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Stacey Chillemi

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Letting your worries go free seems easier said than done, but with these techniques you can learn to let go of your worries and live stress-free.



In this day in age, we tend to have so many responsibilities that leach to us each day. We worry about work, our families, paying the bills, getting the mortgage out on time, and surprise obstacles that tend to find us even though we do not want them too.
How are we supposed to live a happy, healthy, productive life when we have so many worries and responsibilities daily? Is the concept, “stress-free lifestyle” a reality or just a joke?
For many years, I searched and researched techniques to release stress and live happily in a stress-free environment. I felt like a “prisoner” of worries.” Each day I work up feeling tense from all the worrying. The worries I had the day before and would just add on to previous worries that carried on from the day before. This was no way to live.   At night, I would try to rest in my bed and I could feel my heart pounding from all my worries. My stomach always felt like it was knotted up.
I was living in what I call a “daze of worries.” Always consumed with a head full of worries in the back of your head. You are focusing on work, and your family, but at the same time, you are thinking about all the issues that cause you to worry consistently. Is this anyway to live? How are you supposed to live a happy filling life when you are stuck in this unhealthy state of mind?
When you are in this “daze of worries,” worries and emotions take over and slowly begin to control your life.   You forget about love between you and your loved ones; you forget about the beauty of life and nature, which surrounds you; you forget the vital goodness and wholeness.  You expect trouble and are unable to live in the present moment
Brain chemistry and genetics may be a factor to a person’s excessive worrying, and it can be fueled by societal circumstances, such as the perception of not making a deadline at work.   Traumatic childhood experiences can also be a reason for worrying a lot. Even if your childhood does not play, a role in your worrying behavior on reason for worrying all the time is because you may not feel like you are good enough.
Worrying itself is a natural and necessary part of life. All people experience themselves as separate “me” and “the world outside that surrounds me.” It is this concept that makes you realize that others in the outside world can hurt you or the people who you love.   You begin to realize that others can harm you.
At the same time, you are taught to keep yourself safe, and it is that worrying inside you that signals you to respond when a threat of some sort arises. The signal makes you stop when you see a red light or a person crossing. The signal tells you to call for help if you feel faint.
The problem is that worrying usually works overtime. Think about all the time you have wasted worrying. Think back for a second and you will realize that most of the things you worried about turned out fine.   Moments that could have been used to experience precious moments full of love with those special people in your life, creativity, and peace and joy, but instead they were taken over by worries.
As you face your worries with courage and kindness, you discover the real you. A person filled with love, and kindness. A person with wonderful qualities, but unfortunately they were buried by worries.   This awareness is the wake up call to the first step of healing. This is the step toward living a life of freedom and love. You will no longer be a prisoner of your own worries.
While the basic reasoning for worrying is, something bad is going to happen. Many people turn that feeling into “there must be something wrong with me.” Especially in our society, where the pressure to achieve is so strong. You may feel like you have to live up to certain standards in order to be loved, so you can constantly monitor yourself to see if you are meeting your standards.
When you live in a life of worries, you develop ways to protect yourself. Ways to help you feel better for that moment and only that moment (a short period).   
Worrying traps the mind in rigid patterns. The mind becomes obsessive and produces endless stories, reminding you of the bad things that can happen and creating strategies to avoid them this is unhealthy behavior and become obsessive.
You may run from worries thinking if you keep yourself busy, you will not worry because you will be focusing on something else. On the other hand, you can use food, drugs and alcohol to cope with your worries. Unfortunately, many use this road to cope with their worries.
You need to bring compassion and mindfulness directly to your worries with help you get rid of the worrying. You need to go to the real cause. You need to go to your heart and meet the cause with kindness. Ask yourself, what is happening to me? Pay attention and be aware of what you are telling yourself and the feeling and sensations going on in your body. Mediation is a great way to become in contact with your inner self and the messages it is sending your mind, body, and heart.
  • Sit in a quit spot
  • Close your eyes
  • Breath slowly 20 times
  1. Ask your worries, “What do you want from me?
  2. Accept those worries that fill your soul
  3. Face them, never run from them if you stay in denial it will only worsen.
The point of this is to acknowledge your worries and accept them. (This is the first step to healing.)
Next the Love Step
We all need to feel loved and understood. This is the essence of unconditional presence, the step that can heal and rid the worries for good. Our worries play a large role in our life, but greater is the truth of our connective.
If you have been hurt by a love one you will know that other caring souls around you helping you can help you tremendously. During mediation think of these people and the support, they show you. You can learn to offer their help to yourself in your mind through mediation.
Start Mediating Each Day
Stay in connection with nature:
  • The songs of the birds
  • The trees
  • The sky
  • The flowers
  • The smell of the flowers
The challenge in facing worries is to overcome the initial reflex to dislocate from the body and stop these worries. To combat this you need to pull away from the worries. You need to shift your attention away from the worries by fully connecting your feeling and sensations in the body. By leaning in and facing the worries instead of pulling away, you discover the compassionate presence that releases you from your worries.
What to do when you worry:
  1. Pause. When you realize you are worrying, the first step is to pause – to stop your physical activity- and to create space and create space for what is happening to you.
  1. Name it. If you can name the worry, you begin to free itself from its grip. After pausing, you can note what you are aware of: “anxiety,” “racing heart,” “obsessive worries.”
  1. Remember a larger truth. When you catch yourself worrying, you forget which is scared – love, beauty, joy, happiness and the beauty that surrounds us. To meet the worries, it helps to focus on what you are missing by wasting your time worrying. This will help you develop a sense of wholeness and peace.
  1. Think of a loved one. This helps bring a sense of beauty, inspiration, belonging, safety. This allows you to feel at home, uplifted, protected, and at ease.
  1. Breathe with the worries. As you breathe in allow yourself to feel the worries fully in your body. Without ant resistance, experience pressure, tightness, heat, or chilliness. As you breathe out feel a sense of release into space sense the love of life and wholeness of life.
  1. Offer compassion. As you breathe with worries, offer a sense of care to yourself. “I care about my suffering.” Extent your compassion to others also.
  1. Turn your attention somewhere else. If you feel like your worries are to hard to handle, seek someone else for trust for support and care.
As long as you are alive, you will always worry. It is apart of life, but do not ignore your worries or let it control you, face it, accept and combat it. When you face you worries with compassion you begin to realize, as the ocean can hold the moving wave, you can hold control and combat your worries, so your can live a life with minor stresses that do affect our lives negatively. Life has three components; happy, healthy and productive.

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