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Stephany Alexander

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Unfaithful Men: Why Men Are Unfaithful
by Stephany Alexander   
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last edited: Saturday, January 05, 2008
Posted: Friday, April 13, 2007

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Do you keep getting unvolved with unfaithful men? Find out reasons why men are unfaithful.


Unfaithful men seem to be everywhere nowadays. Your chances of becoming involved with an unfaithful man in this day and age are great. Yet, the age-old question of why men are unfaithful is difficult to answer. Infidelity touches all types of people, rich or poor.

Hally Berry’s ex-husband, Eric Benet, was notorious for cheating on one of the most beautiful, successful women in Hollywood. Hugh Grant chose a street hooker for his sexual escapade even though he had the incredible looking actress Elizabeth Hurley for a girlfriend. Jude Law cheated on Sienna Miller.

Jennifer Lopez supposedly requested Ben Affleck to sign a pre-nuptial agreement promising fidelity after an evening with strippers. Catherine Zeta-Jones had a section regarding Michael Douglas’s promised fidelity written into their pre-nuptial. Fidelity pre-nuptial agreements are becoming the norm for women with big bank accounts or those entering into relationships with famous or wealthy men.

According to a infidelity poll from WomanSavers.com, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith have the strongest Hollywood marriage. In another WomanSaver’s poll of over 133,000 women, 56% caught their man cheating red handed and another 36% suspected but didn’t have proof. This doesn’t say much for the current monogamy rates in our society.

Long-term monogamy is difficult for most men, even those that aren’t far away from their lady. However, it is not only men that cheat, but also women. Take for instance, Meg Ryan, who left her husband for an affair with Russell Crowe.

Statistics differ on who cheats more – men or women. Most statistics still say that men are more unfaithful but that may change in the future. However, if two people really love each other and want to be with each other, they'll have the strength to withstand temptation.The lives of wealthy celebrities are quite different from the average persons. Looking at celebrities tells us very little about the average couple or as to the reasons why men are unfaithful because their lives are so different. A famous actor has women throwing themselves at him on a regular basis, whereas most average guys don’t. Even if a male celebrity restrains himself the majority of the time, there may be that one time when he gives in. While the average man may face the temptation to be unfaithful once in a while, it's not likely to happen as often.

Most husbands probably have the urge to cheat at one time or another. Those that choose not to respect their partner and their relationship too much to risk it. Many experts feel that an unfaithful man cheats because he is in an unhealthy relationship that already had existing problems. It would be interesting to know how many men who are in happy relationships are unfaithful. What are the underlying reasons as to why men are unfaithful? Sometimes it can be a simple reason, other times a complex combination of reasons. Are unfaithful men simply insatiable sexually? Is an unfaithful man really controlled by his “privates” and not his mind?

Various statistics claim that the more attractive a person is, the more likely they will be unfaithful because their opportunities to cheat increase. However, just because you marry an ugly guy doesn’t mean he won’t be unfaithful.

Reasons why men are unfaithful in a happy relationship may be because they are selfish or to pump their ego. Cheating is an extremely selfish act and men who cheat rarely think about their partner’s feelings when committing the act. Since a cheating man lacks respect for his lady, he is obviously much more likely to make moves on a sexy lady.

Are men’s genes really that out of control that they can’t remain faithful? Expert’s views are divided. Some experts state unfaithful men cheat because they are lonely or simply as an escape. Since men are taught not to show or communicate their feelings, stopping the cheating behavior becomes even more difficult. Sometimes having sex is the only way a cheating man can even achieve an emotional bond. Because of this, it isn’t surprising that when men cheat, many times their emotional needs are not met at all. Those cheating men that suffer from the guilt associated from the affair, may experience a mix of emotions ranging from lashing out in anger, depression or being overly nice. It’s a vicious cycle and one that is hard to break.Then enter the pills such as Viagra and Cialis, and men do not have a proper chance to discover other forms of intimacy as they age. Many women look forward to their retirement years when their relationships will focus more on the communication aspect of their relationships but with the inventions of these pills, this is no longer possible.

A cheating man is more likely to stay in a relationship if there is a long relationship history of time, there are intertwined monies or if there are children. However, these reasons are not enough to stay in an unhappy relationship while lying to your partner and endangering their health by having unprotected sex. Our advice. Seek counseling and work on it or get out. Nuff said.

Written by Dating Expert, Stephany Alexander, B.A., Author, Women's Speaker
Credentials:  Stephany Alexander is the founder of www.WomanSavers.com, one of the most popular women's sites on the net (top 5%) receiving millions of hits per month.

* Founder - highest trafficked abused women's message board on the net
* Founder of Largest Online Database of Men in the World
* Author of 'Sex, Lies and the Internet,' A Survival Guide to Online Dating http://www.sexliesandtheinternet.com
* Dating expert on numerous talks shows and call-in radio shows
* Author of over 50 articles on online dating and relationships
* Author of 22 dating and relationship quizzes
* Internet Polling Expert on relationship and dating issues, surveying over 350,000 women in on-line polls
* Creator of 9 women's comedy cartoon e-cards, including one claymation
* Creator of 6 women's online games, one arcade quality

Ms. Alexander is frequently called on by the media as the nation's leading Dating Expert. Featured on: CNN, CBS, FOX, Sirius Satellite, KROQ, KIIS, Mike & Juliet Show, Good Day Las Vegas, Esquire Magazine, Wall Street Journal, NY Times, and countless radio shows.

Web Site: WomanSavers.com - World's Largest Database Rating Men


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Reviewed by Debbie Lacy
This was a great read and I agree with Ellen, women just be yourselves. We are all beautiful because God created each of us the way he wanted us and if in our marriage we're doing all the right things as a wife is suppose to do, then we will be rewarded because we held on our vows of Holy Matrimony and kept it sacred. If a man wants to cheat his actions are accountable and he'll have to suffer the consequences. Sure love hurts sometimes but we have to remain cool and give the situation to God for a resolution. Sin is Sin no matter how big or how small so it isn't necessary to go on vengeful payback because you will be just as accountable. Just trust God in everything and believe he will fix the problem. Because No one can fix it like God can!
Reviewed by Ken Kupstis
Kudos to Kalikiano Kalei! Got it in one.

I would also mention that Men get 1000 more options as soon as they're in a 'committed' relationship with a woman. As soon as you're seen with a woman, other women crawl naked over broken glass to get to you...even if you're unattractive. There's an army of women on the prowl for married men, for no other reason except that they're married. Meanwhile, decent single guys are socially invisible to women.
Reviewed by Kalikiano Kalei
I am invariably bemused by the typical mainland American woman's opinion that absolutely fidelity is an unassailably absolute norm that can not, should not, and must not be compromised in a marriage. As we find in many other countries and cultures, this is an outlook that more often predominates in white North America than in other parts of the world that are not as severely constrained by the conservative moralities imposed by conventional Christian religion. From a biological stance, males are principally primed by nature to impregnate females in a perpetuation of the species. Females, from the same viewpoint, are evolutionally bioengineered to conceive and bear young towards the same end. Only when you factor in the immense complexities of human emotion does that basic formula waver and fall off into chaotic social disarray. But that is just a general observation, of course. Concerning specifics of attraction between men and women, natural selection prompts male interest in fecund, females capable of bearing children. Similarly, females are attracted to strong and virile males who promise the best chances of reproductive success in producing healthy progeny; numerous behavioral studies have demonstrated and established the basic, almost subliminal instincts and motivations underlying these traits. Human marriage has always been a tenuous copperative partnership at best, even among the most agrarian (non-technologised) and primitive aocial groups. In a modern Western culture like that which predominates in America (with its highly mobile, self-centered inertial influences and excessive emphasis on material gain and consumption), marital stability and persistance of fidelity suffers enormously. From my own experience as one who has many times been tempted to seek sexual gratification 'elsewhere', although I am married to an attractive and nominally desirable woman of 61 years, I can attribute that desire to look elsewhere to a lack of recognition by my partner on the means to keep me interested. It doesn't take a degree in rocket science (speaking of allegorical 'roman candles') to understand that men are very simply and basically motivated by visual means and visual suggestion, and yet most women I know fail to recognise, understand and exhibit these 'signs and signals' by which they may encourage continued sexual interest by their mates. There is an old joke that examines this by comparing the way men and women shower. The man whoops it up, waggles his willy, and generally acts like Tarzan retruning from a dip in the lake, while the wife covers up completely, assumes an extremely modest and demure air after her shower, and flits back to the privacy of her dressing area taking great care not to display even the slightest bit of bare skin. What is missing here is an understanding of the basics of sensuality and healthy sexuality on the part of most American women. One doesn't need to be the identical physical clone of an Angela Jolie to attract and keep the rapt sexual attention of a marital partner....just an understanding that men are sexually oriented in all aspects of their lives and a basic awareness of how to make that force 'work' for them in their lives. I neither condemn men for their inherently promiscuous approach to life not do I fault them for looking elsewhere when that basic 'need' is denied, withheld, or used (most damagingly) as a conditional bargaining tool in sexual arbitration by a wife who fails to understand these forces and how to make them work for her. 'Communication' in later life is all well and good if the 'intellectual raw material' is there right from the beginning of a marriage, but as is so often the case, in most marriages it is not; in that event, sexual release assumes a far greater role in long-term marrital situations than might otherwise obtain, since men are not intellectually stimulated by vapid, stultifying chit-chat. Interesting commentary, but in my opinion highly arguable on all acounts. Mahalo for sharing this with us. Clearly, the subject is too far-reaching and complex to make a compelling arument for rebuttal in the space of a few sentences, so I offer these words well mindful of that rather constraining limitation.
Kalikiano
Reviewed by Ellen Callaghan
I believe the main reason why many men are unfaithful is down to how women perceive themselves. If we were brought up to accept and love ourselves the same way as men are, they would be more respectful towards us.

Instead, we spend half our lives trying to change ourselves into some sort of male fantasy. Real women aren't the size 0, airbrushed, so called goddesses we see on the silver screen and in fashion magazines. We're normal everyday women who hold down jobs, take care of children and live on a budget.

Let's face it, we'd all love to have our fantasies realised. I'd like to see the streets full of Colin Firth and Antonio Bandarez lookalikes, who wouldn't? But that's not real life is it.

We accept that as men get older they either gain weight, lose their hair, their teeth or indeed all three. That's life. We can accept men the way they are, so they should accept us.

Start liking yourselves girls. You're great the way you are and if your men don't like then tough, let them chase rainbows or whatever else it is they think they're missing out on.

As Eleanor Roosevelt once said : Someone has to have your full permission before they can make you feel inferior!
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