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Tom Hyland

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Books by Tom Hyland
UNDEFINABLE CRAP
By Tom Hyland
Last edited: Monday, May 03, 2010
Posted: Monday, May 03, 2010



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Tom Hyland

• LUCK ?
• TRANSPORTATION
• POLITICS ?
• GOOD PEOPLE vs. ARROGANT S.O.B's
• CONJUGATION OF VERBS
• RENT
• Fun With Some CON Words
           >> View all 378

Premise - My Writing is CRAP!

If true, then - some Crap is really BULL-CRAP.
Other Crap is merely HOG-WASH ...

Yet other Crap may be 'GOOD POOP.'

But - just what is 'Good Poop?'

It has 'Redeeming Merit.' Perhaps it supplies some positive measure of information - and - does not STINK as bad?

Ergo, in the final analysis, is it possible that this 'STUFF' is a conglomeration of all of the above?

'CRAP'? HOGWASH'? 'GOOD POOP'? 'STUFF'?

You, the Reader, are the Final Judge!






UNDEFINABLE CRAP!

© - Tom Hyland - 04-22-10 to 3-02-10


RE: My - DANGER! -

4/21/2010
Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner

They don't make things like they used to ... glad you're okay, Tom.

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.

KARLA -

Thank you, Darlin’ - All’s Swell that ends Well! TK.



4/21/2010
Georg Mateos

My grandfather's Ford T could run with paraffin, tractor oil and never got stuck in mud, and it hadn't no key just a cranking device that some time would kick back trying to rip off your arm.
My Volvo service can get you 1000 bucks poorer or 250 bucks if you are wise and don't let no mechanic "find" more than there is.

Georg

AMEN, GEORG!

The “Good Ole Days” - when machines were made out of Metal!
As you are no doubt aware - cars used to have a Timing Chain, not unlike
That of a bicycle - wore to the high heavens.

My old ’53 Mercury Monterey had a NYLON Timing Gear -
when my Buddy showed me, I couldn’t believe it. Progress? SURE! Cuz.

4/20/2010
Ed Matlack

I knew that foam thing was totally unnecessary, but you lucked out as I thought of it being the engine seizing, thankfully it was "just" that timing belt...whats really weird is that you spoke of a Carb in the engine and a new engine in cars like that PT Cruiser have all fuel injectors, unless there still is a carb somewhere in the engine, but I kinda doubt it...glad you didn't have to pay too much...time to get another car, that cruiser seems to be a sort of yellowish fruit that makes an aide to drink...? ;-) Ed





4/20/2010
Mark Lichterman

Very, very scary story/poem or whatever. One never knows does one? I have a '05(the first year) Pontaic Solstice with absolutely no problems. Of course I've only about 21,000 miles on it and am still under my five year extended warantee and have gone in fathfully for oil changes and etc. But you never know when the shit hits the fan... In your case almost literally!
Mark


4/20/2010
Regis Auffray

Thanks for the "heads up," Tom. I love your attitude. Love and peace,

Regis



===================================================

RE: My - ‘Road Least Traveled’ -

4/20/2010
D Johnson
I could've made some smarter decisions about my life...regrets? not one.

Cheers,
Dan

DAN -

Are Druthers - Regrets? Duh! I guess you are right! Got a few! TK.



4/20/2010
J'nia Fowler

It's the big "If only" isn't it? I don't think I have met anyone over 50 who hasn't had some regrets. A part of life I guess. Too bad we can't live it backwards. Hugs, J

J’NIA -

AMEN DEAR - AMEN! TK.

4/20/2010
Ed Matlack

Can't change the past so to worry about it now makes little sense; damn, I should listen to my own advice here...take care of you in the NOW...Ed

JOISEY -

AM OK IN THE N-O-W ... but sometimes Druthers stimulate the mind ...



4/20/2010
Mr. Ed

You've managed to send me down Memory Lane, and there are so many roads I could have, and probably should have taken, and didn't, but there's only one on your list, I truly regret. I also let my dear old Ma throw out my comic book collection, and I just know I had an original Superman in there somewhere - some guy just got $1.5 Million for his!!

DEAR PEEWEE - AMEN, MY FRIEND - AMEN!

I had almost every original - Donald Duck - Superman - Plastic Man -
Aquaman - Batman - Kid Colt ... you name it!

God Love Mothers! TomKat ...

4/20/2010
Georg Mateos
and then, there's the face back the scope cross hairs...you failed to pull the trigger and didn't changed history.

Georg

DEAR GEORGIE-PORGIE EDVARK CUMQUAT -

Had I had the opportunity (weren’t borned yet) - to get the Captain of every Slave Ship in my Cross-Hairs - there would be a different America and Africa today! Enuf said! TK.


4/19/2010
Joyce Bell

WELL TOM...YOU'VE PUT A GOOD QUESTION OUT THERE AND THIS IS HOW I LOOK AT IT. BEING A CHRISTIAN, I BELIEVE THAT "...ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD TO THEM THAT LOVE GOD...." SO THAT ANSWERS ALL MY WOULD'VE, COULD'VE, SHOULD'VE QUESTIONS BECAUSE I KNOW THAT GOD WAS WITH ME ALL THE WAY AND... WHERE I AM RIGHT NOW? IS JUST WHERE 'HE' WANTS ME TO BE. SURE, MY PLANS CHANGED PLENTY ALONG THE WAY, SOMETIMES NOT FOR THE BETTER...BUT...'HIS' PLANS NEVER DID. PLEASE DON'T FORGET WE ARE 'HUMAN, TOM,...GOD NEVER DOES. THANKS FOR SHARING AND GOD BLESS, LOVE, JOYCE * HIS INSPIRATIONS

JOYCE -

Thank you for commenting! Peace - Tom.

=========================================================

RE: Karla Dorman’s - THIRST -

KARLA - WOW, KIDDO - WOW!

THIRSTY? maybe it is time to go BRA-LESS?

JIGGLE-JIGGLE ... er, ah, um - I mean ... GIGGLE-GIGGLE !!! TK.


=========================================================

RE: Mr. ED’s - Killing Is All We Know -

Reviewed by Tom Hyland
4/24/2010

PEEWEE - SUPERB WRITE! THANK YOU!

APOCALYPSE NOW ... but, not to Worry ...

it'll all be resolved with ... SOYLENT GREEN !!! TK.

=========================================================

RE: Phyllis Jean Green’s - Sculpted of Snow And Set Afloat -

Dear 'Sweet-Pea' - Magnifique!

Never was one, much for opera, or ballet - but -

When my teenage daughter Majored in Dance at The Baltimore School For The Arts - I observed, and learned just a tad.

One beautiful day, the four of us, as a Family, attended The Russian Bolshoi Ballet Company's performance of Swan Lake At Wolf Trap,
in Reston, Virginia - WOW !!!

C'est la Vie! TK.

=========================================================

RE: Matlack’s - I Was But 12 -

ED - GOOD JOB, MATEY!

Around that same ripe ole age, in summer as well, I 'plugged' and sold Watermelons from Pier Six of Baltimore's Harbor, from my Grand-Pa Captain Isaiah Madkins' 'Bug-Eye' Ketch, "The Ella Covington" ...

"Ah, Yes - Those Were The Days!" TomKat.

=========================================================

RE: Mr. ED’s - Many Today Laugh at Earth Day and Call It “Garbage” -

ED -

Right now, am watching a discussion by 'experts' - pundits - 'talking heads' - on FACE THE NATION. While they are talking about the banks and recent financial crisis, an interesting phenomenum is observed.

One fellow spoke at length about the 'how' and 'why' it occurred - by repeatedly explaining two 'theories' that were prevalent at the time -
'IBG' and 'YBG.'

IBG = I'LL BE GONE and YBG = YOU'LL BE GONE.

In simple terms, it meant that the big 'PLAYERS' - having 'a priori' knowledge of probable negative consequences of their acts, simply
DID NOT CARE! When the 'SHIT HIT THE FAN' - so to speak - either - "I'll Be Gone - OR - You'll Be Gone" - so, who 'gives a shit?'

Now, apply those same 'theories' to the: PLASTIC PROBLEM - the CO2 PROBLEM - the ENDANGERED SPECIES PROBLEM - the FINANCIAL PROBLEM, the GLOBAL WARMING PROBLEM - et al - ad ifinitum ...

In my humble opinion, WE ARE ALL GUILTY - Prior and Current Administrations, Prior and Current Congresses, Prior and Current Politicians at Every Level, Prior and Current Corporate CEO's and their Boards of Directors, and Last but not Least - Prior and Current
Majority Members of 'WE THE PEOPLE' - due to MASS APATHY!

"I'LL BE GONE ... OR ... YOU'LL BE GONE" - SO, WHO CARES?
WHO GIVES A SHIT?

Our Kids? Our Grand-Kids? Their Kids? - IT'S THEIR PROBLEMS!

"I'M TOO BUSY - YOU'RE TOO BUSY - WE'RE TOO BUSY - THEY'RE TOO BUSY ... SO ... FUG-GIT!"

HUMANITY IS BUT A BLIGHT - A GERM - A BACTERIA -
A SICKNESS ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH!

And, when we are ALL GONE -

GOD and MOTHER EARTH WILL CONTINUE - IN SPITE OF US!

Peace - Tom.

=========================================================

RE: Dan L Johnson’s - Button, Plant, Trick, Fly -

DAN - WELL DONE, LAD!

My version would have been just a tad shorter, which is amazing,
as I am normally so verbose.

My old pair of Dungarees had a FLY, which had no zipper - rather closed by BUTTON. Although difficult to close sometimes, the TRICK was to firmly PLANT your right thumb under the edge of each BUTTON - VOILA!

Peace - Tom.

=========================================================

RE: Dan L Johnson’s - Old Age -

DAN - I LIKE YOUR SUMMARY!

As I rapidly approach August 25th, this year I'll be 70. WOW!
My problem has been that there is a 'Teenager' - TRAPPED inside this ole bod. "The Spirit is willing, but the Flesh is weak!"

My Dad made it to 84 - Mom to 83 - both elder (by 14 & 13 years) sisters, Adele and Rose - made it to mid-seventies - one aunt, Aunt Honey, reached 88 (she was on Dad's side).

In accordance with many published studies, I have another slight advantage - Love Crossword Puzzles - especially NYT - the harder the better. Been doing them almost 50 years now. Chess, Trivial Pursuit, Scrabble, Cribbage, Pinochle, and even Bridge, have always been enjoyable challenges to me.

Retired in March of 2006, been working 3 days a week, Part-Time for 4 years now, and - Love it! YEP - being your own Boss is NICE!

Lady Friend I 'dated' (snicker, snicker) for 3 years just DUMPED ME!
Not to worry though, I expected it, and already have 3 'Profiles' running again on the Net. Only now, they are on 'Senior' sites -

But - I'm looking for a 'Newer Model' - not an ole ‘Fuddy-Duddy!’

Wish me LUCK! Tom.

=========================================================



RE: Matlack’s - Justice vs. Injustice -

Dear Joisey Devil ED -

As Pat dun sed - 'thou shalt not steal.'

As a corollary, there are two - 'shalt not covets' ...

Most of my adult life I managed to obey these 3 ...

But, just the other nite, I told my niece, Bernie -
I AM NOW GUILTY OF 'ENVY!'

As I do my job, delivering 'scrips' - I now question WHY - all these hundreds, thousands maybe, of Rich suckers live in Mansions -
1/2 Mil $ or more - and I am relegated to 'Trailer Trash?'

WHY? Justice vs. Injustice - am I not Worthy?

Did I not Obey all the rules - pay my taxes - go to Church - Volunteer in the Choir for 16 years! Figured out it was over 4,000 hours of "Making a Joyful Noise Unto The Lord" - and yet, like you, I am but a Pauper!

"God Bless the J-O-B! Workin' fer 'the Man' - "Yes-sir! Who-sir? Me-sir?

Could it be that all those mansion-dwellers are JUST - better 'Ass-Kissers?'
Or - THIEVES? LIARS? Silver-Spoon recipients?

I DUNNO! But the truth is - it PISSES ME OFF!

Like PEEWEE dun sed - keep on keepin' on - C'est la Vie!

Peace - DUDE - Peace ... TomKat Cuz.

=========================================================

RE: Mr. ED’s - Aren’t We Slick? -

ED - TERRIFIC EXPOSE' - AS USUAL!

As I have written before - Man - Mankind - is probably the Worst damned virus that this Earth has ever seen, or experienced.

We, as a species, cause most of the 'problems' due to our own over-population. IT will invariably be the cause of our own demise -
just like many 'Lost Civilizations.'

Only then - will Mother Earth begin to heal her wounds, and lick her scars, and Green will promulgate once more!

Just like the theory of the power of Anti-Matter - Man is - Anti-Earth!

Mortal Fools repeating Insanity - over, and over, and over!

Peace - Tom.

=========================================================

RE: My - Some ... tion ... Words -

5/2/2010
J'nia Fowler

Horripilation...interesting. lol J'nia

5/2/2010
Mr. Ed

I was horrified to learn that I did not know the word - Horripilation.

But learning, no matter one's age, is a very good thing.


Dear J’nia & PeeWee -

Yep! Never heared of it afore, either! TK.


5/2/2010
Georg Mateos
Desertion, when good sense depart from the brain when "someone" has too much free time between his ears! (LOL)

Cuz EDvard

PS. Get a life!!! hahahahahahahahahahaha (another demented laugh)

DEAR CUZ-VARD -

I HAD SENSE? I HAVE EARS? YOU ARE DEMENTED?

Another tion word ... REVELATION! TK.

5/1/2010
Ed Matlack
You are most certainly a weird guy, you know that, LOL! Ed

JOISEY - ME, WEIRD?

IF'N THAT AIN'T 'THE POT CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK' -
DON'T KNOW WHAT IS!

TK.

5/1/2010

Regis Auffray
I love words and the way languages "work." Cleverly expressed, Tom. Thank you. Love and peace,

Regis

5/1/2010
Dayvid Gray

Haha...This is a really fun piece!

Dayvid

===============================

P.S. - The pic above is the New Hoover Dam Bridge -

 

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Reviewed by J'nia Fowler 5/4/2010
Regarding crap. You ought to take a whiff of the spring air here in the Chilliwack valley. They spew fermented crap all over the fields before planting their crops. We call it the "smell of money." lol
Reviewed by Georg Mateos 5/4/2010
"UNDEFINABLE CRAP"...the one you get for drinking water instead of straight tequila in Mexico. Montezuma can curse a lotta sh** outa ya!

Cuz EDvard

Reviewed by D Johnson 5/3/2010
I am an 'arteest' therefore, my writing is 'artful crap' and sometimes it really stinks. Sometimes not.

Cheers,
Dan
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 5/3/2010
"Premise - My Writing is CRAP!"

WRONG, A THOUSAND TIMES OVER & OVER... YOU DO GOOD POOP, LOL, ed
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 5/3/2010
HUMANITY IS BUT A BLIGHT - A GERM - A BACTERIA -
A SICKNESS ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH!

It sure feels that way today, as I look at what's happening on our own coastline, right now. And yet, many of us, don't even care.

PS: You did make me chuckle a little, callin my old brother:

GEORGIE-PORGIE EDVARK CUMQUAT!

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