Chapter 23 - Overcoming Fear

Almost everyone has things they want to do or want to achieve but they don’t follow through because of fear. There are three main fears that stop people from achieving the lifestyles they want:

(a) Fear of Rejection

Take the classic example of the guy who meets a beautiful girl. He really wants to ask her out but the fear of rejection is too strong and he misses out. Another example is writers who write stories or books but they never submit them for publication for fear of rejection.

(b) Fear of Failure

Some people have such a fear of failure that they won’t even start something or initiate a venture in case it fails. There are thousands of New Zealanders with fantastic ideas for starting a business, but who never take the first step because of the fear of failure. Similarly, there are thousands of New Zealanders who know that they need a radical lifestyle change buy they fear that the change could lead to failure.

(c) Fear of the Unknown

There are numerous people who are working in jobs or careers they don’t like but they won’t make a change because of a fear of the unknown.

I am fortunate in that I am blessed with a personality that generally does not fear change or uncertainty. But I remember when I bought my first rental property and when I first started in business, I was nervous.

In order to create your perfect lifestyle you need to overcome these types of fears. Here is my advice on overcoming fears and thereby making your world the way you want it:

(a) Identify Areas for Change

Ask yourself where you want to be in five years e.g. with my dream partner, in a job/business I love, in my own freehold house, with a published novel!

(b) Admit your Fears

Until you admit your fears specifically you cannot address them e.g. I fear the unknown and failure if I completely change my career path.

(c) Consequences

Concentrate on what your life will be like if you don’t change, and emphasise how bad it will be! For example: “If I don’t change I will be stuck in this dead end job until they make me redundant and then I’ll be unemployable and I’ll be broke and I’ll also die lonely because I haven’t got the guts to ask out the person I like!”

The more you focus on the negatives of not changing, the more you will be motivated to change. One of the tools I use is that I imagine myself as an 80-year-old sitting in a rocking chair looking back over my life. What do I want to be looking back on? Success, prosperity, happiness, joy, fulfilment, successful marriage and family, opportunities taken etc.

(d) Identify Areas for Change

Specifically identify areas of your life that you are not happy with and that need change. Write them down.

(e) Be decisive

Don’t prolong the pain! Make a decision right now i.e. today! Planning your next five years starts right now. Write that resignation letter now, phone the person you want to ask out right now! Whatever it is, start the process now.

If you are still having trouble making a decision go back to step (c) and tell yourself over and over how much worse your life is going to be if you stay in your rut.

Action: Complete these steps (a) to (e) with a piece of paper. Take action today!

Remember some of the decisions you make will be mistakes, but that is okay. Mistakes are simply learning experiences. We need to allow ourselves to make mistakes and we need to allow ourselves to fail (see chapter on Failure).