An article by Sha'Tara, local writer and friend.
Conversation with an Avatar - of Friends and Lovers
[thoughts from ~burning woman~ by Sha’Tara]
Continuing on the theme of self-discovery and subsequent self-development, what do you get when you open up your life’s book? What do you see? More importantly, what do you know for certain now, at the end of it? Interesting questions. I’ll try to touch on a couple of them.
Most lives are lived in shallow pools where the water may be rather stale but the level safely waist deep at the deepest drop. Of course the mud at the bottom tends to suck the feet in and you can’t move very fast. Also there’s the problem of crowding – since the water level and temperature is always the same, it seems a safe place to go for extended dips – for a lot of people.
Lovers: maybe someone who gets your adrenaline going when you are near? Someone you want to live with, or if not, at least have an affair with? A powerful emotional attraction?
Friends: maybe people you know and hang out with; perhaps a bulleting board scrapbook of photo memorabilia, perhaps some fridge magnet people smiling or goofing off from an obsolete occasion. Now, of course, anyone can create fake lives and fake relationships on Facebook and other such folligans. Anyone can be buried under a veritable avalanche of “friends” and “acquaintances” all over the globe – people they’ve never met, never will meet and wouldn’t recognize if they bumped into them at the hotdog stand.
What’s a friend? What’s a lover? According to my understanding, that’s someone who would not hesitate to die for you. I suppose my understanding is a bit old-fashioned for the 21st Century. But never mind that, what is the difference between a friend and a lover when all is said and done (with more said than done!)? Well, if you care to research it, the thousands of books explaining it all without explaining anything are out there gathering mold and dust. Probably there are documentaries and videos of examples of each and so on. Those of us lucky enough to be old enough may even remember the concepts discussed in class or even in church. There is the Greek legend of Damon and Pythias, for example. The Biblical story of David and Jonathan. Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. Friends and lovers.
Even if one did enter into such “perfect” relationships as history, religion, tradition and fantasy regale us with I think such a great concept should not be so limited and limiting. Why just one lover? Why only one, or a few “best” friends?
Here’s another approach you might find interesting, perhaps even applicable to your personal life. Let’s call it “Conversation with an Avatar.” Let’s say this particular Avatar made herself available to me when I asked for a deeper, more realistic, explanation of what friendship and love are supposed to be; how they are supposed to work themselves out in real life. I will be the interviewer and let the Avatar answer.
--You are an Avatar?
--If the question is applicable, how long have you been an Avatar?
--Using your time measurement, about a thousand years.
--I don’t want to drag this out, so I’ll get to my point: how did you become an Avatar? Did you begin by choosing to become an Avatar or did you do certain things that eventually got you “promoted” to the realm of the Avatars?
--I see you have been working on the subject! The answer is both, actually. Let me begin by explaining where this happened. I lived on a world very similar to yours in terms of social development. Perhaps it was a parallel Earth in a different time-line – a common enough concept to us but perhaps a bit out there for you. I was a man in that particular life and like most men, I had very powerful desires as regards the female sex. After a few disastrous love relationships I took a break from that and I had a friend or two during that time – just friendship, nothing more. A feel-good sort of thing, with both genders. After a couple of years I got the urge once again: I fell in love. I was a bit older now and had more experience. I knew that love relationships entered into just out of feeling and emotion were not conducive to success. So I decided to try something new: I would not share my feelings with the woman in question but I would make myself available to her should she ever need my help. Turned out she did and I was there for her, not for myself. Then I realized that since I had no other commitments to this woman I remained free to come and go as I pleased; to interact in any way I chose with any other person. Gradually my “lust” feelings for that woman cooled down and I fell in love again, with another woman. Again I used this attraction to offer my help without entering into any intimate relationship this time either.
I applied the same principle with the friendships I formed over the ensuing years. Eventually I discovered that I could have a number of lovers and friends without having to choose between them and without ever being a burden to them. The women I mentioned both benefited from my help and found satisfactory relationships on their own, freeing me up to move on to help other people. The process developed of its own volition and eventually I had no more need for either lovers or friends: I could no longer differentiate between individuals, whether friends, lovers, acquaintances, co-workers, strangers even. At the point of contact, all were equal to me. I “belonged” to all of them to the degree that they had need of my services and I could help them. I had reprogrammed my own ego and become a servant. That became my sole purpose for existence.
The process taught me that at a certain point in our spiritual and mental evolution we come to realize that life is all about giving. If we live in a world that is out of balance, a world where there is pain due to oppression and exploitation, we must learn how to tap into what is erroneously called “free energy” by some well-meaning but naïve individuals. Compassion, for example, is a powerful force that relies entirely on the compassionate to be able to tap into that spiritual reservoir of “free” (untapped) energy. Only the self-empowered, those committed to servanthood, can know this force and can make proper use of it. The lesser mentally and spiritually evolved beings will attempt to use it for selfish gain and will never succeed. For to be truly compassionate one must become compassion itself.”
--To become an Avatar one must become compassion?
--Not necessarily. There are many kinds of Avatars. I chose compassion because that is what was needed at the time and place I found myself experiencing life when I realized I was in need of a great change in my understanding and awareness. It was a completely personal choice made with a free mind. I had no agenda, nor was I working for anyone else’s agenda. I just wanted to be of service to the world I lived in at that time whatever that service turned out to demand of me.
--And you left that world a better place for having been in it?
--The question is entirely irrelevant to an Avatar.
--I can feel your energy. I like it.
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|Reviewed by Mary Lacey, Desertrat
Very insightful and inspired piece.
|Reviewed by Mary Ann Biddinger
|Expressive thoughts in this interesting piece.
Lady Mary Ann
|Reviewed by Odin Roark
|Another inspired short dissertation of sorts on yet another subject much maligned and or ignored. One doesn't have to sacrifice oneself to be servant and compassion itself. Profound thought. Appreciated. Many thanks for posting.|
|Reviewed by Jane Noponen Perinacci
|I have had friends who were not my lovers and lovers who were not my friends. It all works out!
|Reviewed by Vivian Dawson
|A sharing of ideas with unusal
thoughts for making the world
a better place *Regis*
|Reviewed by Paul Berube
|Wise words for certain, my friend. Very well done, Regis. God bless.|
|Reviewed by JASMIN HORST SEILER
|Whatever feels good in the moment, even standing knee deep in pee, for the moment is all we got, if compassion is your thing go for it, if standing in shallow waters, or diving of a cliff, it does not matter to the universe, in the end; it matters only to yourself, if by chance you have left another with enlightenment or pleasant memories of life, that is gravy on your potatoes possibly, and good memories all around.|
|Reviewed by Ronald Hull
|I find the idea of an "Avatar"rather strange and aloof, and prefer that someone become enlightened in this lifetime. Also the word empathy is more favorable to me than compassion. Otherwise, I am on that path, trying to leave the world a better place because I passed this way.