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Tom Hyland

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Books
· The New Jerusalem - Chapters 1 - 5

· Bawlmer, Merlyn - Home of The Hons


Short Stories
· CHICKEN SCRATCHES ?

· DADDY ... ADDENDUM

· DADDY, WHAT DID YOU DO IN THE MILITARY?

· THREE LITTLE ... EDS !

· ALL MY CARS - PART 2

· ALL MY CARS

· AU-TO-MO-BILES

· BIG LUG CONTINUED !

· SLURPEES !

· THE BIG LUG !


Articles
· GOD BLESS THE @#%^ CORPORATIONS!

· BERRIES

· MEDIOCRITY ... THY NAME IS ... APATHY

· TALK IS CHEAP !

· The BLIMP

· 9 / 11 : PRESS For TRUTH

· NEW WORDS WITH FRIENDS

· BEATING A DEAD HORSE ?

· IF I WON ... ?

· Delegate or Stagnate


Poetry
· SHRIMPY

· OF ALL THE GIRLS I LOVED BEFORE ...

· ALL HALLOWS EVE

· HONEY, OUR VOWS MEANT NOTHING TO YOU ... BUT I DIDN'T KNOW

· CONTEMPLATING BAMBI’S NAVEL

· DANGLING PARTICIPLES ?

· BIG 5 0 !

· COURAGE

· AS FOR ME ...

· LIFE IS LIKE ... A BOOK

         More poetry...
News
· PATRICIA ANN ALLEN

· JERSEY DEVIL... aka KNAVE WUSS-A-LOT Update !

· JERSEY DEVIL HANGING IN THERE STILL !

· ED MATLACK IN HOSPITAL !

· ONE MILLION !

· ONLY 2,639 TO GO!

· 805,000 + HITS !

Tom Hyland, click here to update your web pages on AuthorsDen.

5 T - B 2 - P 9
By Tom Hyland
Last edited: Friday, May 22, 2009
Posted: Friday, May 22, 2009



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Recent articles by
Tom Hyland

• GOD BLESS THE @#%^ CORPORATIONS!
• BERRIES
• MEDIOCRITY ... THY NAME IS ... APATHY
• TALK IS CHEAP !
• The BLIMP
• 9 / 11 : PRESS For TRUTH
• NEW WORDS WITH FRIENDS
           >> View all 370
Considering alternate title next time - tired of this 5 T CRAP!

Maybe 3 H ? HYLAND'S HORRENDOUS HOGWASH ?

Anyway, read at your RISK!

OH - almost forgot - the pic below - a Dessert Cake my Nephew Eric made for Labor Day, 2002.

WHY? a last minute thought for Memorial Day - sort of Red, White, and Blue - but not quite! DUH?








5 T - B 2 - P 9
- Or -
HYLAND’S HOGWASH

© - Tom Hyland - 05-01-09 to 05-22-09

RE: Religulous review Comments -

by J'nia Fowler (author) at 5/2/2009 6:55:32 AM

Hi Tom, We watched the film a couple of days ago and I have to say that I couldn't help but chuckle more than once. It was interesting and informative in it's own way, heck I belly laughed a couple of times.

It is interesting that they chose to interview a few 400lb. fundamentalist fellows in a trailer, the snake handler variety and that preacher, and I use the term lightly who mumbled baby talk into the mike really made me feel disgusted. And that disgusting side show in Florida where people are taking photos of "jesus" walking or rather bouncing alone from one cross piece to the other along the via de la rosa really made me feel like hurling. I especially got a kick out of that priest in front of the Vatican. What a hoot and a half. We both thought that if he ever came to town we'd love to have "him" over for dinner. He was hilarious.

It is no wonder so many people think that Christians are all a bunch of lunatics, though I confess that I think many of these people are strange, holding on to myths and twisted truths rather than using their brains to evaluate things. And I can't help but mention that Rabbi in the basement showing off all his lever and button pushing devices, not to mention the wheel chair. Sadly he missed the whole point, and I'm certain there wouldn't be any takers for any of his clever levers anyway. LOL,LOL
Glad we viewed it, thanks for mentioning it. Hugs, J'nia


Posted by Tom Hyland (author) at 5/2/2009 7:26:00 AM

Hi J'nia Fowler:

Glad youse guyz enjoyed! Like I said, people with 'open minds' probably would -

those that have enough 'space t'ween the ears ' have room to add both humor and questioning. And you're right about WHO & WHERE he interviewed - a veritable CIRCUS -

not exactly 'QUO VADIS' - but the perennial fight between the Christians and Lions - still goes on - not unlike the BEAT!

Pax Tecum ... Tom.


Posted by J'nia Fowler (author) at 5/2/2009 11:50:34 AM

Hi Tom Hyland:
lol. I think we's guys are on thu saime page. I'm trying to put on my best kicksville southern drawl for ya. Bigs smiles here. J'nia
Reply to J'nia Fowler


Posted by Tom Hyland (author) at 5/2/2009 1:53:13 PM

Hi J'nia Fowler:

although i know that K was a typo, and yew really meaned H - 4 hicksville,

ewe r not insinuatin' in eny whey thet we'uns down hear ain't SWAAVE and Worldly like Bond - CHEMS BOND - R U ?

Din' think so! Piece ! TK ...

=========================================================

RE: MATLACK’S - REVIEW OF FLU -

ED - PERFECT PICTURE FOR THE TIMES!

a paraphrase of a poem "Why Worry?" by Anonymous -

There are only 2 possibilities, you will get it, or you won't.
if you don't, there's nothing to worry about!

If you do, there are only 2 possibilities -
you will live, or you will die.
if you live, there's nothing to worry about!

If you die, there's only 2 possibilities -
you'll go to Heaven, or you'll go to Hell.
if you go to Heaven, there's nothing to worry about!

If you go to Hell, you'll be so busy -
shaking hands with friends that
you won't have time to worry!

re: SUIT - go to one of them thar SEX TOY stores -
and see if they have a really really BIG extra large size - XXXXXL -
CONDUM ... it'll be very apropos - trust me!

your PORCINE friend - OINKY ...

=========================================================

RE: Erin e. Kelly-Moen’s - Be-Held-Over or pickup sticks -

ERIN - GO BRAGH ...

WOW! You got me on that one Gal! When I was a kid, played pickup sticks, but don't remember any pickup SEX goin' on - was I naive? did I miss the boat?

AND - the quick, short lines remind me also of another kids game - JUMP ROPE! Although it was mostly a 'girls' game, it was a challenge, and I was pretty good at it...

Peace - Tom.

=========================================================

RE: J’NIA’s - Health Dilemma -

Hi J'nia Fowler:

as a result of my hospitalization last August, I made many changes in my normal diet. Many of these were from suggestions from my daughter and son, both who have been vegetarians for years.

I started with the small bottles of Honey, the cute lil Bears. then tried tubs of
TRADER JOE'S brand of Creamed Honey - 100% North American Clover Honey - Unfiltered - Uncooked - sits out right on the counter, i don't even refrigerate & hasn't spoiled!

then, tried LIGHT AGAVE NECTAR - Organic, expensive - 23.5 oz.= about $6/
but it goes a long way - I LOVE IT! use in coffee, tea, and even over cereal.
from WHOLE FOODS store.

do occasionally use a level teaspoon of regular granulated sugar, just for a change in pace - but don't miss it.

also - I tried, liked, and use SOY BUTTER instead of butter, margarine, and other 'fakes.'

and - try RAW ALMOND BUTTER - love it too, only sometimes I cheat & spritz a little salt, unless I'm dipping salted pretzels in it - sub. for peanut butter -

and sometimes use GARLIC HUMUS ... made from squashed Garbonzo beans, or Chickpeas ...

oh yeah - almost forgot - rarely drank any water - tried several brands of flavored ones - now do the VITAMIN WATER ones - but be careful, read the labels - many have sugar subs. or high fructose corn syrup!

and they say "you can't teach an old dog new tricks!

HAPPY HEALTHY DIET CHANGES ... TK.

=========================================================

RE: Matlack’s - Open Wide & … -

JOISEY - OMG - where did you find that pic?

this lil guy would put Preparation H out of business!

talk about 'puttin' your nose into somebody else's business' !!!

that's THREE FOR THREE for you ... PERFECT PIC POETRY !!!

maybe you can get a job as a CAPTIONIST ?

be sure to SAVE these 3 - build a folder for possible future publication ...

"Matlack's LACK Matters!"

peace - TK.

=========================================================

RE: my - ARE PEDANTIC PEDAGOGUES … -

5/15/2009
Chantilly Lace

Oh my ,Yes I certainly can DIG it sweetie..LOL..as always ..thank you for making my day sweet Tk..please stay safe and well OK..Hugss
Love,
Chanti Lace xoxo

5/14/2009
J'nia Fowler

Great title. Caught my eye as soon as I opened the mail. I can think of only a couple of things worse than being pedantic. " droll, and dead."
Keep em coming Tom, Hugs, J'nia

J'NIA -

droll and dead - quite worse!

how 'bout - DROOL and DEAR ?

more gooder perhaps?

Oooooo ! just figgered out what the 'problem' is -

WE think of ourselves as - "WE, THE PEOPLE"

Politicians think - 'THEY, THE POOPLE!" -

people to be pooped on!

and ... POPULACE then becomes - POOPULACE!
and ... POPULAR --------> - POOPULAR!

could it be that THEY are just lousy SPELLERS?

:) :) :) - TOM.


5/14/2009
Ed Matlack

You sir are a most intelligent man, hell, half the words I had to look up herein, but learned me some new ones...I especially enjoyed scratching each others back, though I wouldn't touch yours with the proverbial 10 foot pole, LOL, Ed

by Tom Hyland (author) at 5/15/2009 5:35:54 AM

JOISEY - Am sending yew a package (did ewe get other one?) - containing 12 one-foot screwable segments -

SCREW them together - and you will have a new proverb - and no longer any EXCUSE!

MIGHT WORK FER hemorrhoid replacement too! TK.


5/14/2009
Jackie (Micke) Jinks

Tom, you are a hoot! Not only does my brain falter from these ponderings, but my tongue got twisted, to boot! Will have to return when I'm healed, and my back stops itching...:o)
Blessings and Love - Micke


5/14/2009
Mr. Ed

I can dig it, and all thirteen are worth pondering. But these days, I seem to be captivated the most by the simple things. So, I'm now pondering this one:

If the Dog Hadn’t Stopped to Take a Dump -
Would he Have Caught the Rabbit?

I have five dogs, and from my experience I can tell you that whether they have stopped to dump or not, none of them have caught a single rabbit yet. And I don't count the time a rabbit got stuck in a fence while they were in hot pursuit. Luckily, I was nearby so I quickly 'unstuck' it, and they never caught that one either!

by Tom Hyland (author) at 5/15/2009 5:23:52 AM

PEEWEE - yes, by all means - pondering simple things, like - DUMPS - N' - SILLY WABBITS - can be quite productive. almost, but not quite as profound as the - chicken vs. egg question! 5 dogs, eh?

instead of the cute lil 'blue' plastic bags, do you carry BIG BLACK 30 GALLON ONES?

Happy Dumping! tom.

WOW - add an - L - to that word n' get a totally different meaning!

=========================================================

RE: my - 5 T …

by Tom Hyland (author) at 5/14/2009 5:10:03 PM

J'NIA - oh, ewe witty won - yew! I have always liked TWAT - 4 T ...

Thought about a shorter version - 3 T ... Tom's Intelligent Thoughts ... T I T ...

what's CANUCK love? rubbing noses? but -WHERE? TK



Posted by J'nia Fowler (author) at 5/14/2009 8:09:23 PM

Hi Tom Hyland:LOL I heard that naughty Eskimos get sniffilous.

lol back to you Tom XXX


Posted by Tom Hyland (author) at 5/15/2009 6:07:27 AM

Hi J'nia Fowler:

YOU GO GIRL - SNIFFILOUS - OMG ... TERRIFIC 'COINAGE' !!!

PLEASE, PLEASE - WRITE A POEM (rated R no less) -

on this THEME! NEWS-FLASH - new Eskimo STD discovered ...

TK.

=========================================================

RE: My - WHAT IF … -

5/15/2009
Mary Lacey
Tom,

Truly wonderful "what ifs", too bad most are not true . But I have to agree, what if they were?

Mary

MARY - yeah, I know - Pipe Dreams! More of Hyland’s Hogwash! Tom.

5/15/2009
Ed Matlack

What if...

You were sane
I was same
The Ed's weren't lame... ed

JOISEY - now yer really “Whistlin’ in the Wind … TK.

5/15/2009
OneLight*® Authors & Creations Joseph*

This is brilliant Tom! Such a simple idea ... so difficult to achieve. Let us give our best shot anyway!

Love & Light always and in all ways,
Joseph

JOE - thanks, pal!

Maybe if we could 'mix' a little ' church & state '

We could adopt it as a National Prayer?

Tom.

=========================================================

RE: MR. ED’S - TODAY IS ENDANGERED SPECIES DAY -

ED - WELL DONE!

Just yesterday afternoon, on OPRAH - TRUE stories and videos of strange and wonderful friends -

a guy named Casey with A 1,000 LB. GRIZZLY! A female elephant named TARA and a dog named Bela - a cat nursing a baby rabbit, along with her own litter - and - more, more, more -

you might want to check it out on her website!

A CRITTER MAY BE LIKE A NEPHEW -
OR PERHAPS, EVEN A NIECE -
TO ALL OF THEM I BID - GOD'S PEACE!

TOM.

=========================================================

RE: My - Politically Correct -

5/16/2009
Mary Lacey
Tom,

This is great. I am so sick and tired of "politically correct". Face it, it's pure bull. One thing people have seem to caught on to. It's "politically" correct to call a black person an African American (unless the rules have changed again). Not all African Americans are black.

Mary

MARY - thanks for comments.

And, you are so right - if a Dutch Boer, or Afrikaner, moved from Africa to America, and became a citizen, he/she would technically be an African- American, but be White - Not Black!

And - many hundreds, or thousands of Black, or Brown-skinned Americans did Not come from Africa - many have their Roots from Haiti, Trinidad, The Dominican Republic, South America, Central America, and many small Caribbean Islands -

How Politically Correct is it to group all these people together, and label them as African-Americans? Yet, most, if not all, may be Black-skinned.

And - how us WHITES? For whatever reason, some government ‘Rocket Scientists’ decided many years ago, that we should be called CAUCASIAN !

I’ll bet a Dollar to a Doughnut that very, very few people, especially Americans - no matter what COLOR they are - do not have a clue as to what this term means!

From WIKIPEDIA -

The word Caucasus derives from Caucas, the ancestor of the North Caucasians.[2] He was a son of Togarmah, grandson of Biblical Noah's third son Japheth.

According to native Kartuli sources, after the fall of the Tower of Babel and the division of humanity into different languages, Togarmah settled with his sons: Kartlos, Haik (Georgian:????, Haos), Movakos, Lekos, Heros, Kavkas, and Egros (Kingdom of Egrisi) between two inaccessible mountains. Presumably Mount Ararat and Mount Elbrus).

If you take the time to go READ this site, and look at the maps, you might start to just WONDER a bit - if my skin is White, and my Family Tree is Irish and German-Dutch - then - Why in the Hell am I labeled as a RUSSIAN - or a HEBREW - DUH!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caucasus

GOD SAVE US FROM GOVERNMENT IDIOTS!

Tom.


MOLLIE - thanks for all the comments -

and - yes, it does. While we all know that stereo-typing or 'labeling' is inherently wrong - is it not promulgated by government efforts to gather statistical 'data' from just about every form - job applications, medical histories, credit reports, whatever?

Capability, not ethnicity should be the ‘benchmark.’

peace - Tom.


=========================================================

RE: KARLA’S - Did You Think They’d Forget? -

KARLA - LIKE THE ALAMO - AND THE MAINE - AND PEARL HARBOR -

WE SHALL ALWAYS REMEMBER 9-11 ... ALWAYS!

STUPID IS - AS STUPID DOES!

SUPPOSE THE 'PHOTO OP' HAD BEEN SHOT DOWN -
BY ALERT, PREPARED SECURITY FORCES!

OH! GUESS NEW YORK STILL DOES NOT HAVE THAT!

PITY !!! TOM.

=========================================================

RE: RUFIE’s - I took Dad to the Beach Today -

RUFIE - while Dog may be Man's Best Friend - the reversal may not be as self-evident.

Daddy's especially, get so wrapped up in their 'problems' and stresses, that they forget to take time to smell the roses - (and even Hinies ) !

So, it is important that you continue to drag his weary fat ARSE outdoors to take a break n' git some R&R -

If'n yew kin help him git some 'other stuff' too (from a Venusian, no less) - it could be great THERAPY!

Keep up the good work! Unka Tom.

OH yeah, it also dawned on me that his aversion to WATER could be a sign that he is really a CAT - ewe no - a big PUSSY!

sssssssh - don't let him no that yew no!

=========================================================

RE: Regis’ - Chaos and Order -

REG - We were taught in Math that -

"The Whole is Equal to the Sum of its Parts."

ERGO - just like Good and Evil - Positive and Negative -

Order and Chaos are Parts of the Whole =

Infinite -Never-Ending - Cyclical -

THAT'S LIFE ... AS WE KNOW IT!

Peace - Tom.

=========================================================

RE: KARLA’s - Didn’t Read Your Obituary … -

KARLA - I would add my two cents to affirm that which all the others have said - what has happened, is simply LIFE!

Everyone is busy, scratching out a LIVING! Lack of stats, or reviews, has nothing to do with you personally. Just like in Business, and Sports - everything depends on TIMING.

Sometimes, we write something, and believe that it is one of the best pieces we have ever done - and - for some strange reason, it simply gets ignored. That doesn't mean that it wasn't good - it means that the timing was such, that others were busy juggling their own little 'worlds' and missed it - THEIR LOSS!

I have had occasions - few and far between, no less, but every once in a while, someone posts a raving review of something I posted three or four YEARS AGO!

I once learned in college, many years ago, that almost every major, renowned person in history did not reach their Prime, or 'get discovered' until they were well into their Late Forties! Some even in their - Fifties, or Sixties!


Think about many Great: Authors, Painters, Sculpturers, Composers, Musicians, and others, who DIED BROKE! And then, posthumously, their WORKS became of Great Value!

Just suppose that - IF Michelangelo’s “David” 1504 or “La Pieta” 1508 had not gotten good reviews - and he got upset and Quit - the Sistine Chapel’s Ceiling would never have displayed yet another MASTERPIECE!

Dear Lady - Life is Not Fair! If you have ever read the introduction on my Homepage, there is a quote from Hamlet - "This, above all else, to thine ownself be true - for, as surely as night follows day, thou canst not be false to any man!"

"Keep on Keepin' on!" "Build it, and they will come!"

Persistence - Determination - Perseverence - Diligence - Doggedness - Resolution - These synonyms are the TOOLS of SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE!

And - you got a FULL toolbox, Darlin' !

TomKat ...

=========================================================

RE: Mary E. Lacey’s - The Power of Send -

MARY - WELL SAID!

The ever-lovin' puter and the Net cause a "Poison Pen Letter' to seem like SLO-MO ...

and replaced by a LIGHT-SABER !!! Tom.

=========================================================

RE: Mr. ED’s - Vet Chron. 170 -

ED & GEORG -

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE!

And - I'm sorry that both the politicians and the people themselves let you down! This lack of support when the war ended was DESPICABLE! In effect, to blame the TROOPS for the failure of both the Administration and Congress to ADMIT their own stupidity!

Regarding the fact of the vast increase in Nam vets seeking help 40 years later - let me state a personal true story. My brother-in-law Jim was a mere 19 or 20-year-old when he was in a foxhole in Germany, and just about 2 or 3 days before the war ended, he shot and killed a young German soldier.

40 and even 50 years later - that FACE HAUNTED him! When he drank, he got melancholy, and he CRIED. Usually, it was in the evening, and especially on special celebrations, like the Fireworks displays on July 4th -

Yeah - one-piece physically, but not mentally!
THAT is what the experts and other egg-heads now call PTSD ...

IF EVER THERE IS ANOTHER WAR - GOD - MAKE THE PRESIDENT AND CONGRESS BE THE FIRST TO STEP ON THE BATTLEFIELD!

Peace, my Friends - Peace ... Tom.

=========================================================

RE: REGIS’ - DO WE OWE LIFE ANYTHING? -

In the words of Forest Gump -

"Life is like a box of chocolates!"

ERGO - when we squeeze one, to check it - and it turns out to be one of those yucky maple cream ones - we owe LIFE and those who come to the box afterwards - TO EAT IT ANYWAY!

TK.

=========================================================

RE: BEAR PAW’S - BEMUSED -

SO - BEAR PAW IS REALLY A 'HAIR-SPLITTER' HUH?

I agree with you, Kiddo! I often use both the dictionary and thesaurus in Word.

I have always believed that 'stupid' meant - incapable of understanding, whereas -
'ignorant' - meant simply uninformed - as in - I did not know - I was ignorant of the facts of the case.

ERGO - I AM NOT STUPID, JUST ILL-INFORMED.

RE: amuse - the Prefix a- means to, or toward -
while ab- means away, or from.

so - a-muse - to cause someone to to muse, or to think, or to be distracted, to take their mind off of something else.

be-muse - to cause someone to be confused, or puzzled.

as ole Willie Shakespeare (is that really an Indian name?) - used to say:

"What's in a name? (word)? Peace - TomKat...

=========================================================

RE: My - WEIGHT LOSS? -

5/19/2009
Karen Palumbo

Now that is a picture, made me look twice! Got me laughing, love your logical humor....

Be always safe,
Karen

KAREN - thanks, Doll! Glad you got a kick out of it. Some take my ‘crap’ too seriously. Tom.

5/19/2009
Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner

Wow. What a piccy. I'm large, but not THAT large, tyvm! I eat one meal a day. Can't afford any more ... am losing weight. Slowly, but it's coming off. Plus I exercise. Excellent write, Tom.

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.

KARLA - thank you, Darlin’ - have you tried that SPECIAL K diet yet? I’ve been thinking about tryin’, Maybe MANANA?

TK …


5/19/2009
Ed Matlack

If I want to flush my system, I always eat at Mickey D's, as it must be the grease or the meat they cook...either way, I get your point and totally agree...I may be a bit too heavy, but I will NEVER allow myself to be this (see above) nuts...loved this one, TK...take care & don't eat till your full, you are better off...Ed

ED - to paraphrase an old tune -

“Purge, purge, purge, your Bloat -
gently down the stream -
merrily, merrily, merrily -
life is but a Scream!’

Peace - TK…

5/19/2009
The Bear Paw

Hi Tom, My sentiments exactly! That's what I'm talking about! I'm just sayin... wait... you just said it best!

In Spirit,
Bear


BEAR - thanks for visit & comments!

if you were AMUSED, and not BEMUSED - then my Muse wasn't STUPID -

and if before you were IGNORANT, now you are INFORMED ...

May The Great Spirit, in the Spirit of Love,
Raise your Spirits to New Heights!

:) :) :) TomKat ...


/20/2009
Chantilly Lace

Oh my god,ya went and did it this time sweetie,almost peed my pants looking at that picture..only you TK only you sweet man...keep smiling always OK..Hugss
Love,
Chanti Lace xoxo

CHANTI W/WET PANTY - look at the bright side -

You’re not in DEPENDS YET! ? ? ? --- TOMKAT…


5/20/2009
Mr. Ed

Consume a Pound!
Poop a Pound!

Sounds like the key to life, to me. And once again, I think dogs must be smarter than us - they often poop two or three times a day!

PEEWEE - you are right - they are smarter -

not only poop more, but also get politicians to pass laws to FORCE US to clean up their poop!

We have all these millions of: toilets, pipes, sewer lines, treatment plants, septic tanks and systems, et cetera - which cost us millions of dollars to maintain - AND spend more millions of dollars for tissue or toilet paper to wipe our BUTTS -

THEY MUST HAVE MORE EDUCATED ANAL MUSCLES TOO!

Their poop, when left alone in nature, fertilizes - ours causes diseases to spread - is theirs smarter poop too? Or, should we all be eating Dog Food?

Perplexing thoughts to Ponder, eh wot?

May You Poop in Peace … TK.

Posted by Mr. Ed (author) at 5/20/2009 5:35:58 AM

Hi Tom Hyland: THEY MUST HAVE MORE EDUCATED ANAL MUSCLES TOO! Their poop, when left alone in nature, fertilizes - ours causes diseases to spread - is theirs smarter poop too?

I believe so, but wives are very smart, too. After all these years, I still can't get her to help me pick up dog poop or spread manure in the garden!! (I love the smell of manure in the morning!)


Hi Mr. Ed:

I knew you were a SICK PUPPY - but - smellin' MANURE in the morning?

Somehow, I have managed to forego such mundane Pleasures!

The smell of COFFEE brewin' is more my Style -

Drink a Pot, in a short While!

Nevertheless - you made me Smile!

May your Nostrils enjoy Manure some More!

I'll savor Java - as my Encore!

OH - almost forgot - YEP! Wives an' Pooper-Scoopin' Dont Mix -
Nor, do Kids who BEG to get that lil Puppy!
"We'll feed him Daddy - we'll pick up the Poop!"
SURE! Then, when needed - they flew the Coop!

Tom.




=========================================================

RE: Mr. ED’s - V.C. # 172 -

ED - as always, thank you for reporting the TRUTH!

"Holier Than Thou" Congress-Persons are really
"RAT-BASTARDS" disguised in sheep's clothing!

I ZAP my Magic Wand - and put a PLAGUE on them!

May THEY be forced to live on what Veterans struggle along on!

And to those C-P's who then still Bitch n' Moan - yet another POX -
may they LOSE LIMBS like our Valiant Veterans!

GOD - WHERE ARE YOU?

Tom...

=========================================================
RE: Ed Matlack’s - Assorted Boxed Junk from Mr. Hyland -

ED - well shut my mouth!

I had plumb forgot about that terrific box of junk I sent!
Hope you got a lift, or kick out of something in there.

Any blank checks would bounce, being made of condom material.

And - thank you for the ascension wish -
need all the help I can get, being a sinner, and all ...

Peace, my Friend, and Goodwill ... and God Bless ... Tom.

=========================================================

Posted by Mr. Ed (author) at 5/21/2009 3:32:59 AM

Hi Tom Hyland: Matlack cracked me up writing about your Box of Junk - I just might send you a Box of Manure!!

Hi Mr. Ed:

YEAH - well, make sure that it is a traditional "Meadow Muffin" from a purebred thoroughbred like from the FILLY that just won the PREAKNESS down here!

And I will get it BRONZED and put it on display on my $2,300. Wall of Pool Trophies!

NOT a Mundane Canine Turd from a Great Dane - I can tell the difference, in both size and shape - and ODOR too!

Then, one day, when we're old and grey -
i'll CASH it in at The Antique Road Show -
and Collect a FORTUNE!

Why don't you ASK Joisey if he USED the Douche-bags i sent him?
and the cute PINK Razors - to shave his ugly legs!

Just review this list - JUNK? All good STUFF!

INVENTORY

BABY BUTT-WIPERS
TOOTH-FLOSS CLEANERS
COCOANUT BODY GEL
WILD ANIMAL BAND-AIDS

PRETTY PINK RAZORS
FE-MALE SHAVE CREAM
WO-MANICURE SET
DOUCHE’ STUFF - 2-PACK

TEETH-BRUSH N’ CREAM
TOE-NAIL SPACERS
LAVORIS MOUTHWASH *
MOSQUITO REPELLANT *

* DON’T MIX THE LAST TWO UP !

BOOK BY FORMER ATTORNEY GENERAL

THIS ‘CARE-PACKAGE’ WAS CAREFULLY PACKED BY HAND BY YOURS TRULY - HERE IN U.S.A. - BUT ITEMS FROM $ TREE
PROBABLY CAME FROM CHINA !


Sum peeple jus' don' no wot GUD is ... TK.

5/21/2009
Ed Matlack

You should/could be a politician for sure, you are certainly long winded enough...LOL...oh and thanks for the delivery, while some of the things I have little use for, others I already put it my bathroom or wherever I will get to use them in the future...Ed

^ ^ ^
| | | SEE ABOVE -? JUNK HUH ?

DEAR EDWARD - a-hah! Thanks for telling the TRUTH ! TK …

=========================================================

RE: KARLA’s - What Was It You Did Again? -

KARLA - WELL DONE, TROOPER!

Forgetting - Remembering - Celebrating -

Honoring - Understanding - Caring -

Helping - Fixing - Feeding - Sheltering - Sharing -


Good Gerunds ALL - but - how many are actually PRACTICED by:

The Executive Administration? Congress?
The Veterans Administration? The People?

GOD BLESS - PROTECT - AND CARE FOR ALL VETERANS -

ALL - EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!


I SALUTE YOU ... Tom.

=========================================================

RE: My - Why Not Y Instead of I ? -

5/21/2009
Georg Mateos
I nearly lost one eye between Ys and Is and whys...man, you should had been in Junior Bush's Chaotic Enterprises confident! LOL
Tom Hyland has done it again.

Georg

GEORG - thanks!

Speaking of BUSH - have you seen ' W ' yet?

Haven't written a review yet, but JOSH BROLIN and RICHARD DREYFUS did one HELLUVA job!

Tom.

5/21/2009
Karen Palumbo

Goodness gratious we are into history today huh? Knew most of it, but not all and history is one of my most favorite subjects...

Be always safe,
Karen

5/21/2009
Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
Tom,

Y know Y - because you make us thynk. Because you remember. Well done.

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.


5/21/2009
Ed Matlack

You should/could be a politician for sure, you are certainly long winded enough...LOL...oh and thanks for the delivery, while some of the things I have little use for, others I already put it my bathroom or wherever I will get to use them in the future...Ed

by Tom Hyland (author) at 5/22/2009 8:31:30 PM

MOI? long-winded? - surely yew jest!

JUNK HUH ? DEAR EDWARD - a-hah!

Thanks for telling the TRUTH ! FINALLY! TK …




© - TKH



 

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Reviewed by Georg Mateos 5/23/2009
Political correct my ass ! ! ! although...say, it is really Preparation H out of business? or is Jersey Ed hoarding the lot for his lips? Ma ain't go be so proud of him anymore.
Now, if Preparation H is really out of business, how can I retract and be political correct? I can't sit anymore! ! !

Georg a.k.a. the Edvard(k) the Ole Brother



Reviewed by Mr. Ed 5/23/2009
What a charmed life that old Jersey Devil Matlack really lives - gettin all those free Butt-Wipes and Wild Animal Band-Aids in the mail!!

Books by
Tom Hyland



Bawlmer, Merlyn - Home of The Hons

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