It had been nearly a year and half since I had lost contact with my daughter, Rebecca Laura Holden, (this is not her birth-name) since I had taken her back to her home-state of Iowa in July of 2002.
We had had differences about the people who had adopted her back in August of 1984 in the Commonwealth of Virginia due to the state CPS agency and juvenile court system who terminated my second ex husband, Roy's and my parental rights on nothing but "the best interest of the child" standard.
Actually, no one had taken interest in adopting Rebecca, until the foster parents knew the adoptive parents and they took interest in Rebecca at age of 4.5 years old.
With that interest and the foster parents letting Fairfax County CPS know that they knew of an interested family who wanted to adopt Rebecca.
This made Fairfax County CPS move to terminated our parental rights to Rebecca.
That was in October of 1983 and we were served notices of Termination of Parental Rights and our hearing was set for November of 1983.
Well, it did not take much to terminate our parental rights and our due process of law violated. I did not know much as I know how the states will terminate parental rights just for the "Love Of Money", which is the root of all evil.
It is a great motivator. Trust me.
Well our parental rights were terminated and we appealed the decision immediately. This put a stay on the CPS/adoption placement agency to go forward with the adoption.
As this appeal reinstated our parental rights to our daughter.
Well there was no telling when our hearing was going to heard in the Circuit Court of Fairfax County.
As I sat there day by day, I pondered if I was doing the right thing as to let my daughter, Rebecca, linger into foster care limbo.
The first thing I did was to contact a very wise and smart therapist I had had in Chicago, Illinois and ask Bill if I gave up my parental rights would that make me a "chicken".
Bill's reponse was to me "No, it does not make you a chicken or a quiter", and with that I decided to contact my attorney which was appointed to me by the court and ask him to withdraw my appeal on my daughter and let whatever happens happen.
When someone really loves their children and wants what they think will be in their child's best interest . They will not put a stop to it but let it go through.
Well in January of 1984, I was sent a letter from the Fairfax County Va CPS/Adoption Division and the letter stated that Rebecca had been found an adoptive home and I was given a little information about that family, but not much.
The Fairfax County CPS/Adoption Worker assured me that this family was able to take care of a "learning disabled" child as they had two "natural"sons of their own with both this similar problem.
I was told that the father was a government worker and the mother was part-time legal secretary but she would be a stay at home mother for Rebecca and only work while Rebecca was in school.
I would have liked to know more. What I know now about these people makes me sick to death.
When a parent's parental rights are terminated it is the equivalent of the death sentence to us. It also the most cruel and unjust punishment to both a parent and a child.
When it is done to a parent. It is as good as saying the parent is dead in the eyes of state, even when there is no death certificate issued with our names on it.
To the child. It really is cruel. This is because the state is creating what is legally called a "legal"orphan.
A "legal"orphan is a child who has no parents on record. However, one thing, God made us the parents of the child and the state no matter what legal action they take can not take that way from us.
I had not heard or talked to Rebecca since August of 2002. Our conversation ended badly and I would just write her on occassion and telling her about everything. She never responded to my letters.
Well, shortly before her birthday, in December of 2003, she called me. I was not even expecting her telephone call which came in the form of a collect call.
I could not accept it as collect calls cost too much and as I was on the phone with another client as I am state coordinator for the Illinois Family Rights Association.
Rebecca called out a number but I did not have time to write it down.
Rebecca has always been a persistent young woman. She gets that from her dad, my second ex, Roy.
She called me and gave me her telephone number and all. I called her back.
Rebecca said to me "Lucie, my new therapist is a Christian and she told me to give you a second chance as you are my mother."
Lucie is my adoptive name and only people in my family and other friends call me by that way. My birth name is Karissa and I use it. It is my true identity.
We talked and she shared and everything and asked me about my sister, Anna, who is her aunt. I told her that my sister had gone off the deep end.
I told her that her uncle Cam, was in stationed in Iraq. Praise God, he is returning to the United States on February 10.
I told her that two of cousins, Elizabeth and Margaret, my sister's daughters both had three children born to them out of wedlock. All three of those children have different fathers and are of mixed heritage.
She asked me how Frank and Robert were doing? I told her both were well. She asked me how my two cats were doing?
I told her Daisy and Little Sylvester were doing fine.
Then she asked me when she was going to see me again. I told her I would try to arrange something in the spring to come and see her for a weekend.
She told me she broke up with one boyfriend and he had gotten married.
Then she asked me about Child Protection Services as she has many friends that are mental health consumers.
I told her due to the way society preceives people and I saw a post over at http://streatorground.com
about a woman who is so narrow and closed minded about those of us with a non-physical disability and how this other woman should not be able to have her child just because she is a mental health consumer.
I gave the information on CPSwatch in Iowa and told her that Iowa had more "legal" orphans within their state system and not enough people willing to adopt these legally created orphans.
She was most interested and asked since I am the state coordinator for Illinois if I could help any of her friends.
I told her I would contact the Family RIghts Advocates in her state of Iowa and have someone contact them.
Rebecca told me about how her adoptive parents regreted spending all that money on mental health care for her from the time she was placed into their home in 1984 up until 1998.
At the point, they went down and applied for Social Security Supplementary Income benefits under the disability program for her. This way they were no longer financially responsible for Rebecca and they passed the buck on to another agency to oversee what she needed and what they did not have patiences to teach her themselves.
These very people disgust me. They disgust her dad, Roy, even more.
She told me in many ways she is blessed as she has two families.
She loves both her families. The one is adopted into and the one she is born into.
She is learning that adoption is a vile,un-natural act created by state to make infertile couples parents when they are not meant to be parents in the first place.
This is a God-Given act. The state has no reason to create a family when there is not meant to be a family.
The "natural"family is one created by God and Natural and not by the state adoption laws and the adoption industry.
Preservation is the most aspect of the "true and natural"family.
Rebecca is learning about the true nature of adoption and how so many adoptive parents are now screaming "wrongful" adoption and actually throwing the children back into the same system they took them out of in the first place.
These people rescind their parental rights and they no longer take the child as "their own". As they state it is not their own and this gives them a right to give the child back to the state to raise and support.
"True and Natural" parents do not rescind their parental rights to their children. They accept them as is and don't fuse about how much they have to spend on their children, even if one of their children is special needs.
The Lord-Our God, never promised us a perfect child. There is no such thing.
Only God is perfect. Perfect in wisdom and knowledge.
We as human-beings a hopelessly flawed.
We have many short-comings.
Rebecca is coming around and I plan to go and see her in May and get some new pictures of us made too to send relatives and so forth.
I just want to share this little bit of nasty information with readers and other authors.
Rebecca and I were first reunited on September 27, 2000. We got our pictures taken and the next thing we both did is send that damn judge, GayLord Finch Jr, now presiding judge of Fairfax County Circuit Court, and the two social wreckers that tried to destroy our happy home, lives, and did actually ruin my marriage. Our new picture and a letter that stated.
You thought you could keep us apart. You thought won but you won nothing.
We are back together and nothing will ever separate us again, and we signed our names and I sent them the picture of Rebecca and I together after 17 years of being separated.
When a parent's rights are terminated. The parent will never get over the lost of the child. It is worse than death. This is because in death you are still the mother and father of that child.
Termination of parental rights due to CPS interference is hard to get over.
Especially when there is far too much emphasis placed on adoption rather than reunification of the "true and natural" family.
Our hope is that if it does happen and once our children become of age. They will want to find us again and re connect and seventy(75%)five percent of the children who are adopted do want to find one of their "true and natural" parents.
To parents: Please register your information on your state adoption registry. This way your stolen children will be able to find you.
Adult Adopted Children: Please register your information on the state adoption registry. This way your "true and natural" parents will be able to reconnect with you as well.
The other twenty(25%)five percent who don't want to find their "true and natural" parents are the ones that had a happy placement or the parents can not be found or in some instances the parents are dead.
Don't give up. It happened for me after seventeen (17)years and will for you.
God Bless and Preserve The "True and Natural"Family.