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Jerry W. Engler

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Conniving My Retirement
By Jerry W. Engler
Last edited: Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Posted: Tuesday, October 26, 2010

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Jerry W. Engler

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This is one of Jerry's columns from the Hillsboro Free Press. The newspaper copyrighted it, but permission is hereby granted to reprint it if credit is given to the Free Press and Jerry. Now that's quite an assumption, isn't it--that you would be foolishly crafty enough to reprint this???



I'm planning my retirement.

I want what I earned—even what I didn’t earn.

You see, I could get us a long way toward saving Social Security for all of us if our congressmen would listen to me.

Speaking of our representatives, that’s the other side of my retirement plot—following their lead in getting money out of the rest of you before you impose that ghastly proposal of term limits on them.

That could half ruin them and me both.

Now, we all know the most basic problem of Social Security. The young people of my own and the current generation didn’t have enough children to pay the withholding tax to support old duffers like me. They goofed, and usually don’t know it.

 Like it or not, persons who want to limit population also want to believe too many people is a basic problem.

People are the basis of wealth. There have never been too many people. It’s confused with mistakes in how to distribute and use resources—part of a learning process.

For instance, we choose to use 32 acres of dwindling land resource per mile average for four-lane interstate highways perhaps without realizing the full meaning of the choice.

 Meanwhile the Japanese and Italians have discovered they need to pay subsidies to get their people to have more children.

Most nations of the world will soon face a shortage of young people, and then who is going to pay for me?

That fits with my legislative plan for alternative retirement. I don’t have to run for congress—a state legislature would do. Of course, I must win office, then get re-elected to show I stand to keep getting elected as an incumbent.

Say I had the good sense to locate in a rural county where a wealthy company wants to do something important for it. How about a pipeline across my county? They could legally show gratitude for me helping them get a tax exemption by contributing to my re-election fund, them and quite a few other companies with other goals. The possibilities are endless.

Why, I wouldn’t expose that company’s well placed generosity even if a county commission in my area asked me to appear before it to explain what’s going on. Of course, I might have to watch some other legislator choose to talk to them, and that might be irksome.

Now, I can’t spend money right away from that re-election campaign fund. That might look like something dishonest--maybe like bribery. No, but when I leave office, all of that left-over campaign money will be mine honestly and completely. I only have to serve a few terms, and I have a beautiful retirement.

Yes, I’ll have a great retirement courtesy of you. You only have to vote for me if I choose to run under the greatest, most honest slogan you’ll ever hear—I need the money!

But back to my first concern, that one if I don’t get elected, and young people don’t have more children to support me. I do have plans to save Social Security if only they would let Jerry run the world instead of being in the state legislature.

A Wall Street advisor, a Mr. Mathias, wrote in a newsletter I receive that the only two solutions to face in the Social Security situation are higher taxes or lower benefits. No, no, no, Mr. Mathias—I want my benefits untouched and my cost of living raises on time. I worked for them, and you had better realize that.

I believe there are other solutions that had better be faced if the powers that be don't want to face a rebellion.

First, they need to pay Social Security back for all of the funds they borrowed for other programs plus interest, and that better be at least at a banking passbook rate for more than a half-century.

Second, they need to see what other programs can be dissolved, including cabinet divisions such as Education and Energy, to turn the funding to maintaining Social Security.

 Social Security has been the most successful program of government limiting poverty for the elderly, and adding stimulus funds to local economies.

 Third, they need to illustrate their commitment to taking care of America's elderly by cutting their own salaries and benefits in congress, in the executive including the president personally, and in the supreme court--as poor stewards of the program, they don't deserve much. The court needs to share the pain for its decisions.

As part of this, they need to place their own retirements within Social Security to enhance their respect for their responsibilities. They can also add the pensions for all government workers including the military into the program, and eliminate those other costly pensions.

I don’t mind if the rates are brought higher to bring these people in at their accustomed levels as long as they raise Social Security rates for all of us to the same levels.

Come to think of it, let’s add corporate bonuses to the program for sure for sure.

Other than this, don’t bother me. I’m a little grumpy about my retirement.






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Reviewed by Dawn Anderson 10/26/2010
Love the humor in this, Jerry.
Reviewed by Regis Auffray 10/26/2010
Intelligent and humorous with a lot of meaning as well; thank you for sharing, Jerry. Love and peace to you,


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