries of the universe, another man who owned a bulk plant stopped. He loaned me a large crescent wrench to steer with. I drove to another friend’s house and he gave me a short tire iron that fit the (former) steering wheel nut perfectly.

I cruised here and there for quite awhile using my steering iron, including, but not limited to down the highway. I finally went to a salvage yard and bought a steering wheel taken from a Caravan crumpled up like a piece of aluminum foil.

From that day on until the day that my Caravan was repo’ed, I felt a dead man’s hands touching mine every time I gripped that wheel.



duke larance -- the drugstore cowboy poet 

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Reviewed by - - - - - TRASK 5/15/2011
Since 1980 Frames Inverted Then Disappeared:Simply They All Cars Are $50,000 Beer Cans On Wheels-No Undercar Frames- Bumpers,Trunks,
Fire Walls,No Brackets Nuts Safety Bolts Or Springs -Shot In Burning Foam Insulation-Water Base Paints- Exploding Gas Tanks And:

Air Bags In Your Face..You Didn't Know That -Huh?

GMC Start Remove Bumpers From Corvettes 1974...

And US.Gov Calls Them **Cash $ For Clunkers...

IDIOTS: **Trade 97 Corvettes 1953 to 1982 Destroyed In Lieu Of..
Worth Million$ In Classic (Well Made Expensive) Cars Down Toilets...

Reviewed by Ed Matlack 5/15/2011
Hey Dude, good to see you writing once in awhile...that is one experience I have never heard of before though I have heard of alot of crazy stuff with regards ALL cars...I think every so often the builders just have a lax day and these parts are just not put together too well...but they would likely blame the robotic machinery that puts our cars together...Hey, stop in every so often, you are missed otherwise...Ed
Reviewed by D Johnson 5/15/2011
Wow, Duke, did you really send this to Click & Clack, if so what was their reply? Great article, even though I have to admit I have had more problems with GM'S and Ford's than I have with Chrysler products...good stuff.


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