HOW I WISH SOMEONE HAD
TOLD ME THESE THINGS WHEN I WAS YOUNG ......
Advice From An Older Woman
By La Belle Rouge
If you're young don't rush to be older, enjoy each phase of your life, taking the days as they come. Make a plan, set a goal, don't float on life like a lazy bug on a swift river. Life moves fast and it waits for no one. If you snooze you lose and if you run in circles you get nowhere.
The world is not going to fall all over you and reward you just for being here, don't expect things you don't work for. Don't take foolish risks but always be willing to take a risk when you need to and learn how to discern the difference.
Remember you are just as good as anyone else, you deserve respect and you deserve some happiness in life. Don't make the mistake of living your life to please everyone but yourself. Don't be a self centered hedonist but don't be a myrtar either. Find that place of balance where you and those around you are both important and cared for. Always consider that beauty starts on the inside and radiates outward. Even the times you feel the lest attractive you are still beautiful in the eyes of your Creator and those who genuinely love you.
Don't rush to connect your life with another's. It's better to be alone than to be bound to the wrong person. If a relationship detracts from your self esteem, growth and happiness, end it, it usually won't get any better. Don't be influenced in your decision by your family, your religious teaching, your friends, only you will know if the relationship you are in is worth staying in. When the suffering inflicted outweighs the love bestowed it's time to cut ties, be it with lovers or friends.
Give all the love you can but remember trust must be earned. Learn that you can't trust the untrustworthy and you can't love someone who won't let you neither can you help someone who refuses to be helped. Understand it's their decision not to be loved or helped and not your choice or fault.
When you find true heart connections, cultivate them like the priceless and delicate roses they are. Learn to be a non-judgmental, loyal and rejuvenating sancturary for your friends and learn how to let them be the same for you.
Find the things that give you joy and indulge liberally in them. Find the things you are good at, the abilities The Creator has gifted you with and give them back generously to the Earth.
Learn early in life that no one can force you to do things you hate unless you allow them to. Understand that you cannot be responsible for the feelings and actions of others, only for your own.
Never let anyone place a load of false guilt on your shoulders. If you do your best, you've done well and don't let anyone take that sure knowledge from you. Just because someone thinks or says something negative about you doesn't necessarily make it so. Learn how to tell yourself the truth, only you know your heart and the miles you've walked in your shoes. On the other hand, Always remain tender hearted enough and honest enough to say "I'm Sorry" when you need to.
When you get hurt learn how to deal with it, roll with the punches. Grieve fully, freely and as long as it takes. Try to resist that very human urge to hurt back those who wounded you. Forgive, even if you can't forget. Learn how to rejoice fully and well and learn how to grieve the same way. You are going to need both these skills many times in life.
Find the center, the core, of who you really are and learn how to love and appreciate yourself. You must love yourself before you can really love others. Enjoy every bit of your life you can, don't let anyone rob you of moments of happiness.
Find the ways, means and places that tend to spiritually center and ground you and don't hesitate to use them to move you toward your goal of self love and awareness. Find your own spirtual beliefs and strength, don't give up searching until you embrace your truth and find your place in the divine scheme of things. Never,never, NEVER let anyone impose their beliefs on you or shadow your life with religious fear and spiritual bondage. Be teachable but not gullible or weak.
Relate to each person on their own merits, never stereotype anyone. Build up others when you can and when you can't just leave them alone rather than tear them down. On the other hand, don't let anyone push you around or walk on you, no matter who they are.
If you make a mistake, and you will, pick yourself up and go on with life taking the lesson with you. Wisdom is hard earned sometimes. Listen to your inner voice of wisdom, your intuition is rarely wrong. The problem is we are not taught to value it enough and so sometimes we ignore it and we suffer for that impulsiveness later. Spontaneity is good but never throw wisdom and intuition to the wind.
So this is my advice, my tidbits of wisdom that no one told me and I wish it hadn't taken so long for me to learn. If you're young maybe you'll consider them and your life will be enriched.
6/25/2008 La Belle Rouge