LOVE LETTER; to my love
OPEN LETTER; to Chidinma – On Going Away
No history is construe with another. Every tale told is a significance of itself – fashioned in it own way; not to the benefit of another but for the purpose of telling. But every reader of history – tale finds one thing or the other to act upon either by a way of emulation or by mere avoidance of same. No single man or woman has ever lived without having the opportunity of being exposed to the secret knowledge about his / her neighbour’s life, where they fell short, or possibly, the secret behind their success. Yes, all this can not and will never relinquish us from exercising what is within us. This is true . It could hardly be otherwise, except on the bases of difference in opinion which we form in response to situation. In-fact they are welcome, but only few individual will understand. Reason, they know that all human life is a bunch of contrast. So- they had learnt to take people for what they were made of.
Such as this, could not be said of you and me considering the brief moment we had together. But then, it would be difficult not to believe we did not cling well. Of course we did! Not only on the contour impression between the well click eyes, but on the coming close to share a part of life with each other. Instance of character trait though has no power over us – yet has played a role on this part of letting go.
Certainly, if we had had more time and space we would have found something quite difference and significance. Something so pleasant about you and I; two lovebirds who in no time would understand that in spite of common things about us there will be lots of thing that will come up which only culture of tolerance and understanding would help to overcome. It wasn’t so! We were young – two young lovers, and I understand we were yet to have all the access to decision making having outgrowth teen.
To some of us, in as much as we live under the umbrella of our parents we are still subject to whatever ruling that comes our ways regardless of opinion or choice. This is simply so! That is the stuff our society is made of. No doubt! But then, a child is a child, and he / she must be treated that way. Of course teen ought to be treated as teen with all manner of respect. Reason, this is a period of discovery. In this case, real parents help in that journey of self discovery by becoming a guided angel rather than imposing anything on the said individual. Nothing really works in cause of playing god. Rather they should look out for their strength, the object of their dreams or imagination. Or possibly what they spend most time in doing. Where urgent attention is needed, same should be done quickly. This is true about parents and children relationship. It gives them the room to share inter-personal things which is more than a friendliness sort of things. More important, it gives the access into each others way of life. Who both will not learn from one another? Of course they will. Parents learn meekness by being child while children learn life by virtues being around the grown one.
Well, I as a person can not in all respect boast of ever had this kind of parental relationship. Except during the upbringing of which is in-between my first six years as a child. I could only remember few things being close to them. All that I learn of life and my environment were in books which I had the good fortune to be exposed to earlier enough. I real lot-lots of books that cover space called human life. Much as I know and the style of life that has since become of me could not be found in lyrics found in books, the power house of music, the passion of poetry and the entirety interface with nature which in no small measure were found in the aspect of woman you are. The truth is, in all the above mentioned you had been paraphrased in form – the beauty which shall remain a beauty in this contemporary world and the very one to come.
Why am I saying this? When I came your, I gave no reason – it is risky to do that – believe me it’s really a risky to profess love to you at first meeting. That will only mean I am not telling the truth! You and I though bird of a feather, we wouldn’t have understood love could hit just like that. Reason, we were stranger – I have to that knowledge decided to come to you as a friend. Give you the opportunity to know which class of life I belong to, and in return have to study and know you despite the fact that I had a good knowledge of your kind of person by heart. All of this turned only an illusion. It pained me to know that we were unable to make man of such good things.
This isn’t a major reason for this piece. It is on your response to situation like this. How I too – had accept the outcome before I eventually left that part of the country.
It is not unusual not to come in the way of the world. It is unusual when related people come together in an unrealized circumstance. It is! This world that might remain a sensual one within is a kind put together even the whole other one was in total disarray.
The truth is your mother is an embodiment of something so indescribable. I own her all the respect to motherhood. Being alone in Benin , she made me to understand that I can make a home where I thought none could make me one. I was touched by her kind of gesture – love and acceptance. When she finds out we were in love her response toward me never changed, except when I decided to avoid all of you on the bases that you are running from me. She felt betrayed. And when I’d returned into that ford again I was accepted unconditionally, but you are venerably gone and out of reach.
Well, I am not writing to appease you, or to bring back to mind the moment already gone. This dilemma does not make me feel safe alone having decided to write you this way. Of course I am safe even without this, but all the great aspect of meeting you which was left unduly make me sick – not for myself but for the sense and sake of meeting you. For this I realize, in all, I shall continue to hate the idea of letting go. I certainly do not believe is a bad idea, it only means I can only make myself what I desire to be. I do not have power over another. So I should never dream of changing them to sweet my purpose.
Certainly I am not a kind of person who easily gives up on things. Neither do I disagree with the notion that when one door is shut another open. I strongly believe in dreams. Though, most make miserable of the presence, I think, perhaps, it only gives one the room to find out the true power of constancy about oneself in line with a vision of the mind at all time. More important, it gives s room to allow other things to take shape in our life. So – to this end, I leave the floor open for others.
Fortunately, everyone will have one thing to say. Not all will ever say the right things about you. Yet, this is the age of reason, often tag “civilization”. You see – everything is civilized. I mean everything about us, of which in a shared opinion would hardly not see the derail-ness of this society. That is why the rate of broken relationship and broken marriages is alarming. Everyone wants to be heard or reckon with. This truth is – nothing is wrong with that, but on the part of it application
True love as beauty as it is seldom happened between two perfect people. It’s either one is more influential, or vast in the field of life. Or that one is a teacher while the other is a pupil even in that grown up. To be a teacher and a pupil is to be speaker and a listener respectively in respect of status in life without considering the pain of subjecting oneself to such things that may look as demeaning one. By so doing – the two people involve will at the end grow together to become what is call perfect match, and the journey is done –
What is more? Long has the object of true love turned an illusion? What we often see today is only a business as usual. Average men and women believe love does not exit anymore. It is fashionable nowadays to tell someone you love them and in the next minute you frown at same. It is allowed – that is the stuff the society is made of. Yet – not in anyway has people discontinued this adventure that often left trait on them. Does this confirm our being afraid to be alone? Or that they just needed somebody to be with – share what is worth sharing or certainly, it would bring the fulfillment of creative purpose. Whether this is true or not, I cannot in all respect share this view. Reason, a view need not put aside the side of human dignity which were seldom consider whenever a case of calling off a relationship, or that of marriage is.
When you love someone – it is meant to be that way. Whether in thick, or in best of time, it is meant to remain the object of a part of life shared together in all sincerity regardless of what time bring. Reason! Life is not a bed of rose! So – whatever comes the way of lovers, ought to be a point showing each strength. All mankind must therefore show forth this altitude. Love is best seen in people who made up their mind to be a part of each other regardless of anything once they are convince that they are meant to be. To this end, we should never believe that everything about love is a fiction. If by a mere visualization, we concluded this way, we should understand that every fiction make uses of human character. As a matter of fact, what we call fiction is nothing but a replica of who we are in the object of our imagination.
The truth is that love exists, and it’s within the reach of every one of us. Whether young or old, man or woman, once you discover your place in God, the essence of living will be made manifested within in you. This is true about our individual – self in likeness of another.
Unfortunately, you and I never had a time of life. Only a form of defining of oneself – reason! Meeting you gave me opportunity of a journey of self discovery in a new way. And that’s all I’d live with – finding myself a place in the historical movement of this world. Indeed, you are part of my life! Only that you chose to go away.
More like I always wanted to reach you even when you never create such space again, I considered the possibility of not meeting you where we had both parted. The brief debate lasted for months. I decided then that since you are only a year away from college, it would not be advisable to come all the way from Lagos to Benin to profess love to you. Or to renew a commitment with you; to that end, I told myself a year is like a day and that would only reveal the full strength of my love for you considering the power behind returning to you after that interlude. This is only two years and eight months! I understand a lot has changed, we had changed too – you told me so. It took you minutes before you could recollect my name – less my face during the first telephone conversation. It is disappointing! I couldn’t trust that memory considering your mother quick recollection. What has gone wrong with your memory? After to all, memories don’t die – only people do. If to this time I shall no longer belong to you, my dear – it would hardly mean you belong to me. But then, you are still to me the perfect ordinary woman, and such that I can see going about life, you are unimaginable beauty of an incredible world. The world which is so dear to me
My love, I want you to know that love is being happy with someone who knows the truth about you, yet, decided to stay with you. Love will want to walk side by side with someone you love in the same direction in spite of the castrating eyes on street forming opinion – love soars on the wings of sharing experiences that are inspirational, humorous, exciting, or hopeful. Love could never be anything else if it can never be that when you look into the other person’s to find where your heart is beaten.
Chidinma, I don’t know if you really know that this is long tale about you and I. but I know you know, only that you were afraid your parents will scold you because I am a stranger, and a sojourner, – then, you were young. Did you ever discus me with your closest friend. Did you ever try to examine what I’m up to coming closer to you day by day by a way of drawing away from your elder sister whom is equally a friend? You are just more than friend to me. You are all I wanted. I fell in love with you even before meeting you and when I saw you, the real world was unveiled.
Meeting you had been momentary things, but it becoming clearer everyday that I did just meet you, I met you because I needed to and ever after, you reflect in everything that’s just to me. Everything that’s my dream – you really are rare; and I found joy always walking on the side of memory that’s you.
Do not think I had become so crazy about loving you. No! Love is not being crazy about someone or something; love is being temperament. Love inspires and excites. It uncovers the beauty part of our life in line with our dreams. A very sense of discovery! And that’s exactly what you’re to even at miles apart.
I remember you told you love poetry but don’t know how to write one. I remember it as if it were only yesterday. Well, I had written same to commemorate the brief moment we had together. Only to find out later you had been immortalized. To that end, you are far away while I can no longer behold your face. You never faraway because I see you every now and then; I don’t know why, but it might remain so!
One thing you should know is that once you establish an intimacy with someone, you will have an intimate relationship with that person for the rest of your life. This is the truth whether you are together, or apart, or certainly you are far away form one another, a part of that person will still be with you. Once two people fall in love, the love is always there to stay. You can’t push it away even if you want to. The excitement and the thrilling may fade but not the love; the love is just being buried by all the pain and the agony of human nature.
Looking at you now only in the tall mirror that lies in the eyes of the people always on the walkway, your reflection and this longing to talk and make merry with you again and again – if only we could just meet again, or probably afresh, and unfamiliar, or maybe familiar; then just forget about the running; if only time could return; or perhaps we could meet again – well, maybe that’s part of it all. We meet, and then part – but the most important thing is that we had met; and I will never forget you. Reason! Part of you had grown in me
Oh Chidinma, my love, my only dream! I don’t think I can ever be anything more to you than that I had never been. Though hope to – because hope believes that we can still meet if only there’s another place where we would. And altogether, I had left my heart in you -
In anyway you might look at things now, do not ever forget to remember that I am the poor boy who once fell in love with you. It is true , when I came your way; you never expect any gift from me. Neither do I – in that of the country. But these were the inevitable things about live! Anyway, I gave you one with all respect, and of which had exchanged for yours. Keep it is you so desire; and if otherwise, give it away. I shall find it again – though someone in age; that pieces of my heart-
Felix O. S.