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Peter J. Oszmann

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Books by Peter J. Oszmann
Thoughts… just thoughts… Part 2
By Peter J. Oszmann
Last edited: Saturday, September 18, 2010
Posted: Thursday, March 31, 2005



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Recent articles by
Peter J. Oszmann

• Thoughts… just thoughts… (Part 1)
• About the Book -“Remember Us”
• About dicks and arseholes.
• Dotcomology
• Bringing up kids.
• 2 Blog Or Not 2 Blog.
• Blogito, ergo sum.
           >> View all 26
“Thoughts are like butterflies. They fly away if you don’t catch them…”

A sentence written down is a thought captured. A thought captured is like a butterfly pinned in a display cabinet. This is a collection of “Butterflies” in a display cabinet… Just let your eyes and mind wonder over them… you may just catch one…


 

 
 

Over a number of years I have been jotting down "thoughts" as they occurred to me.
 

I do not look upon them as "pieces of wisdom", but rather as thoughts dragged up from the "Collective Conscious".
 

 
 

Although I jotted them down as they occurred to me in my own words and even have the audacity to put a "copy right" note at the end, in all honesty, I cannot claim that every single thought was an "original". Snippets of "wisdom" do indeed originate from the "Collective Conscious", which one tends to absorb into the "individual subconscious", to regurgitate as ad hoc witticism, thought, cynicism or whatever. There is nothing new under the sun… so they say…
 

 
 

I present them here as such… without any particular order other than chronological. You will find some of them serious, some of them entertaining, whilst others you may find downright flippant. They are all presented here “naked”, without any further comment or apology…
 

 
 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 

 
 If you cannot understand what you should be aware of, you cannot be aware of your lack of understanding.
 

 

****
 

 It is my insanity that keeps me sane.
 

 

****
 

 Speaking of insanity: I am.... and that is completely insane....
 

 

****
  

Why is it that the most frequently asked question by a child is: “Why?’
 

 

****
 

The act of birth is the overture to death.
 

  

****
 

 If you think dying is easy, then consider that for most of us it takes a lifetime to die.
 

 

****
 

 Flying is better than sex... and nobody bats an eyelid if you do it solo...
 

****
 

Old age is the time when your body tries to tell you to move over, but your mind is no longer there to listen.
 

 

***
 

 The trouble with optimism is that an individual lifetime is not long enough to justify it.
 

 

****
 

 Would I lie to save my skin?
 

No, if it weren’t for the rest of the stuff inside it!
 

  

****
 

 If Earth is really a ball shaped body spinning on a tilted axis, orbiting the Sun and hurtling through space and time, than it is little wonder that humans are confused.
 

How on Earth can we tell when we are standing erect and when we are hanging upside down?
 

 

****
 

 Objectivity requires a lot more than the human mind is capable of. It requires a complete absence of learned prejudices, combined with perceptual processes that can never be fooled.
 

The human mind is incapable of working on that level. Therefore there can be no such thing as an objective scientific view.
 

 

****
 

 It is often the fear of making mistakes that leads to inaction and saves us from making fools of ourselves.
 

It is often the action that eventually follows that does...
 

 

****
 

 I define Quixotism as a short cut to misguided philosophy. I know. I practice it.
  

****
 

 Being a humble fool is neither a shame nor a disadvantage.
 

Being a pompous ass is...
 

****
 

 There are many wonders and mysteries about our Galaxy. It is full of heavenly bodies.
 

None more heavenly and wondrous than the girl I used to watch across the road - back in my misspent youth - undressing every night in front of her mirror.
 

****
 

 If the eyes were the mirrors of the soul, it would explain why so many humans look only for their own reflection when looking into the eyes of a fellow human being.
 

 

****
 

 I love nature. Only human nature I find unbearable.
 

 

****
 

 Cogito ergo sum. I think therefore I am.
 

I think I am, therefore I think that I am.
 

I think, therefore I think that I am.
 

Now what if my thinking is faulty?
 

After all I am only human... or at least that’s what I think I am...
 

 

****
 

 Don’t take your daily anger, frustration, worry, or hate to bed with you. Leave them all right outside your bedroom. Instead, when you close your eyes, think yourself happy and lucky. In reality that’s how you should feel.
 

You just survived another day.
 

 

****
 

 If you want to see yourself the way others see you, then cast away the halo you think you are wearing.
 

 

****
 

 I can say, without being boastful, that in my life I slept with almost all of the beautiful actresses.
 

Television sends me to sleep instantly....
 

****
 

 To win and survive life’s many battles always expect the worst, aim to achieve the best and be prepared to accept a compromise.
 

 

****
 

 I love modesty; especially the kind that stand on the rooftop to shout about it.
 

 

****
 

 Life is a four-letter word. So is work, love, play... even word...
 

 

****
 

 Prevailing ‘political correctness’ dictates that homosexuality should be treated on equal terms with heterosexuality. That it should be so buggers common sense and makes me wish to emigrate to another planet before homosexuality is declared to be the norm and made compulsory.
 

 

****
 

 Life has a tendency to run out on you, just as you get used to it.
 

 

****
 

 If the ‘truth’ about the Universe would be known, it would be pronounced to be unacceptable by the scientific community.
 

 

****
 

 If and when death stares you in the face, smile at it. If that does not frighten it away, nothing will. So you might as well go with a smile on your face.
 

****
 

 I believe in the human spirit. After all an awful lot of humans imbibe it.
 

 

****
 

 Misery often springs from the environment. Happiness always springs from within.
 

****
 

That any human invention, or anything in science works proves one thing only:
 

The Material Universe is stranger and more mysterious than any scientist would care to admit.
 

 

****
 

 Mathematical or statistical proof of a scientific theory is about as valid as a Tarot reading in predicting the future.
 

Mathematics is not an absolute science, but a language, or a convention based on symbols and invented by humans. It is a product of psychological processes, of abstract thinking. It is at least as fallible and open to manipulation as humans are.
 

 

****
Whilst I found no evidence anywhere about the existence of absolutely objective opinion, I found ample evidence about objectionable ones.
  
 

****
 

 Life is a paradox locked inside a conundrum and wrapped in mystery.
 

 

****
 

Sitting on your haemorrhoids has its advantages.
 

It makes you forget about your other aches and pains.
 

 

****
 

 Between birth and death, it’s just a waste of time.
 
 

****
 

 Certain aspects of Freudian Psychoanalytical Theories must be flawed.
 

Take the notion of the ‘Penis Envy’.
 

Why would any woman have an innate, suppressed psychological need to envy a man for his penis?
 

A man can have but only one.
 

A woman may have as many as she can wish for.
 

 

****
 

 Time is the kind of illusion that even the most accomplished illusionist runs out of.
 

 

****
 

 It is now, when I realise that my kids are getting old, that I start developing postnatal depression.
 

 
 

****
 

            Mighty oak grows out of acorn.
 

            Mighty pain grows out of a corn.
 

(And if that’s not corny enough, stand in the middle of a cornfield.)
 

 

****
 

 An awful lot of people seem to talk through their back passages. Those who do so should be sitting on their mouths.
 

 

****
 

 In my humble experience women’s reaction to 98% of life’s situation is governed by endocrine functioning... in which bile seems to take the predominant role.
 

Men’s reaction is far simpler. A screw can fix everything.
 

 

****
 

 Each one of us is given a certain number of breaths for the duration of our lives. You should therefore not waste any on superfluous talk.
 

 

****
 

 Had I known before birth that I would have to die one day, I could have tried avoiding all the pain my mother had to suffer to get me out.
 
 

****
 

 Beauty, be it physical or spiritual, need not conform to man-made rules. If you are blessed with creative ability, you are free to break the rules, as long as you create something beautiful.
 

 

****
 

 Institutional religion seems to be the ‘Devil’s’ way of hijacking faith.
 

 

****
 

 Those forecasting doomsday all got it wrong.
 

The end of the world will not be caused by asteroids, volcanic eruptions, hole in the ozone layer, floods, war, pestilence, global warming, nuclear holocaust, killer bugs, invasion from other planets, or anything similar.
 

It will be caused by a paper-jam.
 

****
 

 I first recognised true beauty when I looked deep into the eyes of a lover and discovered... my own reflection.
 

****
 

 Life is a journey from nowhere to nowhere and no stopping place in between.
 

****
 

 It is within marriage and family above all where one is forced to face up to the frailty of human nature and emotions.
 

That includes one’s own.
 

****
 

 Every time I think my life is on the right track... an express train comes thundering along...
 

****
 

 A paradox may be an axiom trying to attract attention in order to be recognised as the truth.
 

****
 

 In mortal conflict, such as war, cowardice often saves lives. Heroism more often terminates it.
 

****
 

 When you need a challenge there is usually a ‘big mountain’ right in front of you to climb.
 

When you don’t need one... it usually comes tumbling down on you...
 

 

****
 

Life is crap... dressed up and romanticised as chocolate... till the first bite...
 

****
 

 Loneliness is much more bearable in solitude than in company.
 

 

****
 

 Who needs sex?  My parents had it once and just look where it got me.
 

****
 

 I know people who - I am sure - would love to be able to finish a sentence; only they don’t know where to begin...
 

****
 

 I’ll be generous to God. I will remain non-judgmental about His performance during my lifetime... in the hope that He’ll do the same for me...
 

****
 

 My latest and greatest mathematical discovery:
 Six time six is thirty-six.... but sex time sex is still only sex...
 

****
 

  - “May God have Percy on me...” sighed a novice nun upon discovering that the Panis Angelicus had nothing to do with an angel’s male part.
 

****
 

They say that hindsight is a great thing. But only to disguise the fact that it is the consequence of dysfunctional foresight.
 

****
 

I am human and therefore fallible. What right do I have to expect perfection from others?
 

****

 

Who said Lawyers have no sense of humour?
 Every bill is a joke!
 

 

****
 

 Wise is the person who keeps his opinion to himself whilst accepting others.
 

 

****
 

 I can’t complain. Life gave me a good run for my money... just forgot to give me good money for my run.
 

 

****
 

 Children come with a warning to their parents, wrapped in their soiled nappies (diapers) that says:
 “This is what you can expect for the rest of your life!"
 

****
 

 There are two major consolations in old age; one is that you cannot die young and the other is that it does not last as long as the time leading up to it.
 

****

  Being dead is easy and painless… it is only the process of dying, called life, that is full of pain and discomfort.
 

 

****
 

 
I don’t visit museums any more. I just look in the mirror.
  
 

****
 

 
 You can see more clearly with your eyes shut.
 

 

****
 

 

The road to destruction is littered with veiled threats, as well as solemn declarations of good intent.

 

**** 
 

I can take pride in one thing only and that is that I have never possessed anything or achieved anything that could make me proud; and therefore I can still sincerely rejoice in being able to say a humble thank you for anything I receive.

 

**** 
 

It is far easier and far less painful being dead than being a survivor who can remember.
 

  
**** 
  

Life - and the space in which life exists - is far stranger than fiction. Scientific truth is a mere fiction, with constantly shifting paradigms to boost, some of which are stranger than the reality they allude to. Science can make reality stand on its head, making it look stranger than fiction.

 

****

 

Human life is a continuous rush, a never-ending chase after a bubble.

 

****

Life is unfair. I suffer from irritable bowel syndrome as well as my wife's irritable mouth syndrome.

 

****

 

Some women calculate cleverly when choosing a husband, well aware that it is easy to get a willing dick - and any number of them - whilst it is much less easy, but much more preferable, to get and keep an arsehole, who either does not spot or does not mind the dicks around his household.

 

****

 

Great is the man who recognises and admits he is less than a speck.

 

 

****

 

The reassuring thing is that I have the same pair of shoulders to cry on as everyone else has in my family and in my circle of acquaintances… My own.

 

****

 

If I could give life a personality I would say that life is a perfidious woman named I T Sabitch.

 

****

 

Having kids is an unacceptably high price to pay for what amounts to perhaps no more than twenty minutes of pleasure.

 

****

 

Success too early in life often opens the gate to hell.

 

****

 

I think I'd prefer to die before this life kills me.

****

They say that time is money. If that is true , it would explain why I am not a wealthy man. I wasted a lot of time in my life and even more of my time was wasted by others.

 

****

 

Being human is the experience I would have wished to avoid at all cost, had I known what it involved. If there is a “next time” I will try my best to avoid just that.

 

****

 

If every pope had a Jewish uncle – right from the very beginning – the world would have been a happier and more secure place.

 

 

****

 

You cannot find an honest politician even in a graveyard. There too they just keep on lying…

 

 

****

 

In marriage only the first 25 years are difficult… the rest is… bloody impossible…

 

****

 

Dreams are the mother of reality…

Let’s dream for a more noble humanity…

 

****

 

Having a reasonably simple and pleasurable life is all about avoiding people who would fart in your face.

 

 

****

 

 

Life is an expensive time spent on dying slowly.

 

 

 

****

 

Old people are the leftovers on life’s dining table.

 

 

****

 

 

If you want to find out what life is all about, ask God… and don’t be surprised if you don’t get an answer.

 

 

****

 

Pensioners are just ordinary people who’s life – and money – is fast running out.

 

 

****

 

Love is the greatest obstacle to happiness.

 

 

****

 

 

Housework is a permanent battleground on which I keep losing.

 

 

****

 

 

I have no future. It was cancelled the day my wife passed away. Now all I have to do is to live long enough to die.

 

 

****

 

 

I still have plenty to give; but nobody seems to want it.

 

 

****

 

 

Reading and/or writing about erotica, or watching erotic movies is a very poor substitute for doing and enjoying it.

 

 

****

 

 

Life is a tragic-comedy of unfulfilled dreams.

 

****

 

If life is the cake, death is the cream.

 

 

****

 

 

 

© P. J. Oszmann (c. 1965 – 2009)

© Illustration created in Publisher and Photoshop. (2005)

 

 

 

 

As these thought are constantly updated and added to, I will – from time to time – update this article.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Web Site Jew Be or Not Jew Be
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Reader Reviews for "Thoughts… just thoughts… Part 2"


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Reviewed by Hiren Shah 10/7/2005
"Thoughts have infinite power" it is said. Thanks for sharing so many.God bless you
Reviewed by m j hollingshead 4/3/2005
nicely done
Reviewed by Tracey L. O' Very (Reader) 4/2/2005
Excellent! I love your Philosophy! Magnificent!

This is as equally as good as the first. This is PERFECTION at it's Peak.! Wise Wise words for the Whole wide world to remember!

Peter You are a Wise Man!

Kickin' back watchin' and listenin' to the world. So so many I want to mention them but I'd only rewrite this!

SUPERB!

I'm Impressed and in awe of all these thoughts captured.

Thank you for doing that. EXCELLENCE!!

BRAVO!!!

2 frames I need! (c:)

Tracey xooxox

Have a great day!!

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